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Obesity is gonna kill me, but I'm still unmotivated...


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I think I finally found some motivation.

 

My girlfriend of two years just left me. She insists it wasn't cause of the fat, and I tend to believe her cause she DID put up with it for two years after all....but I'm sure it didn't help.

 

So yeah. I wanna lose weight. I wanna lose ALL the weight. I wanna be thin and attractive and get a younger cuter girl and run into my ex in a year and see what that might feel like.

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Fallen, you CAN do it if you really set your mind to it. You just have to decide that enough is enough. I just did it recently with smoking. This Friday will be 7 weeks since I had one. It will be a lifestyle change, but it is one worth making for YOU.

 

I am in the process of trying to get my obese wife to realize and act on that as well.

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I think I finally found some motivation.

 

My girlfriend of two years just left me. She insists it wasn't cause of the fat, and I tend to believe her cause she DID put up with it for two years after all....but I'm sure it didn't help.

 

So yeah. I wanna lose weight. I wanna lose ALL the weight. I wanna be thin and attractive and get a younger cuter girl and run into my ex in a year and see what that might feel like.

 

I see another thing you can do. In a few of your posts, you say that you CAN'T do it. Remove the 'T and say that you CAN do it.

 

I agree with you...it will not be easy. But nothing worth while is generally easy. Many people will tell you different ways of tackling this beast. Some say cut out all junk and start eating healthy and exercising immediately. Others will say to take baby steps. You have to do what works for you. But you need to take that first step. Whether that is going to your doctor for help, going to weightwatchers or going to a gym and meeting with a personal trainer, you need to take that first step. After you have made up your mind that you HAVE to lose weight and CAN lose weight and take the first step towards getting help, half the battle is over. Good luck!

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Someone told me today that I looked slimmer. It's laughable, cause I'm so ridiculously overweight, yet the idea that someone noticed a change in me, however small, is still inspiring.

 

I haven't really eaten as much as I usually do the last 10 days. Some days I wasn't eating anything at all. Just too depressed about losing my girlfriend. Maybe that cutting back has started the process in some way?

 

So how do I START? Obviously, I can't run or jog or do anything physical cause my knees would buckle under me and I'll have a heart attack.

 

Also, I'm allergic to almost all fruits, so fruit is out as a food option.

 

Oh and one more thing...I live in Japan. Available foods are really different here.

 

Anyway, I want to keep it up. If just one person noticed a small change in me without me even trying, if I REALLY try I can lose a lot of weight and EVERYONE will notice! Including my ex-girlfriend someday I hope.

 

Anyway...thanks for reading.

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I'm sure you can find some good nutrition info through google. As far as fitness goes I'd start with trying to go for a walk at least 5 days a week. Start off small and slowly increase the distance and pace. The key is getting exercise ingrained into your routine so that if you miss a workout you actually feel bad about it instead of looking at it like a miserable chore.

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I recently changed my eating habits after a long, long love affair with Coca-Cola. It was almost the only thing I would drink besides coffee. Needless to say I'm about 30 lbs overweight.

 

I made the change because I started experiencing reactive hypoglycemia. The weight loss didn't motivate me, but feeling better did. I didn't want to be caught out somewhere and start sweating and shaking and feeling weak and sick (passed out a couple of times) anymore.

 

Like you, I knew for a long time that I NEEDED to change my habits, but it took the right motivation to make it happen. The major episodes I had caused me to make the change, but studying it taught me that the sugar highs and lows impacted me way more than I thought. The emotional highs and lows are a side effect, the lethargy is a side effect, the difficulty concentrating is a side effect. It was truly impacting my daily life in ways I didn't understand. I knew I was dealing with those things, but didn't know that diet played such a key role.

 

So one important thing I learned in my studies was that once my diet improved my energy level would improve. By putting the right fuel in in the right quantities and at the right times, more energy would be available. It's just a natural side effect of a healthier diet. I personally decided to wait on increasing any excerise until my body had time to adjust to my new eating habits. My body will tell me when it feels good enough to take on more.

