herc3352 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Been broken up now for two months exactly. Been actually NC for 17 days. I'm just venting now because my "friends" seem to be pissed bc it's so hard for me to get over this. My ex is 22 and I'm 24, we've dated for 2.5 years and broke up for stupid reasons in my eyes. This is the 3rd time we've broken up and by far the longest breakup. My situation wasn't standard (are any breakups really?), I thought things were going so well, but to my dismay we ended tragically. My birthday was the last weekend in July and we went on holiday together and spent a week in my hometown and had a really good time. Then two weeks later, she breaks up with me...again. The first breakup (December 2009) happened because she had made out with another guy while being drunk and she felt guilty about it, so she broke it off with me without me knowing about the incident; until we got back together about 2 weeks later. By this time, I had slept with another girl and realized it was a mistake, but was moving on until one night my ex showed up on my doorstep crying her eyes out begging me to take her back (which I did). The second breakup (October 2010) happened when I came back from my hometown for Fall break, a day after buying her an engagement ring, and had just sat my bags down to hear the dreaded words: "we need to talk". She wanted to know if I was the one who made her truly happy and after about a week and a half she realized I was and called me one night to tell me she had been thinking about us a lot and wanted to talk the next day...we got back together lol. So this time, I was at work one night and she txt asking what I was doing and I told her I was talking to a coworker about to leave. I was talking to him about his diet (I'm a personal trainer/model) and she opens the door saying she's been waiting on me for 30 min in the parking lot. I couldn't understand why she was so upset since she could've let me know she was outside waiting and I would've came outside. Either way, she didn't talk to me for the rest of the night and that morning I told her I loved her, that I was sorry, and left for work. She asked when I had a break from work and said she was gonna drop by to talk to me. Well, the reason she showed up the night before was to talk to me about a girl that had been messaging me over facebook; the girl is dating one of my coworkers and we found out we were from the same hometown, so that's all we were talking about...it was nothing. Well, she said she couldn't take me talking to other girls anymore and that she wouldn't be there when I got home. When I went home, she was there and I helped her pack her things and asked her what the problem was to which I got the "I'm just unhappy" response and I explained who this girl was and she said that she felt stupid, but it was the final straw and she realized that she wasn't happy with me anymore. Fast forward a couple of days and she's asking why I haven't talked to her and why we can't just be friends....REALLY? 2.5 years and after a few days, I'm supposed to be "friends"? After a little talking, she tells me that she's confused and she just needs some time and that if I meet someone else, I shouldn't let "our relationship" stop me. After a few days NC, she texts asking what I'm doing and I tell her I'm hanging out with friends for a movie night and she asks if I'm with any females, to which I tell her I'm not "with" any females, but there are females with us, and I get the "well, it doesn't matter, you can be if you want, we're not together anymore"...I leave that one alone and just stop texting her and then another awkward text "How's your libido btw?" I reluctantly reply "healthy?" and she says "have you exercised it's healthiness with anyone?" I didn't reply and after a few texts from her she asks why I can't just tell her....so I tell her that I haven't had sex with anyone. Her reply? "Well, you can if you want, I mean we're not together anymore, so do what you want"...We ended up hanging out about a week later going out to eat and watching a movie back at my place where she attempted to have sex with me, but I rejected her, telling her that it wasn't right. She left shortly after and told me she had a great time and really enjoyed spending time with me. The next day I asked what her intentions were and she replies with: "I knew this conversation was coming, but I've been unfair in ignoring it. I really enjoy spending time with you, but I'm happy with how things are now...please don't hate me." I ended up telling her she was an extremely selfish person in trying to have sex with me while having no motives for reconciliation when she's known this whole time I wanted nothing but that and I didn't want to hear from her again. Fast forward a little bit and I go see a counselor to help cope with the breakup, to which I received HORRIBLE advice! Basically told me that since the reason we broke up was lack of affection (I now see that was a lie from my ex) that I should do something super sweet to get her back in my life...long story short, it failed. I got her over to my apt and was immediately told that "I want nothing more than a friendship from you, this was super sweet, but I'm seriously happy with how things are". It's been 17 days since that night and I miss her tremendously, I want her back honestly because I've never felt this way about any girl I've dated and this seems nothing more than karma coming back to bite me in the ass after all the girls I've dumped. I had been saving for another engagement ring since May, but have used that money to make myself feel better. I just wonder how it's so easy for someone who was talking about marrying you and having kids with you less than a week before the breakup to be completely okay with "just friends" shortly afterwards. Like I said, this is just me venting because my friends are pretty sick of hearing it at this point. I have too much pride to actually reach out to her, but this was her decision so I'm trying to respect it. Edited October 10, 2011 by herc3352 Link to post Share on other sites
mike111 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Like I said, this is just me venting because my friends are pretty sick of hearing it at this point. I have too much pride to actually reach out to her, but this was her decision so I'm trying to respect it. Hey, welcome to the board, Herc. I never got a chance to read all you wrote. But hello, just the same. And again welcome mike Link to post Share on other sites
Author herc3352 Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 why thank you, I don't expect many people to read, it just really helps out for me to post on here as opposed to writing to myself. It keeps me in the good state of mind that I've been in the past few days lol Link to post Share on other sites
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