Obesity is gonna kill me, but I'm still unmotivated...

[fallenheart]

About a year ago I hit 300 pounds and freaked out, VOWING this time to really lose the weight.

 

I didn't.

 

I still have all my bad habits. I overeat constantly. Really bad fatty greasy foods. I never exercise. I drink alcohol in excess.

 

I sometimes wake up gasping from sleep apnea. My snoring can wake the dead.

 

I'm 34 years old, 6 feet tall and weigh OVER 300 pounds.

 

I am a dead man walking. Makes sense right? So why am I in denial of something everyone around me can probably see.

 

In other words...what will it take for me to REALLY find the motivation to save my life? A heart attack? By then it might be too late.

 

Just now I went for a simple bike ride. I got back gasping for breath, red faced, heart palpitating outta my chest like a jackhammer. These are signs like a slap in the face right?

 

The weight gain is so gradual...I never realized I AM that fat. I always thought I was just a little big...but when I catch my reflection from the side or see a picture of myself, I'm horrified....when did I become a flat-out obese person? It's disgusting. I have blisters all around my waist cause all my clothes are too tight.

 

I'm fairly sure I've felt like this before, decided enough was enough and started dieting and exercising and was back into my old habits in a matter of months, weeks, days, or even hours.

 

I have read HUNDREDS of incredible inspirational stories online. People that really DID change their lives. I've also read snide remarks from skinny people about how "easy" it is to lose weight. F them. I don't want to hear that. It's NOT easy.

 

So I guess I'm looking for the motivation to basically save my life...keep myself alive. Surely some of you must have hit that point of no return....the straw that broke the camel's back....have I hit it yet or not?

 

Or does all of this sound like a guy that loves food so much that he'd rather die young and fat and slovenly rather than give up pizza and fried chicken?

 

I just feel HOPELESS. I feel like there is no way I will ever be able to lose the weight, so why should I bother? Why fight a battle I've already lost??

 

One thing I DO know...nobody can change me or help me except myself. But haven't I proven by now that I'm incapable of doing that?

 

Has anyone ever felt as hopeless and me and still managed to find the strength within to change??

[Dust]

I feel the same way you do about different things. I think the key is if you start down a path and change your mind set you win right there. It's not about loosing the weight or keeping it off. It's about knowing your trying instead of just letting life happen.

[norajane]

Baby steps. Small goals, little victories, they add up to something that, eventually, helps you climb out of the hopeless hole.

 

Good luck to you.

[Feelin Frisky]

You probably need to change your settings abruptly. Can you go somewhere for a while and try to leave your habits behind for the duration? Any alternatives to get you out of the environment you're living in? It's extremely hard to change yourself in place when you have been out of control in that place for quite a while. Sometimes external things change that can help--like the coming of a new love interest or a change in jobs that provide new visibility where you'd want to show up looking better. But when those things aren't out there, you have to find some way to change the scene. At minimum you could join a health club and start a walking regimen. Try to institute a life-style of planned meals so that you're not caught in the moment entertaining what you "feel like" eating.

 

Change is a "threshold" which doesn't need to be permanent. You can change your eating habits in a threshold of a couple of weeks after which you will have disconnected yourself with the person you have been. This is a way of seeing change as less immense and more doable. Good luck and don't give up.

[mike111]

About a year ago I hit 300 pounds and freaked out, VOWING this time to really lose the weight.

 

I didn't.

 

I still have all my bad habits. I overeat constantly. Really bad fatty greasy foods. I never exercise. I drink alcohol in excess.

 

I sometimes wake up gasping from sleep apnea. My snoring can wake the dead.

 

I'm 34 years old, 6 feet tall and weigh OVER 300 pounds.

 

You seriously need to get in to see your family doctor, first of all. And get some advice and help from him. It's not going to be easy to deal with all these addictions at once. But it is doable! Try for it!

[Dust]

You seriously need to get in to see your family doctor, first of all. And get some advice and help from him. It's not going to be easy to deal with all these addictions at once. But it is doable! Try for it!

