PCADDICT Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I believe I am an Addict to Sex. Before my wife, I used to watch pornography, and masturbate from 6-8+times per day. And then I met my wife, and I have been with her for 6 years this month, in whom I love and care for very much. We would make love any chance we'd get, and behind her back, I would watch pornography, and masturbate until orgasm from 2 to 4 times per day, and then make love to her again. Sometime's she'd wonder why I can't "Stay Up," and I'd come up with some excuse that I'm tired, or too sore, etc. Last night, I left my computer open, and she found a bunch of ads that I have posted on Craigslist personals as far back as May, until Earlier this month. In these ads, I've been asking for No Strings Attached, sexual favors from different people. I have hurt her so much, and I've asked her if she can help me, If she can help fix me, if she can help me find some help. She told me that I have to do this on my own. I've posted these ads, but all I've got in response were spam mail, no texts nor telephone calls. I've looked at these like "window Shopping," I have completely lost her trust, and she asked me to get help. She still loves me, but doesn't like me. Can We get some Ideas on how to help save our marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Seek out the advice of a relationship counselor. There are some times that porn can be useful, but when it becomes an obsession, that's when it is unhealthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Linda9999 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Go see a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and join a 12 step group (Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous). Your CSAT may also be able to help your wife understand what's going on and recommend someone for her to go to. You should also get into MC eventually, if not now. There's also books and websites that may be helpful to you - Patrick Carnes and his wife both write books for sex addicts and their spouses. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Go see a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and join a 12 step group (Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous). Your CSAT may also be able to help your wife understand what's going on and recommend someone for her to go to. You should also get into MC eventually, if not now. There's also books and websites that may be helpful to you - Patrick Carnes and his wife both write books for sex addicts and their spouses. That's good advice. You are going to need the help of a good counselor or therapist to beat this addiction, preferably one who specializes in sexual addictions. Also, it would help to join SAA so that you have someone to call when you are feeling the urge to do something you shouldn't. You also should have some kind of filter or something installed on your computer so that any time you attempt to go to inappropriate internet sites, it will block you. You may even get a keylogger so your wife can verify your activities on the internet. Nothing like knowing the spouse is tracking your activities to give you a little more motivation to control yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
march31 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 first of all, going on craigs list for "sexual favors" is the same thing as cheating. i cant even imagine how much pain she's in. especially after six years of marriage. if you loved her so much you would do anything you possibly could to avoid hurting her. one of those being, STAY AWAY from the computer. do not go on it at all unless absolutely neccessary for things like work or something. stop watching pornography, this makes some women feel like they arent good enough. i cant relate to this problem because my boyfriend is a sex addict as well. when he gets the urge to have sex we try doing something. it might sound weird but we lay down in bed together, fully dressed, he counts to one hundred or sings a really BAD song(which ever he feels like that day) and when hes done, we talk about the most random things. work, family, vacations, where we want to be in 10 years, ect. and of course he masturbates only once a day if he has to. and he always lets me know so that if i do want to have sex i know the reason it doesnt want to "stand up". try these things. you might not need a councilor after all. that is, if you love each other enough to fully try for the sake of your marriage. ---hope i helped. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts