Why are all the good, decent women unattractive?

[chucksagent]

Wolf18 - VERY well said. I am happy to see people like you who post who can articulate an argument and explain their point intelligently. Makes it hard for anybody to disagree.

 

I think you 100% NAILED it with pretty women - "On cloud 9 and unaware of your surroundings." I couldn't have described it better myself. Prime Example:

 

My girlfriend is ABSOLUTELY gorgeous. She is mid 30's. She ADMITS she is somewhat of a space cadet. She doesn't like to think 2 steps ahead much less 4 or 5 steps ahead, lol. She is always hitting her head, or walking into a wall, or forgetting something, etc. I TRULY believe this isn't because she was born dumb (her Dad went to Harvard and graduated with a law degree from there and undergrad from Cornell - also Ivy League and has to BRILLIANT sisters who have a Masters and a doctorate respectively)

 

I think it comes back to when you are THAT good looking (and talented - she was ALWAYS in theatre and still did local theatre just up until last year) and she has the most amazing personality EVER, I don't think you necessarily need to hone your brain skills (as our last poster explained).

 

I think in life you discover what skills can get you ahead and hone them. For example, I am an average to MAYBE slightly above average looking guy. I am slightly overweight (always have been). So growing up, I relied on my personality, humor, and brains.

 

I have LOTS of friends, am a lawyer, and people tell me I am hilarious wherever I go. However, I am not very talented and I would NEVER stop someone in their tracks with my looks. My girlfriend is the kindest person I have ever known and her beauty could LITERALLY stop a person (man or women) in their tracks, AND she is very talented. But, as Wolf18 pointed out about this type of woman, she isn't very aware of her surroundings all the time...LOL.

 

But as Wofl18 said, I DONT THINK I WOULD BE EITHER!!! You simply don't have to be. Lol. And I sometimes think smart people (myself included) point out how dumb and out of it good looking people are to somehow make you feel A LITTLE better; but I wonder, when will good looking/talented people start saying, "Lose weight and look better, smart people!" LMAO.

[stillafool]

Next thing the yuppies and hipsters will try and take over Queens. They used to be just confined to upper Manhattan but they already took the Lower East Side, Brooklyn and from what I hear they are starting on the Bronx. They better stay the hell out of Jersey.

 

 

I know and why is that? There was a time when they wouldn't be caught dead in Brooklyn and the Bronx, now they are all migrating there. Sickening. I hate it when people degrade a place because lower income people have to live there and then they themself turn around and move there and cause the price of housing to rise. That's the same with the south, everyone claimed to hate the south and now those same people are moving there.

[Sanman]

I know and why is that? There was a time when they wouldn't be caught dead in Brooklyn and the Bronx, now they are all migrating there. Sickening. I hate it when people degrade a place because lower income people have to live there and then they themself turn around and move there and cause the price of housing to rise. That's the same with the south, everyone claimed to hate the south and now those same people are moving there.

 

 

I don't want to derail the thread, so I will try and keep this post brief. However, this migration to Brooklyn is just a symptom of the larger NYC problem. Manhattan is turning into a place for only the super rich. While it certainly was that already, even the historically more affordable areas (hell's kitchen, morningside heights, harlem) are becoming so pricey that it is ridiculous. I was recently in Baltimore to visit a friend who works at Johns Hopkins. He has a high-end luxury apartment that costs $1500/month a few blocks from the inner harbor. Meanwhile, my 3 story walk up in Brooklyn cost almost that much and I didn't even live in a trendy neighborhood. NYC is increasingly representing the vast differences between that 1% and the other 99% that those 'Occupy Wall Street' protests are speaking about. My finance friends start at $100k and many are making over $200k now after less than 10 years. They are nice guys, but I am really not sure what they do to deserve such ridiculous salaries. I have double to triple the education and I will be lucky to see $200k/year ever. I can't imagine the struggle for those with normal jobs. Meanwhile, the city and MTA are going broke and those of us not living in Manhattan can't even find a train to get home half the time with all the service cuts and work being done. Manhattan is just out of touch and Bloomberg is just making things worse. End of rant.

[Sanman]

This really is statistical rather than causality-linked. It's pretty much the same reason you would almost never find a top-tier basketball player who also won the Nobel Prize, or an Olympics champion who was also a chess grandmaster. Not that athletic people are dumb, or that intelligent people are weak. It's simply the fact that it's rare to find someone exceptionally good in one aspect, and exponentially so to find someone exceptionally good in more than one aspect. Add that to the fact that you are what you do - ie a model often spends upwards of 6 hours a day on his or her looks, working out, professional makeup and stylists, whereas the intellectual would spend that time reading, improving his or her skillsets and knowledge, or doing whatever his/her field of research involves.

