Finally - Ended it last night - Day 1 of NC

[So Hurtful]

Here I am again, a little over a month from the last time I posted. LC did not work of course, and this past month has been tough. Since I found out about the informal marriage, my perspective about our relationship changed, I do not feel what he have is special to him anymore and I had told him before if the day came when I started feeling like he was treating me like a lover, I would say good bye. Well, the day came since I don’t feel I am special to him to plan a future with me, his words were not enough anymore since I was ready to see actions. So for this past month I have been preparing myself to end it, to accept reality and let him go

 

We talked about the subject last night (for the umpteenth time!!) and he admitted he is very stressed out about our situation and that he has been thinking about it a lot (he had been so distant last week and this past weekend, I knew right away something was wrong, he said he has been doing a lot of thinking). He said it is too late for us to start a life together, he said we had our chance when we were young and missed out on the opportunity and that things would not work between us given we both have kids and our life would be full of problems. I told him I understand his position and I respect that but it is time to say good bye as I will not accept a part time relationship and that it is not fair to me, that he confuses me a lot. He said he never gave me any promises to which I laughed at because even though they were not promises, he implied and talked about a future together so many times otherwise I would have taken the high road a long time ago since I was not in this just to have fun!!! I told him I was not crazy and I did not create the dreams by myself, the hope for a future together, he helped me build that up but I cannot handle the confusion anymore because he is not able to make a decision that benefits me. He asked me to give him time, that he needs time to himself, to be able to think with a clear head and I told him, time is what I have given him, 22 months of it!! He said it is not easy to make such a decision even though he is not happy in his marriage, even though he has never been in love with his wife, even though he is not comfortable at home anymore, it is not easy to make the decision to end an 18 year marriage. I told him I completely understand and I respect that but this time, it has to be for sure that we end our relationship, because he has told me all of this before and then he contacts me two hours later!!! I told him he confuses me and he cannot continue to string me along, I told him this time it is for sure we are ending it. And I am sure this will happen because I AM READY. I want everything or nothing.

 

I asked him if he was planning to come clean with his wife and he asked “do you want me to tell her?” and I said “it is not up to me, that is your relationship with her and only you can make that decision” he said he did not know if he would tell her and then asked me if I was planning to send a picture of us over to their house and I told him “you are so worried about it uh?” and I told him that I would not gain anything from sending a picture of us to her, he would only resent me for that and I do not want his resentment. I also told him my pride would not let me do it because the only thing his wife would tell me is “well lady, you knew he was married, he screwed you and guess what? He is here with me!!” hell no, I am not going to do that!! So I told him I loved him too much to put him in that position and not to worry, I would not let anyone in his family know about our relationship and send photos/proof, I will not do that. When I told him it was time to go he said “we’ll keep talking about this” and I said, NO, not anymore, what is the point? You just stated that you need time to yourself my love and I am going to let you be so if you really love me like you say you do, please do not contact me unless you are SURE of what you want, stop confusing me!!!.

 

He said he had talks with his wife this past weekend, that they both agree there is nothing left of their relationship, and he told her he does not see the point of staying, that they are at a dead end and she told him “well leave, what are you doing here, leave!”. He said there is not intimacy between them, that he does not even remember the last time they shared a kiss. They do not spend any quality time together (dinners, movies, dancing, etc.) and when she would have the opportunity to go out with him, she turned him down, like on his birthday, they went to dinner as a family and afterwards he went to a club with his sister and he invited me and introduced me to her and many many other times where she would send him off by himself. I know they do not spend quality time because when he is off and able to go out, she is working and he would spend time with me on the weekends. He says he has talked to his Dad about his unhappiness and he has advised him it is not too late to start over, MM is only 37. MM told me that he cannot jump from one relationship to the other, which I told him I completely understand, we have talked about it before, that at least a year would have to go by in order to introduce our kids to each other.

 

Bottom line is our relationship has been strong, it has been wonderful and he feels in order to make a decision it needs to be with him having a clear head and that means me out of the picture, and I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND!! That is exactly what I want as well, but, like I said, we never followed through when we said we were going to take a break and see what would happen. But this time, I will make it happen. So guys, here I am at Day #1 of NO CONTACT. He always told me I was his queen, and last night I told him “you have always said I am your queen” and he said “you are my queen” and I replied saying “well baby, your queen wants her crown” and I will stick by my decision!! Please wish me luck, I am doing okay considering the circumstances. If it is meant to be it will happen, if it is not, oh well, better to find out now than 22 more months down the road. I have faith that if what we have is true, we will be together eventually. But I also realize he might not be willing to put in the work that it takes to make something like this happen. He is a conflict avoider and of course, a divorce brings a whole lot of problems/issues!! But he cannot tell me it is not possible since I am doing it myself and a lot of people have done it as well. Only time will tell. I will keep everyone informed. I know he will contact me eventually and will let you know when that happens. I feel if it was up to him he would do LC but that will only lead us back to the same place!! So what’s the point of LC? Nope, tried it and did not work so NC is my only option.

 

I told him I wished him the best and that I sincerely wish everything works out for him, he made his decision and that he needs to make it work, I encouraged him to make it work, to go to counseling and he told me their problems are beyond counseling. So of course, when he saw I was calm, resigned and I lovingly accepted his decision, that is when he asked for time. So we shall see. Thanks guys!

[missy268]

Day 1 will turn into week 2 and week 2 will turn into 1 month, 1 month will turn into 6 and 6 months will turn into a year - thats my thinking at the moment and i wanted to pass that onto you

 

I am on day 17 of NC, i ended it , he isn't married, hes younger than me by 5 years and he lives with his girlfriend and we had an affair - he told me he was leaving her for me, i believed everything he told me, and he still hasn't well i dont know for sure but im assuming he would come back if he did, i told him 17 days ago, that i was out, he cant keep using me when things are bad with her , he told me that he wasnt using me, things were bad and he needed time to sort things and to move out, and i said dont contact me until you've left and your ready, 17 days later here we are, if im honest it feels like 17 years but im quite proud of the fact ive come this far without contacting him even though ive wanted to, i haven't!