 

It's a lifestyle change and I think it's unrealistic to think one day we'll be addicted to junk food and watching TV and the next day we'll be eating healthy and hitting the gym. It's a process in which you're developing new habits. It will take time, and IMO it's best to start out with changes you can manage. Like for me, I haven't touched a coke since my last episode. I couldn't just quit soda altogether and drink water (because I'd fail) so I switched to diet root beer. After about a week of diet drinks, I started craving water so more water went into my diet. Make small changes and add to it as you make progress.

Edited by sadintexas
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Another thing, not eating fruits is not a bad thing. They're very high in sugars. But not eating at all is very unhealthy. You want to increase your metabolism so eating many small meals a day is far better than eating nothing at all.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Loseweightpregnancy

I tried this to be the best way to lose weight without exercise - Park and Walk, Drink Water, Eat More Veggies, Increase the Protein, Take the Stairs, Eat Small Meals. These things will surely cut down your weight. But this should be followed regularly still you satisfy with weight.

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I know opinions are divided about this, but you might consider the Atkins Diet, or a variation of it. To recap, during the early stages, you can eat NO CARBS AT ALL. Vegetables are limited to salad-type things (lettuce, tomatoes, onions, peppers, e.g.). No alcohol or sugar. But on the plus side, you can literally eat all the meat, cheese and eggs you want.

 

A lot of people condemn the Atkins Diet as unhealthy. What they overlook, however, is that you don't stay on it forever. You stay on it in order to kickstart your weight loss, which works by depriving your body of its natural fuel (carbs) and forcing it to get energy from your stored fat.

 

Right now, to you, the idea of dieting sounds like deprivation, period. But the great thing about Atkins is that it's hard to feel deprived when there's a huge steak with bearnaise sauce sitting in front of you -- and you're allowed to eat it all.

 

As you start losing weight, and NOTICING it (people comment on it, your clothes become looser, etc.), your desire to become healthy will get stronger and stronger. You'll be more motivated to exercise, and that exercise will get easier and easier the less weight you're carrying around. And you may not believe this, but it's actually possible to reach a point where you're exercising regularly enough that you actually start to CRAVE exercise, and get twitchy on days when you don't go.

 

You're at the hardest point right now. What you need is a kickstart that wil show you results quickly. In my view, Atkins is the way to go for you.

 

I probably sound like I'm shilling for Atkins, but I'm not. When my marriage ended, I did it, and it worked wonders. I looked better than I had in years. And it certainly helped with the fact that I was newly single and back on the market. :)

 

Hang in there man... you can do this. Many before you have.

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HokeyReligions

No one will understand except those who are or were where you are. It gets more difficult as you get older as well.

 

I am one who understands. A smoker can quit smoking or a drinker can quit drinking, but we need food in order to live. If we could all just stop eating we could better put temptation out of the way. I tried that diet many years ago and under a doctors supervision. Medifast it was called. I saw my doctor every week and bought my liquid food and supplements from him. I lost over 100 pounds. I've since found that 100 pounds and then some.

 

I know the rollercoaster. Once I sat down and figured out all the weight I had lost since my first 'diet' when I was in grade school and it was nearly 1000 pounds! So was the weight I put on during all those years (I'm significantly older than you are).

 

Where I am right now - while I'm working and have insurance, I'm going to see a therapist and am already taking anti-anxiety medicine. I have to get my mind to stop racing and focusing on the negative. Then I can begin to eat healthy. I'm not ready yet myself, but I'm getting there. My first step is to say NO to other people. I have my first appointment with the psychologist next week and I'm really nervous about it. It was one thing to see someone when my marriage was in trouble, but it's almost impossible for me to admit there may be something 'mental' that is holding me back. I'm afraid to find out what it may be. Could that be something that you would consider? Seeing a mental health professional?

