friends with benefits... i fell in love... to tell or not to tell? what would you do?

[annabelle84]

hi everyone!

 

i am reposting my thread, since the last one was very confusing (because that's how i feel since i've never had friends with benefits before).

 

here is the deal: I became friends with benefits with a good friend of mine (the kind of friendship we tell each other almost everything). I ended up falling for him, but i am pretty sure he doesn't feel the same, since he says he is still not over his ex, and looking at other weman (and telling me about it).

 

If you found yourself in my shoes, what would you do? would you tell him/her how you felt and hoped for the best (and risk losing that relationship)? Or would you stand still and hope that with time he would feel the same back?

 

thanks you for helping

[breadandbutter]

do not tell him whatever you do!

[annabelle84]

do not tell him whatever you do!

 

why not? could elaborate?

[breadandbutter]

ok well

1) The more time you spend with a guy the more you will open up to him and start to have feelings as proved in your case

2)He's not over his ex ....BIG RED FLAG

3 He's looking at other women and telling you ....RED FLAG

4) If you do tell him, his feelings may not be reciprocol and you will be left really embarrased

5)You could potentially ruin the relationship with your freind

 

Just be his freind and thats it. Dont spend too much time with him. Check out other guys

[SoulFinger]

I fully agree with breadandbutter..if I were you I wouldnt allow myself to be a FWB..you are only going to get hurt in the process.Be careful and wise.

[spiderowl]

I think I'd withdraw from the FWB situation. If he was taking me for granted, he'd have to think twice about it then. If he really wasn't that interested in me, he'd just go and find someone else. Withdrawing would sort out the wheat from the chaff. What would I say? Hmm ... difficult one? Probably something along the lines of "I'm in danger of getting too attached to you and as we are only FWB, I need to withdraw." Either he's going to have some revelation about his relationship with you or he'll regret losing the sex but just move on. The disadvantage of this though is no more FWB with him. If you feel strongly enough about him and he is just in it for convenience, it's going to hurt if he finds someone else, so why not pull out now? People don't value what they can easily get. If he was to work to see you and spend time with you, it might change things. Can't promise anything though. Good luck.