livnnlrnin Posted May 16, 2004 Share Posted May 16, 2004 Hi all, I've been lurking this forum for about a week now and finally decided to introduce myself to what seems to be some really great people. So....."hello to all, name is Cindy and I'm from Kansas". I guess I'll start by saying that I've pretty much screwed up the last 4-5 years of my life. I got married in '98' to a great guy that loved me more than anything in the world....I took his love for granted. In '01' I met a guy on the Internet and started a relationship with him. I ended up divorcing my husband and marrying this guy in '02'....Somehow I knew I was doing the wrong thing, I felt it so strongly, but for some crazy reason I went through with the divorce and then the wedding?? After I divorced him and while I was dating the new guy, he BEGGED me many, many times to come back to him. I refused. Now, here it is '04'....And I wish nothing more than that I could have him back! CRAZY ME!! I've talked to him a couple times in the last few months and found out that he got remarried about 6 months ago....He says he's happy but asked me to go riding on his Harley with him for awhile. I did....It was great to be so close to him again, and we were both flirting like two teenagers.....I know he still has feelings for me, I could feel it in the way he talked and also in the kiss he gave me when we parted. I believe he is scared because I hurt him so badly before, and I don't blame him a bit. I know in my heart that I should stay away from him, he's now a married man. But it's so hard!!! I have no idea if he thinks about me or not?? He works out of town 3/4 of the time, getting home about 2 weekend per month....It has been about a month since I've seen him and he hasn't called or got in touch with me in any form....I really hope he does....I really know he shouldn't.....AAArrrgghhh.... Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted May 16, 2004 Share Posted May 16, 2004 Why did you refuse when he begged you? Are those reasons still valid? Link to post Share on other sites
Author livnnlrnin Posted May 17, 2004 Author Share Posted May 17, 2004 What can I say??? I hate this about me, but the truth is that I get bored with the same partner after about 2 years. I know that sounds selfish but I can't help it. I have been married and divorced enough to know for sure that I am not the "married type" and it is something I pray that I am smart enough not to ever do again. My ex IS a very special guy though, and I realize now what I lost when I let him go....Nobody else could ever really compare......I look around and there are memories of him everywhere....We did so many things together and had so very many great times. I suppose what I really need is some time alone...(which I've never really allowed myself) to get my own head on straight and to figure out why I have such a tough time "staying" in love?? Life is such a biotch sometimes!! Link to post Share on other sites
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