sleepykitten Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I just dont know if its because I am feeling really lonely or because i actually still love my ex but I want him back despite all the pain and heartbreak and his lies and all of that. I thought I didnt and just needed to move on, i know he has, he is with someone else. I dont think it helped that he threw alot of breadcrumbs my way-he said a few months ago, i'd take you back in a heartbeat, and when we met up told me he only was with the new g/f because losing our relationship left a hole that needed filling and he couldnt be on his own. Now this is a massive red flag-i knowm someone who cant face some emotional discomfort and just goes with the first person to be interested. Why cant i see that he is no good for me, i keep remembering all the good stuff and have a fear that i will never find anyone who i am happy with. I am really lonely and miss having someone, but is it him, or am I scared? Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Stay strong Kitten, you're just having one of those moments of weakness simply because you still love him. He's still on that pedestal and it's going to be a while before you can take him off it. I really do think it's the companionship we miss the most rather than the person. I know my ex is no longer the person I fell in love with, yet I want her back... but not her now, her as she was. And that's impossible. Don't you also find that after a really busy fun time with friends, as soon as we're alone, the ex suddenly pops into our heads. I think it's cos we go from such a great high then come down to earth. If only we could stay busy and active forever, so those memories don't have chance to pop into our heads! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleepykitten Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 Thanks Smudge you never let me down. I know youre right. I have been thinking of just the good times, and yes had a great weekend and was so lovely not to have a constant stream of thoughts centered around him, then going home to my depressing flat then seeing pics of them out just made me feel so lonely. Am moving in with a friend next week so i really do think that will help. Link to post Share on other sites
antz2411 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 its only your free thats eating you alive. letting go really does take courage. do you have it in you? who knows only you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleepykitten Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 its only your free thats eating you alive. letting go really does take courage. do you have it in you? who knows only you know. Not sure about the first bit of this? But I get your point in letting go takes courage, i dont know at the moment if I do have it in me, to be honest i am in a bit of a mess, i was doing so well, broke nc so this is why i am feeling like this. Feel lonely and as though I wont meet anyone else who made me feel like he did in the beginning, not at the end though!! and that does feed that fear of letting go. I know I need to shake myself and stop these negative thoughts. have been out and not wallowing, maybe its this time of year christmas coming up etc! Link to post Share on other sites
Queen of Hearts 10 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Your mess is the same as mine. Winter is the hardest along with the holidays coming up. But I have started dating and making friends, and finally laughing again !! A lot of wonderful men out there wanting a woman, to just have good times with other than in bed. So don't sit on the past. There is some fun waiting for you. The site I have met the men on is Plenty of Fish.com, but thats in my area. Every week I talk to someone new on there. What I want to tell you is my EX has a new GF as of August . They are still going strong and I still text him. Nothing comes of it. But lets say they we're to break up and he came back to me. All I would do is picture him with her and how he left me for her. Then I would think is he still wanting to see her now that he is bored again with me ! Yikes ! What a soap opera in my head ! It's our turn now girlfriend ! I want to have a new man all the way ! So I'm on the man hunt and it's fun. I have wiped away the tears, and the High Heels are on ! My date this weekend has a new Dodge Challenger which will be fast and fun ! Yahoooooooooooooo ! So Chin up and stop looking in the rear view mirror as they say. The front windshield is much bigger !! Queen of Hearts 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleepykitten Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 Thanks Queen of Hearts, I hope you have a great date. I have a date tonight too, not my usual type but seems like a gentleman, and secure in himself, that to me is great at the moment and enough!! Link to post Share on other sites
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