nature Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 My phone was just ringing. I went to answer it and recognized the number. A number I have not seen in 2 years. My ex fiance. We broke up 3 years ago, and kept somewhat in touch the first year of the break up with silly games and stupid bs where we were both acting out of hurt. We ended all contact in September of 2009. He's had a girlfriend since soon after that time. I have seen them around together from a distance, and even saw them riding their bikes together 2 weeks ago from a distance. We live in a somewhat smallish town (160,000 people) in the sameish area of town. I don't know why he called me? It made me feel nervous and sick. i don't hate him or anything. In fact, part of me still loves him to bits. It kind of stings when i have seen him around with his girlfriend, but I've dealt with it quietly to myself. Why could he possibly call? ugh. I know he didn't dial me by accident cuz hasn't happened in 2 yrs. doubt he still has me in his phone. Why do I feel so stressed out and nervous about him calling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nature Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 PS...we broke up because we'd been together 4 years (engaged for 2 of them) and he started going out partying all the time, blowing me off, etc...ie. cold feet. He said he couldn't handle it. He's 43 years old now. Not a kid we're talking about! Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 It males me laugh when dumpers contact YEARS later. WTF? And they make out that we're crazy to everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
Author nature Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Yes Sugarcane. Every ex I've ever had has contacted me years later, even when I was the dumper. I just don't know why this guy. He said I'd never hear from him again when I told him 2 years ago that it wasn't working trying to stay friends and that I couldn't be his friend. He's had a girlfriend pretty much from that moment on. Just saw them together 2 wks ago. he is not one to play around, so I don't get it. I'm out west so it was early here, so I know it wasn't a booty call, and he knows he'd never get that from me. It's just confusing. Made me feel sick it drudged up emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
neghitzbrah Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Maybe he called you by accident? Either way, if he had the balls he would leave a voicemail. Another reason why you should not waste you time thinking about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nature Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Thank you Neghitz.... I don't think it was by accident because it hasn't happened once in two years, and i doubt he still has my number in his phone. But you have answered something for me that I have been considering....why did he not leave a message. You are right. That is what has bothered me. If he left a msg and I could sense the tone in his voice, or why he was calling, I might feel up to calling him back. But no message means nothing i guess. Thanks so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Rorschach64 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 People say a lot of crazy crap during a break, a lot of crazy huge crap. Later down the line the whole thing randomly pops back in to their mind because of x y z and wa-la they come back out of curiosity or guilt or selfishness. As why your ex-fiancee called, does it matter? Does it REALLY matter nature? I don't think it does and there is nothing to look in to unless he is saying "I made mistake" blah blah, just treat it as if nothing ever happened to the best of your ability and don't contact him Link to post Share on other sites
neghitzbrah Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 No problem. I want to share something with you from a guy's perspective. If I really want something, I will go for it regardless of how hurt I might get. I don't look at missed opportunities as a loss... it's how my heart tells my brain that I didn't really want it. Everytime I have chased a girl and stopped, it was for a reason. I'm too stubborn to realize this until later on, but it happened for a reason. So take this as a reason for you not to care. Plus if he really wanted you he would show up at your doorstep, not as a missed call. You're worth more than a phone call after 2 years, hun Link to post Share on other sites
Author nature Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Neghitz and Rorsch....thank you both so much. You both just said to me what I think I've been wanting to say to myself. Thank you both. I so appreciate your viewpoints and hearing it from a man's perspective. You are both so right. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 From experience probably to feed you breadcrumbs/ use you as a booty call or general mind f@@k? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nature Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Sugarkane, thanks. I honestly don't believe it was for a booty call, as he knows very well he wouldn't get that from me. But maybe the mind f*ck thing or to feed me crumbs. Seems strange to do that out of left field after no contact for 2 yrs tho. Thx. Link to post Share on other sites
TheVSilent Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Maybe he just misses you, I mean, I still miss my ex, I don't contact her because she ignores me, but I've been working on myself and have really became a better person. Maybe the same has happend for him, who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nature Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 VSilent, maybe? He could i guess. We had something pretty darn fabulous for quite a few years. However, he has made no contact in 2 years, has had a girlfriend and currently still does I believe, as i saw them from a distance just 2 weeks ago. Therefore, it never occurred to me that he might actually miss me. I just assumed he hates me because I told him I couldn't continue being his friend and we weren't compatible as friends after we had such love. He did not take this well and told me i'd never here from him again, and if ever i've driven past him he's looked the other way in an obvious way so for me to notice. So I was just take a little off guard and baffled why he would phone. Anyhow. Link to post Share on other sites
Wesker Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Perhaps he actually did want to talk to you, but wasn't sure if your number was still active? Kinda like a test ring. Knowing it still works, and hear your voice mail message might have him call back, and actually leave a message; if you don't pick up. After this much time, I wouldn't pay much attention to any of these mind games. If he really wanted to talk, he'll make more of an effort. I wonder what I would do if my ex of 8 years would contact me after a long time has passed. I guess if that day comes, I'll decide then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nature Posted October 8, 2011 Author Share Posted October 8, 2011 Thanks Wesker. You've confirmed to me what I've been feeling inside. If he really wanted to talk he'd call back. Besides, the only reason I knew he called was I was home and heard the phone so looked at the call display. If I'd been out, I wouldn't have come home and looked at it, as I don't ever think to do that. I just check for messages, and since he didn't leave one, I wouldn't have even known he called. I agree with you. Thx! Link to post Share on other sites
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