 

A doctor will just tell him he's diabetic and try to put him on medicine. Doctors help make the nutrion pyramid which serves the fatiest nutritionless food in schools and hospitals.

[FitChick]

with Dr. Joe Vitale who lost a lot of weight using Morty Lefkoe's method. Quite impressive.

[betterdeal]

I want you to win this battle, and you can win it.

 

You're comfort eating and self-medicating with booze. It's a vicious cycle: feel crap, comfort eat / drink provides temporary relief but compounds you problems; so you rinse and repeat.

 

First, get some new clothes that fit. Elasticated waistbands are a good idea. Taking this cause of suffering away will help you remember what it feels like to not be in pain, and reduce the reasons you over-consume. Applaud yourself for taking this positive step.

 

Second, what are your bowel movements like? I bet you're constipated a lot of the time and your crapping isn't anywhere as good as it used to be, right? You need more fibre and water in your diet. Drink 2 litres of water a day, and add breakfast cereal to your diet. Not one of those high sugar kiddies ones, a proper one like Cornflakes will do.

 

Third, use soya milk instead of cows milk on your cereal.

 

Fourth, eat a bowl of natural yoghurt and fruit each day. Sliced apple and grapes is a good one to mix in. More fibre, vitamins and the bacteria in the yoghurt can help your digestive system.

 

Fifth, whenever you get the urge to eat, ask yourself, am I hungry or is there something I'm trying to avoid?

 

Sixth, add a multivitamin to your diet.

 

Aim to reduce the already prepared food and start making your own food from basic ingredients. Get a good cookbook and get into cooking. Less Meat More Veg is a great one to get you started.

 

Good luck!

[josie54]

I would suggest forgetting about the fact that you need to "LOSE THE WEIGHT." From the sound of your post, just the thought if that defeats you, and you won't be able to continue on any path you start.

 

Instead, look for the easiest change you can make that would better your health. Look for something really stupid in your daily habits that you do, but you know you could live without. Maybe it's drinking soda instead of water, or maybe it's taking five minutes to walk to the end of your block and back once a day. Maybe it's taking a multivitamin every day like the previous poster said.

 

Or, maybe it's not changing a single thing you already do, but adding something else on top of what you already do--maybe you say you'll eat one piece of fruit a day. Or you'll drink one glass of water before you eat dinner. Or, when you have the greasy food, maybe you set the goal to eat a serving of vegetables with that pizza or burger. You wouldn't have to change anything else, but just complete that one thing.

 

Make just ONE change and set the goal to stick with it for 30 days. If you fail on that change, start over and try it again. Again, make it small and manageable.

 

Because once you've made that single change and stuck with it for 30 days, you'll know you have the ability to set a goal and accomplish it. And then, you'll add one more healthy change to your life and do THAT one for 30 days.

 

Every healthy change you accomplish will make you feel better about yourself, I promise. And, once you master one or two goals like this, I will bet you'll also feel much stronger, and ready to take your life back in larger ways. It's about baby steps, not trying to do it all at once.

 

Good luck.

[thatone]

you're right, it does sneak up on you. i was 6'0" 220 pounds coming out of high school, and pretty active. moved in with my dad in new orleans to go to college. well what they say about new orleans is true, people sit at their lunch table debating about where they're gonna eat dinner. it's a culture, well beyond just eating to stay alive.

 

8-10 pounds a year, 10 years later and i wake up one day damn near 300 myself. at about 295 i recognized the fluid building around my feet, and poor circulation. since i've seen someone die from untreated diabetes (and he did have to have his feet cut off before he died) that was my motivation. i'm not gonna go like that.

 

that was about 6 years ago, since then i have lost about 50 pounds, and am working gradually on the other 30.

 

i drink too, i just don't drink sugary drinks. when i'm out, i drink scotch since the only thing you would mix it with is water. when i'm home, i like crown/7 so i mix it with diet 7 up.

 

i'm limited on the exercise i can do because of a bad knee (dislocated it entirely twice and damaged the knee cap another time, there's no damage that surgery can fix but the tendons/ligaments are stretched, they don't go back, so i won't ever be a runner or lift weight on that knee). but everyone can walk 2-3 miles a day, you just have to start doing it and stick with it. so what if you have to take a break every half mile when you start. do it, go walk around the park EVERY day.

