Best friend v's boyfriend

[Friend troubles]

I have a major problem my best friend and my boyfriend HATE each other. They do not get along. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have known my friend for 4 years. My friend cannot come to visit and she cant call - my boyfriend gets really mad, and starts ranting and raving. She tells me every time that I should get rid of him. They are both giving me the s***s - but I love them both. The problem is that they are exactly the same personalities and they clash !!

 

What do I do ???

[Tony T]

It is absolutely baffling to me that two sane, civilized, educated human beings can't at least get along on a superficial level for short periods of time. They don't have to be buddies but surely there has got to be a point where they can tolerate each other. The situation you describe is just plain nuts.

 

You could find out what kinds of treats each likes...and when they say something nice to each other, you could give them a treat. All kidding aside, you should get the two of them together and explain what rational, civilized behavior is and ask them to tolerate each other for your sake if they care anything about you. Again, they don't have to be buddies or friends, just tolerate each other.

 

There has to be some compelling reason for this problem It could be jealously of your time...or a personality clash. Nevertheless, if man was able to get to the moon and back safely three times...and can invent jet engines that lift tons of people are cargo high into the air...and discover cures for many fatal diseases, I just think your boyfriend and your girlfriend should be able to tolerate each other.

 

If they have the same personality, getting along should be all the easier.

 

Remind them that they are not children anymore.

[Taressa]

When we hate it's easy to lose sight of the important things in life. This time the important thing in their life is you.

 

Talk to them and explain the strain and hurt that their immaturity is putting on you. You have a history of strong love and friendship with them; I'm betting they'll come around and put on their best behavior to save the relationship with you.

 

Best wishes for peaceful sailing ahead.

[Jenna]

If your boyfriend and best friend love YOU- as you love them- they will be willing to come to an agreement about how to be around each other. They are being extremely selfish in their actions. Neither one of them are thinking about your feelings- and of all the people in the world- they are the TWO that should!!

 

Find out if something has happened to make one or both of them angry at the other. Once you rule out this possibility- get them together- and tell them how they are making you feel- that you love them both- and you don't want to have to choose- and don't intend to be forced into making a choice.

 

Good Luck- and let us know how it turns out. Jenna

It is absolutely baffling to me that two sane, civilized, educated human beings can't at least get along on a superficial level for short periods of time. They don't have to be buddies but surely there has got to be a point where they can tolerate each other. The situation you describe is just plain nuts. You could find out what kinds of treats each likes...and when they say something nice to each other, you could give them a treat. All kidding aside, you should get the two of them together and explain what rational, civilized behavior is and ask them to tolerate each other for your sake if they care anything about you. Again, they don't have to be buddies or friends, just tolerate each other. There has to be some compelling reason for this problem It could be jealously of your time...or a personality clash. Nevertheless, if man was able to get to the moon and back safely three times...and can invent jet engines that lift tons of people are cargo high into the air...and discover cures for many fatal diseases, I just think your boyfriend and your girlfriend should be able to tolerate each other. If they have the same personality, getting along should be all the easier. Remind them that they are not children anymore.