 

 

You bring up a great point here. People are acting as if beauty only comes from genetics. In day and age, even the most beautiful do not look that good without the aid of spray tans, waxing, hair extensions, makeup, clothes, etc. There certainly is a large market for this with regard to women. However, even men are the targets of fashion now. I know several guys that get tans, get their eyebrows done, get waxed, need the latest styles clothes, and I am sure even more. Those who are more involved in such things tend to look better. They also forgo time doing other things.

[Easyguy14]

Why are all the good, decent women unattractive?

 

That’s frequently the euphamisim people use when women are beautiful on the inside. That’s because they usually have rolls of fat on the outisde. When women are beautiful on the outside, no one ever bothers to find out if they are beautiful on the inside.

 

Bottom line.

 

Actually, I shouldn’t say “bottom.”

 

I usually try to find out what's going on inside when given the chance to, but us average joes don't always get that opening. Who else agrees?

[serial muse]

I usually try to find out what's going on inside when given the chance to, but us average joes don't always get that opening. Who else agrees?

 

wait, so what you're saying is that the "good, decent women" who are, i guess, unattractive, aren't actually good and decent either because they don't give average joes a chance, so that now we're saying that there aren't any good, decent women at all, really? is that where this is going?

 

sigh. so this is another of those threads. yay.

[Woggle]

One thing I will say to again derail this thread is that even though MTV has exploited the town where I live the people who live here and the mom and pop businesses still control things. We overcharge the hell out of MTV to do the simplest things.

[serial muse]

One thing I will say to again derail this thread is that even though MTV has exploited the town where I live the people who live here and the mom and pop businesses still control things. We overcharge the hell out of MTV to do the simplest things.

 

This is a derailment I agree with and support.

[Woggle]

This is a derailment I agree with and support.

 

There is a place here that charges MTV one million dollars every time they want to film in there. I don't blame the owner. They really wore out their welcome this past summer though.

[AHardDaysNight]

MTV has gone down the tubes. It's all about teenage pregnancies and fighting housewives.

 

There's no substance to most tv anymore.

[Woggle]

MTV has gone down the tubes. It's all about teenage pregnancies and fighting housewives.

 

There's no substance to most tv anymore.

 

Very true. I give Jersey Shore about one more season and then I can have a peaceful summer again.

[Duckduckgoose]

The hottest guy with a ****ty personality is less attractive to me than a guy that's kinda hard to look at with everything else going for him.

 

Call me shallow. The hot ones knows they can do better. The uh... ugly ones have some more substance to them.

[Negative Nancy]

Mr. 6 figures.

 

hilarious

[RiverRunning]

I do wish more men would give it a chance with women they don't find initially 'attractive.' I do think there's a chance, OVER TIME, that the physical attraction can grow. The more you're around someone, the more fondness you are likely to feel. I get that the 'I can become physically attracted to you' thing is probably easier for women than it is for men, but men don't even seem to give it a chance. They look and move on quickly.

 

In 30 years, that hot babe is gonna have wrinkles. She'll probably put on some weight. And then it's just droll conversation after droll conversation, because in all that time you were having sweet monkey sex - which was a huge priority for you - you didn't take the opportunity to get really involved with her on a deeper level. Looks shouldn't be your top priority. A big priority, fine. But would taking a 7 rather than a 9 really kill you? Would it be so off-putting that you couldn't really get into the relationship?

 

I'm fine with the idea that everyone has a different idea, but i think this generation of men is so...deluded. Men who are 1s or 2s are holding out for models. I've heard of 'shopping up,' but never 'shopping the Heavens.'

 

For what it's worth, I have had friends - male and female - who confided that they weren't physically into their partner. Eventually, they decided to pursue it. They are some of the happiest couples I know now. Once they allowed themselves to get over that complex of 'my mate has to be my physical ideal,' they got to see what was really important to them.

[AD1980]

I do wish more men would give it a chance with women they don't find initially 'attractive.' I do think there's a chance, OVER TIME, that the physical attraction can grow. The more you're around someone, the more fondness you are likely to feel. I get that the 'I can become physically attracted to you' thing is probably easier for women than it is for men, but men don't even seem to give it a chance. They look and move on quickly.

 

In 30 years, that hot babe is gonna have wrinkles. She'll probably put on some weight. And then it's just droll conversation after droll conversation, because in all that time you were having sweet monkey sex - which was a huge priority for you - you didn't take the opportunity to get really involved with her on a deeper level. Looks shouldn't be your top priority. A big priority, fine. But would taking a 7 rather than a 9 really kill you? Would it be so off-putting that you couldn't really get into the relationship?