 

there's a diet everyone can stick to out there, just find one that works. for me, being a meat eater, the atkins thing was easy for me. that's what put the weight on me more than anything else, bread and white vegetables. people in new orleans have never seen an onion or bowl of rice they didn't like, and every restaurant you sit down in brings a whole loaf of fresh french bread to the table like a restaurant in any other city brings everyone a glass of water. you don't even pay for it, they just give it to you.

 

for me, once i got into the first two-three weeks of the routine of the diet when i started it, it was easy. your appetite WILL go down when you get into the groove and find one that works for you. these days i have to remind myself to eat, i'm just not as hungry as i once was, and hinder my losing the last 30 pounds by not eating enough, subconsciously.

[Madman81]

There's an argument for eating healthy 6 days a week (keep out processed carbs and sugars, and starchy vegetables like carrots, potatoes and corn), and then having one day per week as your "cheat day" where you eat whatever you want. That way if you crave pizza or cheeseburgers, you know you only have to wait a few days to be able to eat them -- which is a lot easier to deal with than having to tell yourself you won't be able to have them again.

[Eddie Edirol]

I had to find out that its too diffucult to change your whole diet overnight. So you do it one meal at a time.

 

First you adjust to eating 5-6 small meals, that way your body will process the foods faster.

 

Then you start replacing one meal a day (or week) with healthier food. Instead of a greasy food, make a whole wheat turkey sandwich. next week, replace the pizza with a real banana shake. Its all about adjusting to the change slowly, and what this did for me was to almost eliminate my urges for popeyes. That way once I started seeing that I was gaining more energy from the better foods, popeyes didnt taste so good anymore when I had it on a cheat day.

[AHardDaysNight]

There are some simple things you can do to lose weight:

 

1. Cut out ALL junk food. This includes soda, McDonalds/fast food, pizza, ice cream, chips, etc.

2. Get plenty of sleep.

3. Limit the amount of coffee you drink, and drink it black (if you do drink it.)

4. Drink mostly water. Not fruit juice, not iced tea. Water.

5. Get at least some exercise.

 

Back in April, I weighed 220. I just weighed myself a second ago, and I was 207.8. I've gone on a diet, stopped drinking soda, stopped coffee creamer, and increased my exercise and sleep. Coincidence? I think not!

 

You could easily drop 40 pounds, by cutting out junk food and soda. And the rest can be worked off with exercise. You don't have to limit yourself, man!

[gaius]

I think just looking in the mirror naked at 300 pounds should be enough to motivate you. It really does sound like you're just ready to die.

 

Any idea why? How's your personal/professional life?

[thatone]

There's an argument for eating healthy 6 days a week (keep out processed carbs and sugars, and starchy vegetables like carrots, potatoes and corn), and then having one day per week as your "cheat day" where you eat whatever you want. That way if you crave pizza or cheeseburgers, you know you only have to wait a few days to be able to eat them -- which is a lot easier to deal with than having to tell yourself you won't be able to have them again.

 

i've heard that argument and tried it, and it worked when i tried it. after getting down within 20-30 pounds of what you're shooting for naturally the loss will slow down. but i find that if i eat whatever on a sunday then go back and start the diet again on monday, 3 or 4 more pounds fly off very quickly.

[ON MY OWN]

About a year ago I hit 300 pounds and freaked out, VOWING this time to really lose the weight.

 

I didn't.

 

I still have all my bad habits. I overeat constantly. Really bad fatty greasy foods. I never exercise. I drink alcohol in excess.

 

I sometimes wake up gasping from sleep apnea. My snoring can wake the dead.

 

I'm 34 years old, 6 feet tall and weigh OVER 300 pounds.

 

I am a dead man walking. Makes sense right? So why am I in denial of something everyone around me can probably see.

 

In other words...what will it take for me to REALLY find the motivation to save my life? A heart attack? By then it might be too late.