 

Every year I make fudge and cookies and all sorts of holiday treats as gifts - in fact, several people return their tins to me each year begging for more fudge! Of course, we have to taste it and test the cookies, etc.

 

This year I'm telling people NO, I'm sorry - but in this economy I cannot afford to do that and I'm not making anything. Just by SAYING that to others I've felt a smidgeon empowered.

 

I still can't get myself moving after work - I'm so emotionally and mentally exhausted I just come home and sit in front of the TV. Yesterday, after dinner and we were watching TV, I sat there and just raised my arms ocer my head and touched my hands together repeatedly for three minutes. I was actually winded after a minute and a half & didn't think I could make 3 minutes! That's how out of shape I am.

 

I took a look at my family history - my mom was what they now call "bi-polar" and my sister & brother also suffered depression. I never thought I was or could be CLINICALLY depressed - that is far different from feeling depressed over specific situations or a general funk over current lifestyles - those kinds of depressions can be overcome without help. Clinical depression is conisdered a 'mental illness' and that carries a HUGE stigma in this society. I've never said all this out loud to anyone, but your story sounds like me when I was your age. I've fought weight my whole life.

 

When I was in the 4th or 5th grade my mom put us on a diet (Yes, I was a chubby kid and have dealth with this my whole life). We lost 10 pounds! Mom brought home a cake to celebrate. thus, the rollercoaster began.

 

My husband was never fat until he broke his leg when he was in High School. He sat around for 8 weeks in a cast, eating, and has battled obesity since. He's had two heartattacks and his health right now is very poor. He's not expected to live much longer and that too is tearing me apart. He's lost 50 pounds and is trying to take care of himself, but his physical ability to do exercise is severly hampered. That did not stop him from buying a pumpking pie at the store Wednesday when I didn't know about it!

 

Only you will know what it will take for YOU. I'm trying to find out what it will take for ME to make a permanent change too. As scared as I am of the therapist, I am hoping she can help me. I do NOT want the thing that makes me change to be the death of my husband.

 

Think about seeing a psychologist and get a doctor's check up too. Start there.

 

Do one positive thing for yourself a day - wash a sink or clean a drain or say no to someone if they ask you to join them for a drink - anything that at the end of the day you can say "I accomplished __________"

 

Good Good Luck with this.

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creighton0123

Listen to the others. First: You need to eat. Most importantly, you need to eat well. That doesn't mean you need to deprive yourself of the foods you enjoy, but save those things for once a week.

 

You live in Japan. Great. Japanese cuisine is quite palatable. They focus heavily on the use of veggies, seafood, lean meats, rice, and soy sauce (among other things) for flavoring. It might take a while to get used to, but your taste buds will become more sensitive when consuming foods others might find rich, but you find bland.

 

It's a good thing that you are allergic to fruit. Fruit is expensive in Japan :-P

 

Anyhow, I digress. It is VERY important that you not deprive yourself food. Caloric deprivation for someone used to consuming so many calories a day can be very, very dangerous. You can become malnourished. You will have trouble walking, trouble thinking clearly, your heart rate will become irregular and you could even go into seizure or shock. All of this can happen even after one day of not eating.

 

I would say that your priorities are simple:

 

1. Water, water, and more water.

2. Consume plenty of healthy foods - fishes, nuts, veggies, simple grains.

3. Exercise at least one hour a day. That does not mean break yourself for an hour or exercise to the point where you're going to collapse. Going for a simple walk will be fine.

4. Treat yourself once a week - this means any food that you are giving up that's high in fat, dairy, or sugar.

 

Do these things and you'll find that your weight will drop steadily over time until you're at a point where you can add more intense exercise to your regular routine.

 

As for motivation... well... a life organizer or fitness coach can help in that area. As for your mental state, don't focus on how much you weigh, but on how much you should weigh. You don't weigh 300 lbs. You're 100 lbs over your ideal weight. At 6'0, 200lbs is not a bad target.

