Men, why are you such commitment-phobes?

[stillafool]

OP, if this guy you liked was attracted to you the way you want, he wouldn't care about all of your phobias, he would be so attracted he would do whatever he could to date you. He would want to kiss you and have sex with you and men can be persistent when they really desire a woman. He hasn't because he is not attracted to you in that way. I don't know if it's your age or what, but he isn't into you other than a friend. I think you should move on to another 'bad boy' because after 2 years this one just ain't biting.

[LynnieBear]

OP, if this guy you liked was attracted to you the way you want, he wouldn't care about all of your phobias, he would be so attracted he would do whatever he could to date you. He would want to kiss you and have sex with you and men can be persistent when they really desire a woman. He hasn't because he is not attracted to you in that way. I don't know if it's your age or what, but he isn't into you other than a friend. I think you should move on to another 'bad boy' because after 2 years this one just ain't biting.

 

this, basically

 

I have a hard time accepting this, though, because I have seen girls I know he finds attractive and I don't think they are any more attractive than me, yet the girls I've seen him date, I find to be incredibly average, and average to me is usually equal to, not attractive

 

I've seen this girl he claimed to be "in love" with. Never met her in person, just knew her online, she disappeared from his life and he's all heartbroken and she was nothing special.

 

Then I have seen him say girls that look similar to me are ugly...

 

so...

 

the girl he said was ugly was Rebecca Black and I sorta look like her in a way... I resemble her, I don't really look like her. Whether I do or not though, I think Rebecca Black is pretty. I think the type of girl that looks like her is pretty, too.

 

Apparently he doesn't like that. He definitely goes for a different "look" than I like in girls.

 

I personally think the girls he likes are ugly. And I'm not saying that because I don't like that he likes other girls, though, I don't like that. I'm saying it because for someone who claims he's "all about looks" he certainly has low standards. Which then leads me to believe he really isn't all about looks. I really am. ::shrugs::

[betterdeal]

Why would somebody want a person with completely opposite beliefs. It can work but often it doesn't. I do know a liberal woman though who likes republican men because she claims liberals are sissies.

 

A Labour MP in the House of Commons once said "Vote Socialist, f*ck Tory". Lefties do tend to be a bit more complicated than their Wingnut counterparts when it comes to relationships.

[TrueColors]

Which then leads me to believe he really isn't all about looks. I really am. ::shrugs::

 

Yes, this is what we've ALL been saying to you!

 

Seriously, you've really got to get over this whole obsession with physical appearance.

 

Sure, you may believe you look "hawt" (whatever your idea of that is) but this guy isn't attracted to you because he can see the "ugliness" of your ways of thinking.

 

Much the same as without even seeing a photo of you, most of LS can see the "ugliness" in your words. You can't hide that, no matter what clothes you wear and which celebrity you compare yourself to physically.

 

Sure, your friend may say that he's "all about looks". But when it comes to actually getting into a relationship, there's far more to it than that. And unfortunately for you, you don't fulfil that "something extra" for him.

Edited October 21, 2011 by TrueColors

[LynnieBear]

There is a tremendous amount of inconsistency, or outright dishonesty.

 

OP, I have read posts from you where you say that:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You believe that all people who follow a different set of values than those followed by the generally fundamentalist Christians are "stupid," and their values are "wrong."

 

ARE THESE YOUR BELIEFS, OR ARE THEY NOT?

 

If they are, you are patently unattractive to any liberal thinking person. You just are, and always will be. If you really are gorgeous and flawless physically (which is evidently up for debate as well) a liberal thinking person might recognize that. So what. They would never want to spend any time with you, much less a lifetime.

 

What are your interests, passions, hobbies? What makes you a GREAT person to spend time with, for ANYONE?

 

What is it that makes you believe that someone who has nothing at all, even minutely, in common with you, and whose values you disrespect, would somehow decide to MARRY you? Or even go to a movie with you?

 

Aargh.

 

Maybe you ought to think about some therapy.

 

Okay, people (in general) seriously misinterpret me.

 

You won't kiss before marriage;

 

Ideally, no, I would like to wait. Realistically, I myself may not even hold to this. Ideally, I would like to (honestly) wear white on my wedding day. Realistically, I'm not sure that will even happen.

 

Reasoning behind this: RESPONSIBILITY

 

I am incredibly responsible person for my age, and always have been, which is why, contrary to popular belief, I am actually quite mature for my age.

