To the point of no return..?

[babe2011]

I will do my best to keep my story to the point, but please know I am desperate for mature, and honest advice in regards to my unique situation..

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, we live together, and have both remained faithful (not hard for us to do). The past couple of months we discussed what it would be like to have a threesome. Neither one of us have ever had such an experience, and this came up one night. Ever since I will admit I had started to fantasize about having a threesome with my boyfriend and another women. I am 100% straight, but do appreciate the beauty of a women. I do not think either one of us thought it would actually happen, we never planned for it, we just talked about the idea of it sometimes.

 

This past weekend, my boyfriend and I attended a local event which is known to be a massive party for our town, naturally alcohol was being consumed and we had been drinking liquor from 1130am - all day long. A female, 7 years younger then us, whom I just hired was new to our area and was alone for this event. We felt bad and invited her to come with us and my friends to the event for a good time, with NO intentions of what ended up happening. Neither my boyfriend or myself were attracted to this girl, she had a cute face but our idea of a hot women that we would want to join us was FAR from this particular girl..

After the event, she continued to party with my group of friends and came back to our apartment complex to attend a pool party we all decided to have in order to keep the party going. I do remember her making reference that she was into experimenting and had a thing for girls and threesomes, but we just overheard this - we did not have a conversation with her about it by any means. As the drinking and evening went on, I wanted to go home and bring an end to the party/night. She came back with my boyfriend and I in order to get her purse from my apartment.

Next thing I know, I was in my bedroom and she came in with her top off. I just looked at my boyfriend, and suddenly the 3 of us were on the bed, seriously it happened just like that. I don't think him nor I ever thought we would actually do it, so clearly drinking had played a major factor. But, we both went for it, and I will admit, it was a hot situation..I do not recall every detail, because we all were drinking for so long - but I do remember her and I kissing, and engaging in oral, and I clearly remember my boyfriend and her doing oral to each other, kissing and having sex with each other. In regards to them having sex, it was a turnon to watch, but I remember he was not able to remain hard...so I don't know if she was truly riding him because she kept saying he can't stay hard..

Anyways, everything stopped and I started to feel kind of sick and wanted to pass out. She lived across the street, and it was pouring rain. My boyfriend naturally is a gentleman and he was going to walk her home then come back. Next thing I remember is waking up in the middle of the night, and he was in bed sleeping next to me. The next day, we were talking about it and I made a comment about him being gone for so long. He had said earlier he did not remember much at all about the evening before and we both had joked that he had two women who he was able to do anything he wanted with but he was unable to perform...he did not remember much of this at all and was upset since it was his one shot

Well, this morning before I came into work, he called me and said he had a quick memory of being in the pool with her at her complex. But he reassured me nothing happened, but we both knew his memory was really bad about that night, which is true since he was unable to remember things I wanted to try in the threesome, so we were having very open and honest conversation about our night and what we remembered. So he called to tell me this in case she told me, he only wanted it to come from him..

I immediately sent her a text and told her my boyfriend asked me to inquire about what happened between them in her pool. She wrote back saying she got topless in the pool and she likes to get naked when shes drunk. I said I enjoy the same thing, kept it fun, not wanting any negative attention between us, as I know we were all very drunk and never meant for this to happen..I sent her a text back saying my boyfriend told me they had hooked up (which was a lie, but I felt she was holding back from telling me something, and of course he had not remembered anything..)

She wrote me again and said the following

"Unfortunately he still couldn't get up. So he went down on me in the pool and I was thoroughly impressed. And we just kissed I think. Trying to remember because I was pretty far gone"

 

My heart BROKE! I was shocked that they continued to fool around behind my back. This was suppose to be a threesome! Not a free for all. I trusted him to walk her home, but they end up in her pool and became sexual together. Far from a threesome...I told him this information and he sounded heartbroken, saying he did not remember any of this and he is demolished and this is not what he wanted and has no idea how that happened.

I need advice. Should I not be mad at him because of all the drinking involved...He clearly was out of it, couldn't even remain hard or engage in the threesome other then what I wrote above. It sounded like a drinking blackout where you are able to communicate and engage in situations but have no memory of the events...Please everyone, help me understand. My first thought was he cheated on me!! Behind my back!! But the more I think about it all day I don't know if I have the right to be mad or anything. I am a very possessive person who never thought could share her man, but I was open to the threesome because we were involved as a team. It was fun for our relationship because we were secure enough - but things backfired and ended up going down in a way I never thought possible...It breaks my heart to think of my boyfriend hooking up with another women in a pool doing god knows what while I was in bed not feeling so well...Please, any advice is much appreciated!! I really don't know what to do or how to handle the situation with him or her...Please help me I had even thought about inviting her over again when we were not so trashed in order to engage in the threesome so he would remember it and have fun, but after hearing this news this morning or what happened on the walk home, I am blown away..

 

Please help..

[jnj express]

You wanna play with fire---YOU GET BURNED

 

Staying straight ain't good enuff for you

 

Your BF, probably wanted to prove a point to himself, that he could get it up, still couldn't, bottom line, you broght in a 3rd party, into a good relationship, and now you are starting to be miserable----WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

 

People who play the kinky games, have specific rules, and are specifically geared to what they are doing, and some of them, even fall prey, to things going "south"

 

Now you have a trust problem, and you don't know what to think, and your BF, doesn't know what's going on cuz he can't keep it up, and what was a nice solid relationship now has cracks

 

Welcome to the life of misery, that screwing around gets you

 

By the way what the he*l are you doing drinking for what, 12 hours---or don't you give a sh*t about your own body---ever hear of CIRRHOSIS of the Liver

[Osiris1234]

I think your both responsible for what happened. I know saying alcohol is an excuse but I think this time it really did play part in what happened. If you can get past this then try to. If not go to counseling.

[Tayla]

Once the newcomer arrives back to respond, then maybe some feedback can be had. At this time it appears the Poster simply cut and pasted in this thread and another.

[Space Ritual]

I am a very possessive person who never thought could share her man, but I was open to the threesome because we were involved as a team. It was fun for our relationship because we were secure enough

.

 

 

1. This makes no sense.

2. No you weren't secure enough. Not even close....rarely are relationships secure enough for three ways or group sex unless you specifically enter into your relationship as "open" and both partners have previously agreed to boundaries. Even then it is a minefield at best...

Your whole reasoning, combined with poor decision making skills(who even considers this with someone they just hired?) hampered by being at the Jaycees Beer Garden all day are some major contributing factors.

 

That you should be shocked he went and got some whole walking her across the street amazes me. I suggest you grow up and stop acting like a victim, because you are not a victim in any way.

Edited October 16, 2011 by Space Ritual
typo