 

I'm fine with the idea that everyone has a different idea, but i think this generation of men is so...deluded. Men who are 1s or 2s are holding out for models. I've heard of 'shopping up,' but never 'shopping the Heavens.'

.

 

Why are you acting like its a strictly male thing? Todays women are every bit as shallow visual and into looks as men

[Disenchantedly Yours]

One of the sexist men I knew was not what the rest of society might have defined as good looking. And I liked that rough grit to him. It worked on him.

[OneFootOut]

I'm serious about this too. Maybe it's just a NY thing or whatever, but I'm noticing that all the women with great personalities are either over the hill or physically undesirable. This is about 8 out of every 10. And the other 2 are average at best.

 

Not since my ex-girlfriend from Target who was fine as linen sheets since I have run into an attractive girl with something going for herself and wants the same in her mate, although her character had various flaws, but still in the upper region of a beautiful, nice girl: no drinking/no drugs, etc.

 

And I can't even get her back because some other dude snatched her up just two weeks ago! Now I'm stuck with having to look at young and sexy drunks on Friday nights staggering out of bars/clubs or the nice homebody type that can't even reach a 6 on the tipping scale.

 

There is a theory, in which I like to believe. (Because it fits me )

 

Most physically 'unattractive' older, overweight, women are the way they are because it is in their nature to be a caregiver and nurturer. Most have spent their lives taking care of others, thus tending to neglect themselves, often never aware of doing so.

 

Unfortunately, when the people they have spent their lives caring for are gone or grown, then they realize they have neglected themselves along the way.

 

Now, while they have developed a wonderful personality, and have an inherent warm, loving, giving, and loyal nature... no one chooses them because their outward appearance doesn’t fit the ‘ideals’ most men still carry about finding their visually stunning Miss Rights.

 

Many of “us” who are in that category have been through so many struggles and trials over the years that our physical appearance and hair and nails weren’t even close to being a priority, much less a passing thought. Now we are who we are, and passed by much more often than not. Maybe by men like you who want all of those great qualities in a 20 year old sexy little package?

 

On a positive note, they are out there, those wonderful Miss Rights, just as the men who would want, love, and cherish someone like me. They just seem to be as rare as unicorns these days

[Febreze]

There is a theory, in which I like to believe. (Because it fits me )

 

Most physically 'unattractive' older, overweight, women are the way they are because it is in their nature to be a caregiver and nurturer. Most have spent their lives taking care of others, thus tending to neglect themselves, often never aware of doing so.

 

Unfortunately, when the people they have spent their lives caring for are gone or grown, then they realize they have neglected themselves along the way.

 

Now, while they have developed a wonderful personality, and have an inherent warm, loving, giving, and loyal nature... no one chooses them because their outward appearance doesn’t fit the ‘ideals’ most men still carry about finding their visually stunning Miss Rights.

 

Many of “us” who are in that category have been through so many struggles and trials over the years that our physical appearance and hair and nails weren’t even close to being a priority, much less a passing thought. Now we are who we are, and passed by much more often than not. Maybe by men like you who want all of those great qualities in a 20 year old sexy little package?

 

On a positive note, they are out there, those wonderful Miss Rights, just as the men who would want, love, and cherish someone like me. They just seem to be as rare as unicorns these days

 

Guess what? I'm one of those rare women but I'm not 20 any more; no one should be rejected because they're a little bit older than the norm, or what's considered by many to be the norm.

 

I'm 35 but most say I look 27-28 because my skin is clear and I keep very fit and active. Being a nurse forces you to do that but guys still seem to be running for younger these days.

 

Dont they know that these young girls are nothing but trouble? I've lived that life already so I know what its like

 

Its as if once they learn you're 30+ they put you in a separate category even if you still look good. I dont get that

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

 

Its as if once they learn you're 30+ they put you in a separate category even if you still look good. I dont get that

 

Believe me. Sometimes it can be a blessing if certain men put you in a separate category, whatever their reasons for it. For example, any guy who believes that "all the good, decent women are unattractive." Keep away!

[Symetrical-Siren]

You're seeing them with your physical eye, and not your heart. Physical beauty is an illusion which can also be altered.

 

Say you found a gorgeous woman with a great personality.....you're together for a year....she ends up in a serious auto accident, which scars her face. How likely are you going to stick around ?

 

People put way too much stock in physical beauty. That's vanity. All you're doing is selling yourself short, by making it harder on yourself. Helen of Troy passed away many moons ago dude.

 

Try the lady with the great personality you like, and put a paper bag over her head, or just close your eyes and picture your fave celebrity. Better yet, the drunker you get.....the prettier she'll become.