somethingslast Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 So i am having alot of trouble moving on from a guy i was seeing, not because i want him back (but let's face it, at least some form of remorse from the guy would be nice) but because I want to move on with my life. Back story is, we dated for about 5 months. The first couple of months were going really well, if a little quickly. We were talking/seeing each other everyday, he wanted to introduce me to his family, said he might have found The One in me etc etc. He was so nice and considerate of me that i actually thought i had found someone really special. Things started to go downhill when he started having some personal problems with his family and he suddenly became very cold and distant and broke things off with me saying he could not be in a relationship right now. I was very upset but let him go. We still spoke on a daily basis. Over the next 2 months or so we were friends with benefits (I am an idiot, i know). He would only ever call me when he was drunk and lonely, and me feeling sorry for him, let him come over everytime. I honestly just thought he was a messed up and i could help him - i was falling in love with him. So things were ok for a bit, but he would always leave in a hurry the next morning and tell me that things weren;t going to change between us just because we'd slept together. I then saw him out with another girl (not his ex, who i will get to) and confronted him about and he told me i was being ridiculous and not to spread rumours. I went nc for about a month in an attempt to win him back (again, i now see why nc should not be used for this purpose) and it seems in that time he forgot about me completely. In the back of my mind i always thought he still carried a torch for his ex (from 2 years ago!), and guess what,i was right. I only confronted him about it during the relationship once, in which time he swore he was over her, despite the fact they spoke nearly everyday and saw each other pretty regularly. Not wanting to be a jealous girlfriend, i let it go, until recently when i made an attempt to become friends (again, my mistake) and he coldly told me to stop trying and that he was waiting for his ex to break up with her current boyfriend so they could be together. I am so heartbroken, and know that this guy has nowhere near the morals, values and ethics that i do, but i am finding it really hard. I've been no contact for a week and know that i will have to keep it going for a very long time if i ever want to get myself back. So while i am now removed from the situation, it is still extremely hurtful and i wonder why he didn't just tell me the truth in the beginning instead of sleeping with me the whole time. I'm now facing the prospect that he was potentially cheating on me throughout the relationship and it makes me furious and heartbroken all at once. I am wondering how to move forward from this i guess. Just writing it down makes me think about what a scumbag he is - despite the fact that ironically, he accused me of not caring about him last week. Where do i go from here? How do i pick myself back up and move on? Any advice would be really appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 NC is the only way to go. Another thing, you have to watch relationship jumpers, they are very intoxicating. I got sucked into one, and a friend of mine got sucked into one. She actually broke it off in 3 months but she's still has massive amount of feelings for him and she wont go NC. Just ignore him from now on and focus on you and your needs Link to post Share on other sites
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