blah Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 we broke up almost 2 weeks ago...after 1 1/2 years. what's really hard is that she still cares about me so much. I've been sick for a few days and she IMed me saying "I still want to be there for you even if we are not together." I felt frustrated from her rut of academic problems and problems opening up with me and that's why we broke up. I'm usually convinced that the break up was the right decision, yet I feel like she was the only person who I could confide in 100%. I feel like there's new things I want to share with her--tv shows I only watched with her, new music, etc. Maybe I was wrong for giving up, but I put up with it for so long. I tell myself that some people just aren't ready for a relationship, and that I'd continue to be hurt if I were back with her. Yet I still feel like I threw something good away, having someone who was so devoted to me. I was just looking for more, and it was something that she couldn't give me, at least not right now. This is so hard, having to be apart from her when she cares about me so deeply. thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
poohbear Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 When I read your message it scared me so much, because it felt like what I am going through....My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago because he said that he was tired of being hurt by me....I also have a hard time opening up to people because of past relationships and I have a problem with pushing people away...I was going through academic problems a well..... So you can see why this was such a shock for me to read..If I were you I would try to make this relationship work....maybe all she needs is to know that you will wait for her to be ready to open up..We just want someone that we know will not hurt us or make judgements upon us for the thoughts or feelings we are having. Some people go there whole lives searching for someone to love and you found someone that loves you completely and like you said is devoted to you....I wouldn't be so easy to give something like that up....I just wish by ex boyfriend was feeling like you were feeling.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author blah Posted May 15, 2004 Author Share Posted May 15, 2004 thanks for your reply poohbear.... I bumped into her on campus today (first time we had seen eachother in 2 weeks) and we talked for over an hour. I told her I wanted to hang out later tonite, even if just to talk more... anyone else have thoughts on this? Link to post Share on other sites
MESO Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 If you still love her, then you should reconsider... I was dumped almost 4 weeks ago and i wish i could have her back....but over time i realized i only want her back if she still loves me and for no other reasons.... If you think she is a great person, but you dont feel for her in that way then maybe over time you can become friends and not lovers... Link to post Share on other sites
hurtbrian Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 blah, how long have you know her before the 1 1/2yrs of a relation ship.? i want to give you a little something to go off of. it sounds like you care about her. and if you're like me you would do anything to make her happy while trying to maintain your own feelings of not being hurt. even though things may not be going to well in a bf/gf relationship. look it like this if you could sit down next to her and swing not saying a word and both get up feeling like it was the best conversation of your lives... maybe you should let things play out as friends and then go from there. because the worst thing in life is the thought of what could have been. its always eaiser to give advice then take your own. give a friendship a chance. i think if the basics of friendship are shown (communication, caring, trusting) a romantic relationship if it feels right, should re-develop. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 Talk to her about working through your problems together. Try to work as a team, not as different parts of the same relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
flusteredinluv Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 i'd say that if you are the one with issues in regards to her, it's prolly best to let her sort out the details-oftentimes it's very difficult to get people to grow if they have problems opening up. those are intimacy issues, and one can help only up to a point. the school stuff...i reckon that's something she has to sort out as well. you can suggest help to her, give her support on maybe seeing a school counciller (sic)...if you couldn't accept the way she was then, you probably won't be able to accept that now or later unless she has time to address those issues. best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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