leilab Posted May 16, 2004 Share Posted May 16, 2004 My husband filed the divorce papers on me & I was served friday night. We had been talking about a trial separation but he was concerned that if he moved out he would be considered "abandoning the children". So instead, he filed the divorce papers. I am absolutely stunned. I was assuming that if it came down to this, we would have an amicable divorce; we seemed to be agreeable on most of the items. Now I read the papers and find out he is sueing me for: 1) child support 2) alimony 3) lawyer fees I did not want to get into a custody battle with him as he is the father of my children and I want him in their life. But now it appears that I will have to fight him tooth and nails. I have been the primary caretaker of my two children, working only 4 days/week and picking them up from school and spending the rest of the day/evening with them. In my mind I was willing to give him 50% custody; even though I spend probably 85% of the time with the kids. So, what to do? I want the kids to have dad in their lives, but to let him take me to the cleaners? Where do I draw the line between being fair since he has drawn the line in the sand? HELP.... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 16, 2004 Share Posted May 16, 2004 I don't think your husband will get much of anything he's asked for, depending on the laws of your state, but you will have to hire an attorney. It can still stay friendly. However, divorces usually don't escalate to the level of his demands unless there is a lot of animosity and resentment. Perhaps the two of you ought to sit down and resolve some of the anger and other issues that got you where you are today before going any further. It's still important that you have excellent representation in your divorce. Don't try to go it alone, without legal counsel. Link to post Share on other sites
friendforyou Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 I think it will also come down to what was the "cause" of the break up. Like there is every any one cause..please. But you know what I mean. Good luck. And keep in mind he served you the papers, not the other way around. "war" was declared on you. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 we seemed to be agreeable on most of the items sounds like he has been lulling you into a false sense of security, but plans to get his pound of flesh -- even if that means using your children as pawns. he might otherwise be a nice guy, but divorce (and coming into a lot of money) does strange things to a person. my suggestion: get yourself a good lawyer, and pronto. make sure that all dialoging takes place with lawyers present, because the playing field not only has been leveled, but completely changed. when my sister was going through a divorce with her first husband, she said the smartest thing she did was retain a criminal lawyer, whereas her ex got someone who just practiced family law. makes sense to me: you're playing hardball now, whether you want to or not. quank Link to post Share on other sites
amish Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 I don't think you have anything to worry about. Divorce in general is set up to screw men over. I doubt he'll get anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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