 

Just now I went for a simple bike ride. I got back gasping for breath, red faced, heart palpitating outta my chest like a jackhammer. These are signs like a slap in the face right?

 

The weight gain is so gradual...I never realized I AM that fat. I always thought I was just a little big...but when I catch my reflection from the side or see a picture of myself, I'm horrified....when did I become a flat-out obese person? It's disgusting. I have blisters all around my waist cause all my clothes are too tight.

 

I'm fairly sure I've felt like this before, decided enough was enough and started dieting and exercising and was back into my old habits in a matter of months, weeks, days, or even hours.

 

I have read HUNDREDS of incredible inspirational stories online. People that really DID change their lives. I've also read snide remarks from skinny people about how "easy" it is to lose weight. F them. I don't want to hear that. It's NOT easy.

 

So I guess I'm looking for the motivation to basically save my life...keep myself alive. Surely some of you must have hit that point of no return....the straw that broke the camel's back....have I hit it yet or not?

 

Or does all of this sound like a guy that loves food so much that he'd rather die young and fat and slovenly rather than give up pizza and fried chicken?

 

I just feel HOPELESS. I feel like there is no way I will ever be able to lose the weight, so why should I bother? Why fight a battle I've already lost??

 

One thing I DO know...nobody can change me or help me except myself. But haven't I proven by now that I'm incapable of doing that?

 

Has anyone ever felt as hopeless and me and still managed to find the strength within to change??

 

How are you doing?

[fallenheart]

same as when I started the thread. still overeating. still hate the sight of myself when I catch my reflection. but resigned to it I suppose, since I obviously have no desire or will power to change. It's simply not within the realm of possibility.

[shayla]

There's an argument for eating healthy 6 days a week (keep out processed carbs and sugars, and starchy vegetables like carrots, potatoes and corn), and then having one day per week as your "cheat day" where you eat whatever you want. That way if you crave pizza or cheeseburgers, you know you only have to wait a few days to be able to eat them -- which is a lot easier to deal with than having to tell yourself you won't be able to have them again.

 

 

I did this and it worked! During the week, I'd eat steamed chicken, baked chicken or fish, with alot of vegetables and either a couple of small red potatoes, or a little rice. Then on Sunday I'd have a big steak, or a small pizza, whatever I had the taste for, and I never felt deprived at all. It was something to look forward to.

 

I could barely walk, but I'd walk up and down the driveway until I could go farther. Once you begin getting used to this, you will want to do more and more. You will look up and realize that you are one of those people living an active lifestyle. And that is the key. These changes are for life.

 

Good luck

[betterdeal]

Are you willing to try making one small change? How about eating some natural yoghurt in the morning with some fruit and a little honey. No other changes. Just make that change. See if you can do it 3 days in the next week.

[Dawnster]

Those thoughts that tell you it will never work after years of trying; I'm not going to tell you to ignore them, but what I am going to ask is for you to think of all of the things that trigger those thoughts. Where and when it all started. Really look into the relationships you've had with everyone and everything. Find what triggers your sadness and your doubts in life, and try to figure them out. To solve them.

 

I'm not sure if I'm wording it quite correctly but it sounds more to me like you're depressed. Depression can make everything in life more difficult, or more impossible. I'm not a big fan of psychiatry myself but perhaps you may try to visit one? If you'd rather not see one I recommend pretty much what many others have: Try to think for yourself in life, stand up for yourself in moments when stressors outside of weight issues are weighing you down. Start on the real issues that may be behind all the stress that triggers the weight gain. Not just ignoring them or trying to let the problems pass, it doesn't work, I've been going through depression myself, as has my overweight mom, and we've both found that by trying to improve or think more positive and be more active, one day at a time, focus on ANYTHING positive you've done, anything, and congratulate yourself for it, just feel better about it. Keep going with it. Because if it really is life or death, and all we may or may not have is this one life, what's the point of not trying to live it?

 

I'm sure there are people that care about you as well, a lot, whether you realize it or not, and that gives all the more reason to stick around, to me.. unless you think they're all just a bunch of numbnuts and want to give up, then your prob is that you just need to start hanging out with different people. Ah, I tried to make this short but I sort of kept going, point being, try to emotionally help yourself before the physical. Again, hit those negative thoughts right where it hurts. >:3 heh.