 

Sex can lead to STD's. Sex can lead to AIDS. Sex can lead to PREGNANCY. Before I do the "horizontal mambo" with anyone, he will be tested, I will be tested and I will be on birth control because what fun is sex with a plastic bag on? I've never even had sex, and I know I don't like condoms. Even if I did, condoms break, birth control fails. It's not 100%. If you are adult enough to have sex, you should be adult enough to know the risks involved. I refuse to use them (condoms), but I'm also not the type of girl to try and trap a guy by getting pregnant, so I will definitely be on birth control. Birth control costs money. Even with health insurance sometimes. It also requires a doctor's visit. The wonderful ole' female doctor's visit. It's a lot of responsibility, appointments, remembering to take them, etc... that I would have to know I am committed to someone before just "jumping in the sack" and doing all that work before hand. Then, because you CAN'T trust the majority of people these days, both him and me would get tested for everything that's possible to be tested for. It aint just some, "hey, you're hot, let's f&ck" kind of one-night-stand that people have turned it into. Sex is anything BUT casual and anyone who says it is is lying to themselves. For more reasons than one. It requires a very mature person and a lot of responsibility and knowing what you are getting yourself into before doing it. This is called commons sense, people, it's not rocket science.

 

You don't believe that people are actually gay, it's a "lifestyle.";

 

I don't remember talking about gay people, but if I did (or didn't), this is my stance on the subject.

 

I believe in the bible. The bible says it's a sin. Yes, I am aware that gay people exist. Whether it's a choice or not, I really don't know, nor do I really care. I'm not gay, never have been and probably never will be, so it's not something I concern myself with.

 

I believe that God created Adam and Eve and that there is one man and one woman for everyone. I believe in soul mates. Of the heterosexual kind. And of the monogamous kind.

 

Those are my beliefs.

 

Anything that deviates from this, I am willing to accept it, but it does not make sense to me as I cannot live in another person's body and see things from their point of view.

 

For me, I am very much looking for my one true love and I will wait until the end of (my) time until I find him.

 

I believe in it.

 

Kinda the same way I believe that God is a fact and not faith and that Heaven is a real place that I will someday get to be apart of. Hell... that's a whole other topic, but personally, I would like to see God destroy the devil and save everybody. Anyway, getting off topic...

 

You believe that women should not work outside the home.;

 

I believe women were put on the planet to have babies and to be home makers (or whatever other typical female job there has been). For me, personally, ideally, I want to be a house wife. I don't really have any other dreams. My heart is with the family I don't even have yet and always will be. Realistically? I have had jobs. I have worked. I have had dreams of being a "career" gal and independent.

 

What I don't like is women who are already moms, trying to balance careers and motherhood. You're basically paying another woman to raise your kid (daycare). I also don't like those particular women, putting down stay at home moms. Kids raised by their mothers do far better in all sorts of aspects in life. Kids need their moms. It's just a fact. Not to "shun" dads, because they need them, too. But there is nothing like a mom. She birthed you out of her vagina. You lived inside of her. There is something about a mother's instinct that is like no other. Same thing with dads, just in a different way. Because men and women are different.

 

Also, what I don't like, is men taking "feminism" way too far and throwing out "chivalry". I expect chivalry. Yes, I said expect. I am a woman. It's common courtesy to hold a door open for a woman and pay for her on a date. Any guy who thinks he shouldn't do this for a girl is not my kinda guy.

 

I also want the choice

 

If I want to work, then I'll work. If I want to stay at home and raise the kids that I birthed for my man, then I want to stay at home and raise the kids that I birthed for my man.

 

and I would expect him to be okay with that.

 

again, I believe in the bible...

 

Eve sinned, then Adam followed Eve

 

they each got different punishments.

 

I don't want both women's punishment AND man's punishment as well.

 

I want the choice. Feminism is good, to some extent, but again, has been taken way too far.

 

In politics, the women aren't defended like they used to be. I don't think feminism ever meant for people to start being mean to women. Women have more emotions than men and should still be treated with respect.

 

Learn what it means. (quoting Aretha Franklin here)

 

You believe that men are inherently more intelligent than women, across the board.

 

No. Definitely not.

 

I believe there are certain things that men are better at than women, and vice versa

 

Men are stronger physically. Women are stronger emotionally. That's why women still use men as can openers and men still use women to populate the Earth.

 

That's all I'm gonna say about that, because again, that's common sense, not rocket science.

 

 

Anything I could say past this is moot, because I am a kick @$$ person to hang out with and any guy would be lucky to have me, attractive or not.

