confused7 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I got married 2 years ago...and during the planning stages of the wedding, I was asking my then fiance why he wanted to get married...he replied by saying that I should just call it off. Anyway...our families were really close and we had been together for 5 years already. I didn't want to freak everyone out and hurt everyone by cancelling the wedding, and I thought it was just pre-wedding jitters. So the wedding went on.... A few months later I met a guy, and we had some amazing chemistry. We clicked, it was like electricity between us, and we had so much in common. Anyway...I ended up cheating on my husband. I did NOT have sex with the guy, but I surely cheated. The whole thing exploded when my husband found out about this whole thing. He ended up talking to my brother about it...and this guy told his parents about it and said that I had seduced him and he couldn't resist because he was a man. Basically put the whole ting on me. (I married young and the families were close). My husband knows everything now, and he's doing his best to forgive me. He treats me wonderfully. It has been 2 years since this incident, and I haven't spoken to this guy since the day I told my husband. Since then my husband and I have had a son together.... My problem is two years have passes and I still can't stop thinking about this guy. I know I am such an idiot...especially after this guy put everything on me. But I can't shake him...after all this darn time! My husband and I seem like such a perfect and happy married couple, but deep down inside we aren't. He really can't get over what happened, and we seem to get into the same argument over and over. We are thinking about getting a separation, but we don't want our son to get effected by this. I feel like it's meaningless for me to harbour feelings for this guy because I can never be with him, even if my husband and I aren't together. My family would be heartbroken if I left my husband, and nobody in the family would ever accept my relationship with this guy. I really don't know what to do. How do I forget about this guy?? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 You forget about him by putting all your energy into working on your marriage. You owe it to your son to keep trying to communicate and work past this. This guy you can't forget is in your imagination. He doesn't really exist, not as you imagine him to be or that he could be for you. He represents how you wish you felt about yourself, or how being with him made you feel about yourself. Maybe go to individual counseling and get to the bottom of what you feel is missing within yourself that this guy brought out. Then try MC with your husband. Your hubby is the guy you fell in love with years ago, and the man you had a child with. Do your best with him, put your thoughts on that. Link to post Share on other sites
carmenrqjones Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 If your reasons for getting married are to improve things between you, then don't do it. If you also seem to be arguing, if your fiance doesn't treat you properly, if you are being abused, getting married will not make things better, it will make them worse! Before you got married it would have been easy to leave, now your are effectively trapped with each other, and in situations like that, behaviour that was bad before can get much worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts