whenitsmyturn Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Hi, I have been in an on and off relationship for almost three years now, but this last time that we got back together I told him I would only get back together if he saw me with him in the future, and he claimed yes, so we got back together, and talk of marriage came up, (Oh yeah he is a divorcee) and now he is telling me that he is not sure if he wants to get married again, so I had a talk with him and told him that I know what I want and I want to get married and have a family again,and I am not getting any younger and if he didn't want the same as me then we are wasting our time, (we both have children from our previous relationships), his response was that he loves me and we should keep building our relationship, and not to talk about it again. I don't know what to do? I don't want to waste my time if we are not going to take the next step, but I love him and enjoy what we so far...Please help me! any comments would good. thx. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Perhaps you should have told him you wanted to eventually marry before you moved in with him. At least you could have saved a lot of money on the move. At least he is being honest with you and not leading you down a false road. He has stated what he wants so the ball is in your court. If you are of a certain age and want more kids and matrimony, move out now and not waste anymore of your time. When you say you want a family again - I don't understand, don't you still have a family? Link to post Share on other sites
Author whenitsmyturn Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Hi thank you for your response, we actually don't live together, ( I already did the living together with my previous relatioship) and I don't want that again, we both have separate places we just go back and forth, what I mean by family is I would like to go home to my husband, child....every night, but you are right he is not leading me on and its up to me if I want to stay in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I think that you gave a half-ultimatum. You said that you know what you want - marriage - or you were both wasting your time. He said he did not want marriage. So your only real option is to give up on marriage or to break up. Wasting one's time is a terrible thing to commit to; you only get the one life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whenitsmyturn Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Hi, thank you for your input, I guess I have some thinking to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whenitsmyturn Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 So I decided to break up with him, he was acting weird on me not calling me, telling me he was going to call me and wouldn't so actually he actually made my decision a little easier for me...so since he wouldn't answer my calls or texts I had to do it via email. I asked him not to contact me, I am hoping he doesn't. I know its going to be hard, but hoping to move on with my life, am sorry I just had to vent over here, I don't have anyone to talk about this. thanks feel free to write back if you have any comments regarding my post. Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I think you made the right choice given what happened, whenitsmyturn. Link to post Share on other sites
CocoaBrown Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 So I decided to break up with him, he was acting weird on me not calling me, telling me he was going to call me and wouldn't so actually he actually made my decision a little easier for me...so since he wouldn't answer my calls or texts I had to do it via email. I asked him not to contact me, I am hoping he doesn't. I know its going to be hard, but hoping to move on with my life, am sorry I just had to vent over here, I don't have anyone to talk about this. thanks feel free to write back if you have any comments regarding my post. SMART WOMAN!! Sooooooooooo many people waste their time (and lives) on dead end relationships. Yes it's going to be hard....especially when and if he contacts you....but stay strong girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Author whenitsmyturn Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 SMART WOMAN!! Sooooooooooo many people waste their time (and lives) on dead end relationships. Yes it's going to be hard....especially when and if he contacts you....but stay strong girl! Uggh, He contacted me over the weekend, he send me an email to call him asap that it was very important, to find out he just did that cause he wanted to talk....so we talked and he flipped it on me....saying that I am confused... I told him no that I knew what I wanted but that he was the one that wasn't ready, He told me he also knew what he wanted, but wouldn't say it...He basically told me for us to take it one day at a time and that he wants peace, I told him that he either is with me or not...Help I don't know what to do...I know he won't stop contacting me. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Of course he doesn't want to stop seeing you. He is also very attached to you. But, you have told him you want marriage and he hasn't said I can see that also. What other choice do you have but to breakup? What does he expect you to do? Forgo what you want and give in to him (which is to date forever?) BTW, one day at a time could take years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whenitsmyturn Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 I know...you are absolutely right...I have to remain strong Link to post Share on other sites
calla Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 The email made him panic because even though he doesn't want to get married, he still wants to be with you. Getting married seems to scare him. Wouldn't you rather be married to someone who wants it as much as you do? If he gave in and got married because he doesn't want to lose you, there is a big chance it will affect your relationship in future. Link to post Share on other sites
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