2nd Chance?

[Ravechick87]

2nd Chance?

 

Okay so I went out wit' this guy ... let's call him A.

 

Well the thing is...urg...I really know I love him. When we decided to break up, it was mutual. I don't think either of us wanted to break up, I didn't at least. But he told me he wanted to break up wit' me for like a week. But he never said anything.

 

See that day I heard from one of our friends ask me if it was true that we broke up. I was really surprised! I said no, why? And he told me that's what A had told him. I wondered if it was 'cause at the begining of the day I went up to him and his 2 friends. I said hi to both of his friends and then f*** u to him and left.

 

Then when I was over there after that class, he wasn't there (I was only joking), well he came and I tried to talk to him and tell him I was joking and he just brushed me off, and looked mad.

 

Do u think that led him to believe we broke up? See I was just getting sick of never having time to be wit' him. He wanted to be wit' friends, and there was time where we neva saw each other 'cause he was grounded 3 weeks straight.

 

Ugh...then Spring Break, I was ready to give up, 'cause 7 days into SB and we still hadn't hung out! Then finally that 7th day he came by my house to see me wit' his best friend, and then Saturday we hung out again. I loved him outta school, but hated him in school 'cause he stopped walking me to alotta of my classes and just paid more attention to friends. When I would hug him, he hardly put emotion into it.

 

But when I called him up to talk to him 'bout breaking up (yes I called). We both just...well it did sound like we didn't, we just kept prolonging it. I asked: "Did we break up?" He asked the same. And I was like: "If u thought we did, well we didn't, but do u wanna break up?" "I don't know, do u wanna?" It was just dumb,

 

I really don't remember either of us saying I wanna break up wit' u, we just both assumed. Well weeks go by, and I call him up talkin' 'bout: "I thought u said u wanted to be friends, y r u avoiding me?" "I'm not, u avoid me." I guess we both do it. But then I said: "It's pretty sad that we can't talk 'bout this in person." So we agreed, I'd go over to his house.

 

Well I really didn't use this as an oppurtunity. See...the reason I called him was 'cause my friend had told him I still cared about him alot and I missed him. She in turn told me he said: "Make sure to tell her to call me, I mean make sure." But when I did call him, his dad answered and they were busy wit' father son time, whateva.

 

Well, so did that mean he wanted to get back together? I never asked him y he wanted me to call him when I went over. But on the phone before that I said: "What exactly did she say," he told me, and I asked: "Well was I supposed to call?" "Yeah." "Did I?" "I don't know."

 

I think his dad told me to call back, but it was already like 9:50, so I didn't. Ugh!!!! At his house, we hung outside, and had fun playing basketball. Then we play fought to see who was stronger. It was almost like same ol same ol. It was weird 'cause we were sittin next to each other and I laughed and put my hand on his knee, and he got all nervous and brushed me.

 

Hmm...I know before we went out he would get really nervous and stutter. Man I love him. he told me that he would always see me last year in school and I was the first girl to make him so nervous that he couldn't talk to me. Then this year he saw that I was friends wit' our friend...let's call him E. Then he thought: "Oh great! E knows her," and so he moved in and began buggin me like most usually do.

 

I don't know...but his bestfriend always asks me 'bout A, he always asks me if I'm jealous. Like recently Friday, there's this midget girl that I guess likes him, and she was wit' him, puttin' moves on him. I noticed he would kinda look at me and do something back. Then the day before he was all like: "Yeah the girl I was making out wit!" Him and his bestfriend kept talkin' bout it all loud. I didn't say anything.

 

But when I went op to his bestfriend Friday, he asked me if I seen when A was grabbing' onthat girls boobs, and she grabbed his "thing". I said no, and immeditly he asked me: "Are u jealous?" and I said: "No I don't care anymore, I gave up." And he looked at me wit' the most SURPRISED SHOCKED AND DISAPOINTED LOOK.

 

Hmm....does he know something I don't? He looked at me like I ruined some kinda plan. Is this a plan? A always restrains himself wit' a girl when I'm around. Ugh...

 

I have a necklace that I wear. For a while I stopped wearing but recently I've started wearing it again because I wanna be wit' A again. The necklace represents: All The First We Shared.

 

Let me tell u them:

 

*When we first met

 

*First Kiss

 

*Are first real date (ever wit' anyone)

 

*Losing are virginity to each other

 

*and so on...

[shellgranado]

him and his friend are playing games dont play them with him the more you show you dont care the more he will want to be with you i kn ow it sounds wired but guys want what they think they cant have

[Ravechick87]

Over the time of sadness. bitterness, and slight degree of happiness, I shared a nice but bad relationship with A, my first for eveything imaginable. I can't go into detail but yes, when I say everything, I mean everything.

Somehow right now...maybe someday I'll feel diffrent, but right now all that matters is now.

I feel as if every guy I see, no matter if they're fine as hell, the finest I've ever seen, and how well built he is in all areas, well...somehow I just...they just don't compare to A at all.

If I make-out with another guy...well, they don't mean anything at all, and it really makes me wonder if I'll ever find anyone else. I mean I know I'll find someone else, I just don't know when, where, but the thing is I mean I don't think I'll ever love anyone else as much as I loved him...

Huh...I feel so fusturated. Yes if I am without another guy, and if I do something intimately with him, all I can think of is..."I wish he was A...," and it just doesn't feel the same. I get so mad thinking 'bout the fact that we broke up for no reason, the fact that we could'a still been going on, so many chances and opurtuinitys lost, so much love we could'a gave, all the fun we could'a had.

I know he still loves and cares 'bout me too. Yes I LOVE A!!!

I ADMIT IT!!!! Bestfriend, J, and Danny are trying to get it outta me. SO YES I LOVE HIM!!!

But yeah I obviously know he's made-out with Caseys sister, and 'bout that 8th grader, but yet...now if he still didn't think of me, wouldn't he have been someone else by now?

Wouldn't he stop looking at me? Wouldn't he stop playing games with me? Wouldn't he stop flirting with me and checking me out? I...I don't know what to do. I do see him with that Tiffiany girl, and I see him flirt and touch her in a sexual kinda way. Well he's like harrasing her, but she likes it. She does it back. Ick...and I'm the hoe? Yeah but when he talks 'bout her, he sounds like he's talking 'bout a friend, not a girl he'd like to go out with. I just don't get the sense that he wants her. Somehow I think A is using her, like Raymon was with me. Just to satisfy his needs, not that he wants to be with her. But I'm so confused. I want him to know how I feel. Maybe he wants me back as much as I want him back. I mean Bestfriend kept saying that I'm in love with A. Just the way A looks at me. The only reason I hate A is because we broke up for no reason when I still wanted to be with him. I can't see myself with anyone else, not even Ryan! I'm way past Ryan now...oh and then J told me the other day that when we (A, J, some guy, and me) were up on the balcony, and A kept saying stuff, and I hit or pushed him, 'cause I was getting mad, well J told me that A kept glancing at me when he talked and then he kept checking me out! *Smilez* Well J said: "I caught him a couple of times, and he looked at me with a smile, and that's why he said: "Hey shawty." AWW!!!!! That makes me so happy!...sigh...He just won't admit anything. I got him alone and asked him:

G:"A, why are you so mean to me?"

A:"I don't know..."

G:"Please A, why do u hate me so much?"

A:"I don't know..."

G:"Well, c'mon I'm asking you to say something A."

A:"What?"

G:"What?"

A:"Well I said something."

Ugh...grrr.