Alchoholism and problems related to it!

[SGA]

When is one considered an alchoholic? My bf drinks practically everyday and on the weekend he alone drinks 3/4 bottle of whisky by himself. He is capable of drinking 12 cans of beer at one time. I am not a drinker what so ever so am wondering if this is alchoholism. But I know he cannot get to sleep till he has some sort of alchohol in his blood. Even if it is just a peg of NEAT whisky on a weekday.

 

Due to this we end up fighting a lot cause I cannot handle his drinking habits on top of it he is just 25 but he likes to go drinking with men who are above 65 in age. All these men come from broken marriages with unhappy children. I do not know if this is right but I think they will not give him any hope for life.

 

I do not know if he is an alchoholic. And is he is how do I get him to get help therapy. He is very egoistic and no matter how much I try I have not been able to see that his drinking is killing him.

[Tony T]

Go to the links page of this website and click on some of the links on codependency. Also, use your favorite search enging to read up on alcholics. Call your local chapter of Alcholics Annonymous to have brochures sent to you on the subject.

 

This man will not go for treatment or begin recovery until he realizes he has a problem or has the desire. That could be years, many, many years from now.

 

This is such a majorly serious problem that affects every facet of your relationship with him, I am simply baffled that you are around him. There is nothing meaningful you could be getting from a guy who is constantly blasted under the influence of alcohol.

 

My guess is he is most likely an alcoholic but there are various criteria used in determining that, including genetic factors. Having arguments with an alchoholic about his drinking is like arguing with a dog about his barking. It is NOT a winning situation.

 

You need to see a professional immediately, or go to the websites on alchoholis, and rethink your association with this guy. It is not pretty.

 

Even if your guy is not an alcoholic, being around someone who drinks as much as he does is like having your entire relationship submerged in a sea of numbing fluid. If there was a way to save this that I could think of, I would tell you. Maybe if you start drinking heavily along with him, you would make a lovely couple. Short of that, it is NOT a happening thing.

[Deejette]

He is addicted and no amount of reasoning, nagging, or threatening will change his behavior. Therefore, he must reach rock bottom himself to finally say, "I can't do this any more, it is killing me. Otherwise, he may stop for a while to please you, but under stress, he will sneak those drinks because that is how he copes with his problems.

Go to the links page of this website and click on some of the links on codependency. Also, use your favorite search enging to read up on alcholics. Call your local chapter of Alcholics Annonymous to have brochures sent to you on the subject. This man will not go for treatment or begin recovery until he realizes he has a problem or has the desire. That could be years, many, many years from now. This is such a majorly serious problem that affects every facet of your relationship with him, I am simply baffled that you are around him. There is nothing meaningful you could be getting from a guy who is constantly blasted under the influence of alcohol. My guess is he is most likely an alcoholic but there are various criteria used in determining that, including genetic factors. Having arguments with an alchoholic about his drinking is like arguing with a dog about his barking. It is NOT a winning situation. You need to see a professional immediately, or go to the websites on alchoholis, and rethink your association with this guy. It is not pretty.

 

Even if your guy is not an alcoholic, being around someone who drinks as much as he does is like having your entire relationship submerged in a sea of numbing fluid. If there was a way to save this that I could think of, I would tell you. Maybe if you start drinking heavily along with him, you would make a lovely couple. Short of that, it is NOT a happening thing.

[SGA]

Thanks to both of you. I totally agree with what you both have said.

 

Just that it is so tough to let him go cause he has some excellent qualities. I mean no matter how drunk he has been he has never hit me or even yelled at me. In fact he gets very timid after drinking. But the truth of the whole thing his drinking is a major problem for me. It is causing too much stress in this relationship.

 

He will as of now never let go of his drinking, and I do not think I have any more patience in me to tolerate this stress. I have started going for counselling sessions, cause I find myself becoming a nervous wreck. I am always worried about him drinking and smoking. He used to womanise a lot previously but as far as I know he has not done anything of that type since he has been with me.

 

The good news is that I have broken up with him and I really hope it stays this way.

 

Please do stay in touch with me. My email is <e-mail address removed>.

[Deejette]

Good for you! It took strength and courage to break up with him, because I know you love him. But living with stress every day, that you have no control over because it is not your behavior, is very damaging to your life and health. Having just broken up with someone who caused me more stress than happiness (or the happiness I felt with him was not worth the stress I also felt), I know that you will miss him, but there is a great sense of freedom and possiblity, also.

 

Now it is time for you to find that truly wonderful person who does not need to be fixed and is on more of the same page as you are. Have confidence that this is possible and that you deserve it!

Thanks to both of you. I totally agree with what you both have said. Just that it is so tough to let him go cause he has some excellent qualities. I mean no matter how drunk he has been he has never hit me or even yelled at me. In fact he gets very timid after drinking. But the truth of the whole thing his drinking is a major problem for me. It is causing too much stress in this relationship. He will as of now never let go of his drinking, and I do not think I have any more patience in me to tolerate this stress. I have started going for counselling sessions, cause I find myself becoming a nervous wreck. I am always worried about him drinking and smoking. He used to womanise a lot previously but as far as I know he has not done anything of that type since he has been with me. The good news is that I have broken up with him and I really hope it stays this way. Please do stay in touch with me. My email is <e-mail address removed>.