Dblock10 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I think i have made all of this worrying about nothing in my head. and the reason we don't talk is my fault. my fault for being to stubborn and weak. like someone said, there are a lot of hurt people here and bitterness can over rule what you truly feel. i understand that everyone is trying to stop people from hurting, but everyone's case is different and i think you need to do what you have to do to come to your own closure. be responsible for your own actions, just know that yes they may hurt. but then you have learnt... basically i am on the verge of initiating contact with my ex who is travelling. since breaking up she has been very quiet. but polite every time i have reached out. not really sure what is right or what is wrong anymore. maybe i am in complete denial but i will find out from the horses mouth so to speak. its her birthday on wednesday so i am deciding wether to just say happy birthday or try and get more out of the contact Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 who broke up, you or she? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 long story. but mutual break up, we both knew the 6 months travel would be an issue once it got closer. but me not really wanting to break up kind of felt like it would always more likely go that way. i felt at the time that she didn't really want it or felt the same way about me as i did for her, so i initiated the whole break/breakup idea, i didn't want to get dumped further down the line or to wait for her and see it potentially fall apart and not work out, and then not be able to talk to each other ever again if something went wrong. i didnt want to feel like i was in some way holding her back. to which she thought about and then decided it would be for the best. she couldn't tell me what she would do once back. didn't want to feel obliged to do anything that was near me once back just to keep me happy. knew it wasn't fair to make me wait given this. thus wasn't practical to stay together whilst the world pulled us apart. Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 long story. but mutual break up, we both knew the 6 months travel would be an issue once it got closer. but me not really wanting to break up kind of felt like it would always more likely go that way. i felt at the time that she didn't really want it or felt the same way about me as i did for her, so i initiated the whole break/breakup idea, i didn't want to get dumped further down the line or to wait for her and see it potentially fall apart and not work out, and then not be able to talk to each other ever again if something went wrong. i didnt want to feel like i was in some way holding her back. to which she thought about and then decided it would be for the best. she couldn't tell me what she would do once back. didn't want to feel obliged to do anything that was near me once back just to keep me happy. knew it wasn't fair to make me wait given this. thus wasn't practical to stay together whilst the world pulled us apart. Are you sure it was mutual. It sounds like she almost made you break up with her, or am I missing something? it sounds like it was all about her, her travel, her not wanting to be obligated etc Link to post Share on other sites
fallenheart Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 She dumped D-block months ago and never looked back. Now she's free to travel the world and be single and free and have the time of her life. D-block is still in complete denial. He still thinks she loves him and misses him and is thinking about him. So he's gonna try talking to her for the third time since they broke up...what? Three months ago? Their last contact was a one-line text message. I say go for it D-block. You obviously need to HEAR HER tell you flat out that it's all over. Maybe that would end your denial. Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Fallenheart, as much as I do agree with you (in regards to most aspects of this), I think you should tone down your attitude as its getting a bit aggressive. I know that you're not trying to do so, D-block is a bit stubborn apparently (haha), but all anyone can do on this forum is suggest advice & hope it helps. Whether the person takes it or not is up to them, but then really that begs to ask why they're asking for advice when they don't take it (this isn't directed at you D-Block). D-Block, I hope you realise that harbouring the hope that shes going to come back isn't healthy, but good luck with whatever you choose to do . Edited October 10, 2011 by LelouchIsZero Link to post Share on other sites
fallenheart Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 You're right. Sorry D-block. I let myself get too wrapped up in the drama! Best of luck though...sorry for being so harsh!! Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 You're right. Sorry D-block. I let myself get too wrapped up in the drama! Best of luck though...sorry for being so harsh!! No need to apologise, your heart was in the right place & I'm sure D-block realises why you were being like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Are you sure it was mutual. It sounds like she almost made you break up with her, or am I missing something? it sounds like it was all about her, her travel, her not wanting to be obligated etc in a way it did feel like this, her attitude and what she wasn't saying in response to what i was saying did make me question my stance. and her unwillingness or inability to put time aside to see me before she left was just mean and hurtful. and it was all about her, she couldn't get time off work cause she needed to save for the trip, she told me she had not only told me this but friends also. then weeks later she confessed to booking off some dates well in advanced in order to see her friends before she leaves. that stung. at this point i didnt know if we were officially over or that we were just going to see each other before she left and we were just cooling off. i felt very on the fence and never knew where i stood. it seemed like she didnt really care much. and just wanted to forget me and save and leave. fallen heart is right though, in terms of what is written on paper. but know one will ever know the emotions attached, if there are any.. i do understand that harbouring the hope that she may return is indeed unhealthy. yet i cannot bring myself to delete her completely from my life or heart.. its so bad. Edited October 10, 2011 by Dblock10 Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 D-block, pleased DO NOT do this.... Trust me NO good will come of it. You want her back??? Bust your ass, have something accomplished when she returns, have something to brag about. Whether it be losing weight, gaining weight, buying a house, whatever you two talked about doing together DO IT. It may just work and if it don't you will have something to offer the next gal that will actually want it with you!!!! Last time, don't do it bro NO good will come of it. But if I eat my words I will be the first to stand and clap!! Link to post Share on other sites
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