[HollieChan]

A healthy diet and lifestyle are your best weapons to fight cardiovascular disease. It's not as hard as you may think! Remember, it's the overall ..

[HollieChan]

A healthy diet and lifestyle are your best weapons to fight cardiovascular disease. It's not as hard as you may think! Remember, it's the overall ..

[AHardDaysNight]

Have you tried joining Weight Watchers, or Tops?

 

Those are some good programs to join.

[ON MY OWN]

same as when I started the thread. still overeating. still hate the sight of myself when I catch my reflection. but resigned to it I suppose, since I obviously have no desire or will power to change. It's simply not within the realm of possibility.

If there is something you can muster up inside you, however little, build on it. Some things are making a list of positive things about yourself, staying away from what you are unhappy about yourself, i.e., nice eyes, hair, good communicator, etc....I am sure you have atleast 5 or more. Focus on the good parts. The good start is you cared enough to type this out. Can you afford a personal trainer 2 or 3 days a week, they are very motivating and hold you accountable. I found them to be really great and noticed overall improvement in my body. Subscribing to a fitness magazine may help....look for motivation builders, however small and build on it. I am here and hope to communicate with you some more. I dont think you dont care, I think you are exhausted physically/emotionally. It takes its toll, believe me.

[Laziaf]

I'll share you some motivation please read and I hope it help you a little..

 

"Losing weight is hard, but it’s harder trying to keep on track. The whole reason why people get off track is that they allow themselves to give in to temptations to let themselves down. It always starts with “Well, I’ll have only one bit”, and then it ends up to be “I can’t believe I’ve GAINED weight”. It always starts with something small and then it can turn into something so much more. When it comes to losing weight, you need to find out ways that you can keep yourself motivated.

 

The first thing that you need to do is motivate yourself to lose the weight. You don’t want to feel bad about the weight, but you want to come up with reasons why you think you need to lose the weight. Once you have made a list you will want to put it on the fridge or somewhere safe so that you can come back to the list periodically. You will want to refer back to the list if you have new reasons or if you need to knock a reason off the list. However, the point of the list is to keep the motivation. When you feel the need to eat a donut or have some added calories, you may want to come back to the note and take a good, long look at the note. It will keep you on the right path so that you can stick with the diet and the exercise plan.

 

Not knowing what is worse the dieting or exercising, you may want to think about getting the added support to keep your motivation going so that you can achieve all of your goals. Basically, if you find it harder to get right you may want to get a support buddy to help you with the dieting. However, if it is the exercising that you need an added push for, you may want to think about asking someone to go to the gym with you or to help you stay on track through various activities. With a buddy you are going to be more likely to stick with it. You are also going to be more likely to push yourself. However, don’t allow the person’s results discourage you. Everyone loses weight at a different weight and when they have hit a plateau you will still be losing the weight.

 

The second tip is to mark down exactly the process that you hope to have through out the diet. Take it just a month at a time and mark down just how much weigh you would like to lose a week. It is recommended that you place a high number for the first week, three or four pounds, but then for the remainder of the weeks you will want to have your goal as one or two pounds. Remember, it may not have taken you that long to gain the weight but it does take months and even years to lose it. When it comes to losing weight it is something that is going to be life changing. If you do not set yourself with high goals, then you won’t lose motivation quickly.

 

The third tip is reflection. To keep your motivation going, you have to think about how far you have come and how close you are to your goal. You will notice a lot of encouragement and motivation through the map, but you will also find motivation in knowing that you can do it. You will start seeing results and you will find it easier for you to eat healthy or to continue the workouts. However, the moment that you lose or gain weight, you may end up a little discouraged. At some point, everyone will begin to gain weight. You gain the weight because muscle is heavier then fat is. You have to seek motivation through that knowledge and you may need to pamper yourself. Go to the spa or seek some other type of treatment and you will soon find the courage to continue..."

 

http://www.everydaymotivated.blogspot.com, where you can find very good motivation about losing weight..