Worried about roles of my partner's ex's

[djfunnyboi79]

Hi there everyone

 

I've been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for just over 2 years but lately I am beginning to doubt if we can go the distance. This is for a number of reasons.

 

Firstly, we are in a gay relationship. He used to be married to a woman and has two kids with her, well I say kids but they're 17 and 21 now so pretty much grown up but still in full time education. The woman has met a new partner but he doesn't live with her and to be honest doesn't show any signs of wanting to.....worrying as they have been dating for over 3 years. I think there are a few reasons for this. My partner is paying his wife (they are not currently divorced) maintenance money, but way over what I think he should be paying - £1200 monthly. He pays for luxuries such as a full Sky TV package and he doesn't even live in the house anymore. He pays every single bill and even pays for the TV licence. His wife only pays for herself and in the past the two boys but one isn't even living there anymore as he is at university and the other will go to university next year. She only works part time too. I know he left her and it must have been hurtful, but it was over 5 years ago and he is really struggling financially right now. I've asked him to reduce the payments but he says it's none of my business what he pays her. I think this is unfair as it ultimately has an effect on us monthly. He pays me rent and pays towards my bills so there's nothing wrong on that score, I just don't like to see him struggle. That's why I think his wife's current partner won't move in as I think they'll know those payments would almost certainly stop or reduce. I think it's very unfair.

 

Also, he is in regular touch with his ex bf....the one he left his wife for. I know they had a nasty break-up and I don't care much for this ex bf. I think he uses my partner when he wants him but my partner always lets him...that worries me a bit too. I did voice an opinion last year that I was worried about how much he was in touch with his ex and it stopped for a while. But during a recent argument he told me that the only reason he doesn't see his ex anymore is because I've made him feel awkward about it and in fact he is going to meet him in the next few weeks and help him move house. This might even involve an overnight stay, something I know I'll stuggle with. I trust him but I'm pretty insecure and this kind of stuff worries me.

 

Am I being paranoid about both situations? It just seems my partner has a general problem with moving on - and it is causing problems in our relationship. Please help.

 

D