lizzieee Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 OK, Long story short. I just graduated from college. So I'm no longer my professor crush's student. Back at college I thought (and still think) the attraction was mutual ( lots of signs ). So after my graduation, I confessed that I like him and asked him out for coffee but here is his answer:I'm not in a position that enables me to have a relationship with you, on any level. He also said he didn't think any less of me.etc So what do you guys think? Is there any hope at all in the future for me? What should I do now? I'm deeply deeply attracted to him. It's not superficial. He is everything I could ask for. Thanks in advance.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 His answer to you meant that he has no interest in you whatsoever, and he is probably looking at someone else. Hes a professor, so intellectually, you probably dont do anything for him, but he doesnt want to tell you that. Also, even though you graduated, you are still alumni, and there are probably rules in place about professors dating former students. I dont know for sure if there is, but there might be. But you need to give up your obsession with him, there is no future, and you need to learn to take no for an answer.
Trimmer Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I tend to agree with Eddie. I don't think the words "not" and "on any level" leave a lot of wiggle room there. (And just to be clear, they don't leave any wiggle room...)
evagisele Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I'd take him at his word and stop pursuing him. He made it clear that he cannot (for whatever reasons) have a relationship with you. From the quote you gave, it sounds like he can't even be friends. I had a secret relationship with a professor while I was an undergraduate and graduate student. There are rules that colleges have regarding student/professor relationships. Especially with some people so quick to claim sexual harassment, professors have to be very careful. Along with that, who knows, maybe he is in a relationship, gay, whatever... I feel for you, though. Unrequited love can be such a b*tch.
denise_xo Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I'd take him at his word and stop pursuing him. This. I think his message to you was very clear. I'm sorry you're in this situation, though
AHardDaysNight Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Please stop pursuing him. It's not healthy to fixate.
Lauriebell82 Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Good for him, he made a very ethical decision. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, but I'll bet the university has laws against alumni getting involved with processors as well. He's not interested, move on.
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