 

It's his loss, in all honesty.

 

Saying that sounds narcissistic, but it's just because I have I really strong sense of self and for the most part I am a really happy and content person.

 

I know what I have to offer and if the entire world doesn't like it, they can suck it.

 

I'll still be cool at the end, beginning, and middle of every day.

[Deano8888]

Well I am a bloke and I was dumped by my girlfriend because I felt after two years we should be together,

 

but she didn't want a serious relationship or commitment, she didn't want to move in together or get married. She said she just wanted the best bits of me!

 

And I am 28 and she is 41!!!

 

Women I think do it to men as well. Do you know why? Because people suck!!! they only use you, treat you like s**t, lie to you and play mind games so they can get what they want regardless of how it affects anyone else.

[AHardDaysNight]

People don't suck, but a wide variety of people have issues.

[LynnieBear]

Yes, this is what we've ALL been saying to you!

 

Seriously, you've really got to get over this whole obsession with physical appearance.

 

Sure, you may believe you look "hawt" (whatever your idea of that is) but this guy isn't attracted to you because he can see the "ugliness" of your ways of thinking.

 

Much the same as without even seeing a photo of you, most of LS can see the "ugliness" in your words. You can't hide that, no matter what clothes you wear and which celebrity you compare yourself to physically.

 

Sure, your friend may say that he's "all about looks". But when it comes to actually getting into a relationship, there's far more to it than that. And unfortunately for you, you don't fulfil that "something extra" for him.

 

would you go out with someone who was so disfigured looking to you that they were downright ugly and the thought of getting near them made you wanna barf?

 

that's what the majority of men look like to me

 

women on the other hand, do not, but I don't want a relationship with a woman

 

but women are far prettier than men will ever be and that's just a fact

[LynnieBear]

Well I am a bloke and I was dumped by my girlfriend because I felt after two years we should be together,

 

but she didn't want a serious relationship or commitment, she didn't want to move in together or get married. She said she just wanted the best bits of me!

 

And I am 28 and she is 41!!!

 

Women I think do it to men as well. Do you know why? Because people suck!!! they only use you, treat you like s**t, lie to you and play mind games so they can get what they want regardless of how it affects anyone else.

 

this, pretty much, describe the entire male population and it really sucks when females do it

[Lucky_One]

would you go out with someone who was so disfigured looking to you that they were downright ugly and the thought of getting near them made you wanna barf?

 

that's what the majority of men look like to me

 

women on the other hand, do not, but I don't want a relationship with a woman

 

but women are far prettier than men will ever be and that's just a fact

 

You really feel like vomiting when you look at the majority of men?

 

NOW I see why you don't work or go to school or do anything constructive with your life. You would be spewing vomit on everyone, everywhere you go.

 

And your fact that women are far prettier than men ever will be is probably correct in that there aren't many pretty men. You can also have the fact that men are far handsomer than women ever will be.

 

You remind me of a child who views the world through an empty paper towel roll.

[LynnieBear]

You really feel like vomiting when you look at the majority of men?

 

NOW I see why you don't work or go to school or do anything constructive with your life. You would be spewing vomit on everyone, everywhere you go.

 

And your fact that women are far prettier than men ever will be is probably correct in that there aren't many pretty men. You can also have the fact that men are far handsomer than women ever will be.

 

You remind me of a child who views the world through an empty paper towel roll.

 

Yes, I do. They are ugly. I like "pretty", not "handsome". Handsome to me generally tends to look very "feminine" as well.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Hm.

 

Anyway, a liberal thinking person WILL NOT LIKE YOU. Just so you know.

 

Maybe you are more attracted to girls …

 

And regarding the bible, do you take everything in it with the same literacy? For example, do you only wear clothing made from one fabric? Do you sit on a special seat when you have your period, since you are so unclean at that time>\?

[TrueColors]

would you go out with someone who was so disfigured looking to you that they were downright ugly and the thought of getting near them made you wanna barf?

 

Funny. Maybe this is exactly how your crush is viewing you.

[Lucky_One]

It appears Lynnie is a lesbian, but can't embrace that as she thinks that she will burn in Hell.

[StoneCold]

would you go out with someone who was so disfigured looking to you that they were downright ugly and the thought of getting near them made you wanna barf?

 

that's what the majority of men look like to me

 

women on the other hand, do not, but I don't want a relationship with a woman

 

but women are far prettier than men will ever be and that's just a fact

 

looks lik you better get used to eating carpet