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I weighed 303 lbs two years ago. I've lost 150 in those last 2 years.

 

Let me give it to you straight. Losing weight is INCREDIBLY easy. It's simple math. Calories in < calories out.

 

Finding the motivation to want to do it is the incredibly hard part. What did it for me was realizing that I hated my life with the fire of a thousand suns when I was that big. Sure I had friends and family and lots of things to do to occupy me and on the outside I appeared to have a perfectly normal happy life. On the inside I felt that killing myself with donuts and pizza was a better option than keeping myself alive as that person. I realized something was wrong with that and something had to give.

 

It couldn't get any worse. What did I have to lose by going to the gym a few times a week? Turns out I loved it. I fell in love with cardio. And I loved that week after week i could see my times getting better. So then I changed my eating habits which only made things seem that much better! At this point I have no idea how I even got fat in the first place. Why did I chose to feel like crap all the time when I could feel this good!

 

My advice to you is start slow. Don't put pressure on yourself. Don't listen to the "experts" and their advice. Find a physical activity you like to do and do it to your hearts content. i know how it feels to be huge and depressed. Everything feels like too big of a challenge. Don't make it a challenge. Make it fun. In a short amount of time you'll start seeing results and feeling better about yourself then you'll want to start challenging yourself. Pretty soon you'll be doing things you never dreamed possible. It really is a snow ball effect. The key is getting the ball rolling down the slope.

 

If I can do it, anyone can. I have complete faith in you :)

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I live in Japan. Available foods are really different here.

 

Japan has got to be the easiest place in the world to lose weight. Eat like the Japanese -- fish, vegetables, rice. Eat the same amount they do. Eat with chopsticks because you can only put a tiny bit in your mouth at a time. The Japanese are some of the healthiest people on the planet.

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You wouldn't believe the amounts of food Japanese people can shovel into their mouths using chopsticks!! You also wouldn't believe the greasy fat-laden foods I've come to enjoy here....like deep fried pork or chicken on a bed of rice smothered in delicious oily curry sauce topped with melted cheese!! (katsu-curry)

 

And let's not forget the fact that there is a McDonald's and KFC around every corner, and McDs is sometimes the cheapest option, not that I never needed an excuse to eat there.

 

The rice isn't exactly healthy though. It's white rice. It's processed starches, like french fries. Doesn't seem to make the natives fat but it doesn't help me. I'm gonna stop eating it altogether.

 

I agree with you in theory though...if I could maintain a more traditional Japanese diet with SMALLER PORTIONS then it would probably make a difference. Most foreigners come here and shed weight immediately, cause they are not used to the different food and also the increased amount of daily activity. WALKING to the train station, store, work etc. rather than just sitting in a car all day.

 

I walk and ride my bicycle but I'm obviously shoving far too much bad crap in my face everyday for that minimal amount of exercise to make a difference.

 

I appreciate the responses. It's good to know that I'm not alone and other people understand what a horrible struggle this is every single moment of my life.

 

I'd love to believe it's possible to lose 150 lbs in 2 years like the previous poster....that just sounds like some kind of miracle or fairy tale....hard to believe something so wonderful could happen in real life. My life certainly doesn't work that way.....

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My life certainly doesn't work that way.....

 

...so far.

 

There's all sorts of tricks and techniques you can try to lose weight. One is to spend 20 minutes eating each meal. No less than 20 minutes. Give yourself a decent portion (not a massive one and not a tiny one) and time how long you take to eat it. Slowing down how you eat can help you to feel fuller sooner.

 

Fasting should not be done for more than 24 hours and not more than twice a week for health reasons. Your body may also respond by craving more when you start to eat again to protect itself against the next "famine" period, and as other have said, it can lead to malnourishment.

 

Add a multivitamin to your diet. Often food cravings are for specific micro-nutrients like vitamins or minerals and we're just eating the wrong food to get that Vitamin B12 / Zinc / whatever.

 

Experiment. You're on the right path now! Enjoy getting better!

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