poet1279 Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 Hello forum.... I dont know where..to start..And I feel funny letting my business out like so. Ive been dating my g/f for 3 yrs...and we havent had one of the greatest relationships... TOns of things...have came between us..but we still seem to be together. We met when I just turnd 21...and now we are both 24...anyways. Because of our fields., college, and distance we have been through hoops. Last year, around november I had an awakening...for all the stuff that I went through with this Girl...I truly felt in my heart no doubt..She is the other half of my heart. And when it seemed like I started showing how much I trluy adored her...THings fell apart. I think solely because of my gulity consciouse. I havent been the best boyfriend...at all. I admit it to myself. I am very flirtatious...but faithful. Lots of Girl-friends...I used to be solely into my field..and taking care of business...and trying make my future succesful. And while I didnt think I gave the attention my g/f needed I didnt realize it. Till one day it hit me. So I started trying my best to help with groceries...(shes in school). Telling her I loved her more and etc..And I think because of How I used to be...and what i wanted to change. I became more paranoid that she would leave. SO I became extremely jealous at times...accused her of things...And flat out left because we were falling apart...and it hurt to endure it thinking that it was over between us. Each time...it seems like we have always managed to be by each other side and smiling. At least she does... To make a long story short..THings that I did in the past...seem like they are coming back on me. And the situation is reversed. and I tell her sometimes..I feel what it is to be on the other foot... I suspect she is cheating. I feel insecure sometimes I feel like Im ignored. I feel like Im distant. I think someone else is there.......... ---THings that I remember or...I guess the way she felt. in our past Funny thing is I prayed on it..and said for all the things Ive put her thru...and I love her. Im willing to accept if she was to lie to me, cheat on me, push me to the side, or flat out dont care sometimes...I wont stoop as low as to say a doormat.-but Ive be Cuz I am guilty of some parts...intentionally and unintentionallly... And...I love this girl with my soul. that I have become someone else...--recently we have been getting back to where we were...We broke up for a month and a half. -- I dont want to get played...yet, I accept it if it's happening. and because of things I am aware of games people play, etc...I get so paranoid at times...I think over nothing And I am trying to change....I want to be a better man. And have this woman in my life. So my questions are: Q: When you are with someone...and open to your mistakes with you SO is this an open door for someone to misuse these feelings? Q: All on these forums are millions of (I am getting cheated on, or my relationship is sour) are there any Optimistic or Good stories that evolved from bad situations. Q: Is there any other man: Who realized his mistakes in his life...especially with SO and tries to change them. Q: I understand marriages or relationships that have been 9,10....etc years are rare nowadays..---has anyone been through a lost of trust, lost of respect, or sour relationship that turned out right. I am being patient...Trying to work on my trust issues and all--I guess Im just scared to lose her. Thanks for listening Poet Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 Q: When you are with someone...and open to your mistakes with you SO is this an open door for someone to misuse these feelings? Absolutely--in fact, communication is most critical. You don't belong in a relationship with someone whom you can't trust to handle your feelings, and communicate theirs in a responsible way. Q: All on these forums are millions of (I am getting cheated on, or my relationship is sour) are there any Optimistic or Good stories that evolved from bad situations. Think about your demographic, few people with optimistic stories and wonderful relationships post on a forum designed for their opposites. Q: Is there any other man: Who realized his mistakes in his life...especially with SO and tries to change them. Sure, but there's a lot of women who wouldn't accept that resolution, and a lot of relationships that aren't worth saving. Q: I understand marriages or relationships that have been 9,10....etc years are rare nowadays..---has anyone been through a lost of trust, lost of respect, or sour relationship that turned out right. Other people's empiricism won't help you. You've made mistakes, and the worst part is, you feel so guilty about them that you can't communicate now, even though you have legitimate issues with her. You don't need to be her doormat to win her back, you need to take a risk and try to function as a healthy couple on equal footing, working through your issues mutually. The reason you're not standing up for yourself is because you're afraid of it not working out. Stop that, you're selling yourself short by holding on to something you know has a strong possibility of failing--and at what cost? Is the payoff really that great that you can accept this for a long period of time? I think you're more attached to the idea of the relationship, instead of actually practicing it. Bottom line, work it out, make sure she's on board too, or move on--I'm not claiming it's easy, just mandatory. Link to post Share on other sites
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