 

If its meant to be, it will happen, whether it be a year from now, or 5 years from now - same with your guy - nobody can just up and leave anybody , they have loose ends to tie up and if they are married divorce and things, and i think for your own sake you have got to realise you are not getting anything out of this situation but heartache, and i realised that i was worth being somebodys only woman, not other woman! All or nothing at all!

 

I wish you well , and i hope you are okay! stay strong xx

[Owl]

Sorry to hear about your painful situation.

 

Just a few words of advice for you.

 

NC is TOUGH. It's not easy.

 

Given that...I suggest you ACTIVELY TAKE MEASURES TO PREVENT FURTHER CONTACT.

 

Remove his number from your phone, remove him from your email/IM/texts/tweets/whatever. Make it so that if you have a moment of weakness, you can't quickly and easily contact him.

 

BLOCK his accounts from being able to do the same. Block his calls/emails/texts/IM's/whetever. Make it so that he can't suck you back in when he has a moment of weakness.

 

It sounds harsh...but it's proven method to help improve your chances of success.

[heartinlove]

Good for you hurtful. My situation is pretty similiar to yours. I did the same thing you did and am now on second week of NC. There are ups and downs but it gets easier and im for the most part doing really well.

 

If its meant to be it will. Thats my belief too. But Im not willing to be dragged through endless heartache anymore. He has to come to me free and ready. Its a great place to be.

 

Dont look back. Be strong. MM and I went back and forth a million times too. Don't get weak when you miss him. Stay in NC. Dont give in to his wanting LC. Take care of yourself and love yourself. Wishing you the best!

[So Hurtful]

Thank you Missy. I do bring a lot to the table and expect the same, he completely understands what my expectations are and I knew once I was starting to have more free time to spend with him, this would not last too long because I will not accept anything less. I understand he feels conflicted and needs time by himself and I love him so much that I will give him space and wish him the best even if I am not part of his life. I just want him to be happy! Thanks for the best wishes and let's stay strong!

[So Hurtful]

Thanks for the tips Owl, by the way, and I know this was so stupid on my behalf but, I had taken a secondary line under my cell phone account about 4 months ago to give to him so he could freely text/call me, etc. and not have to use his cell phone. Anyhow, when I told him there was no need for further communication since he needed time and space, he voluntarily turned the cell phone over to me and I was glad he did because IF he ever comes back to me, it should not be under hidden circumstances and I should be able to call him freely at any time. No more hiding, love is such a beautiful thing that it deserves to be displayed in public and not be hidden between four walls. I have had enough of that and that was never my goal with this relationship.

[So Hurtful]

heartinlove, congratulations on your decision to go NC, I wish you the best. I also believe that IF he comes to a decision to be with me, it needs to be HIS decision and I do not want him to feel pressured by me. I've never pressured him or given him an ultimatum because I wanted him to do it on his own but I have read on here that they will not do anything about it if there is no need to make a change, he has everything he wants. Happy home and me on the side. I was filling the voids he had and let's see what happens when he starts filling that void again. Maybe he will value what he had then. I will take this time to focus on myself (I LOVE doing that!!) pamper myself, and of course, my kids will keep me busy, there is always something to do with them! I have a lot to look forward to. I am starting a new life soon (after my divorce is final) and have lots to do!

[heartinlove]

heartinlove, congratulations on your decision to go NC, I wish you the best. I also believe that IF he comes to a decision to be with me, it needs to be HIS decision and I do not want him to feel pressured by me. I've never pressured him or given him an ultimatum because I wanted him to do it on his own but I have read on here that they will not do anything about it if there is no need to make a change, he has everything he wants. Happy home and me on the side. I was filling the voids he had and let's see what happens when he starts filling that void again. Maybe he will value what he had then. I will take this time to focus on myself (I LOVE doing that!!) pamper myself, and of course, my kids will keep me busy, there is always something to do with them! I have a lot to look forward to. I am starting a new life soon (after my divorce is final) and have lots to do!

 

You sound like you're really heading in the right direction. I was the same. I never pressured him at all. Not my nature. But you're right, staying in it I believed helped him stay married and filled voids despite what he said. You gave him 22 months to make a choice. I gave a year. I realize now how much of myself I gave up, how many needs I went without to give him the space to make a choice. I now want a full life back and to have the complete relationship I deserve.

 

The best thing you and I can both do is live a great life.

[whichwayisup]

Grieve this like it's over, forever.

 

From what you've said, I believe it truly is over forever.

 

He said it is too late for us to start a life together, he said we had our chance when we were young and missed out on the opportunity and that things would not work between us given we both have kids and our life would be full of problems.

 

Nothing in the next week, month or year is going to change the above.

 

Stay strong, do the NC, post here, reach out to your friends, keep busy, but also allow yourself to grieve this loss so you can heal and feel better. Dont let yourself have hope that 'one day he'll be back'.

[fooled once]

I hope you and the other posters on this thread who have recently gone NC fully do NC, as in do not sit and hope that today is the day he calls.

 

If these guys really loved you, they would be with you - ESPECIALLY after 22 months! Heavens, he expects you to believe he isn't so sure NOW, when he has been telling you all along it is just a marriage of name and nothing else? And NOW he is conflicted? Bull.

 

He knows you are done. Doesn't mean he won't drunk text/call you asking for a booty call under the "I miss you so much" disguise. I hope for your sake you don't take those calls or texts.

 

If he isn't sure today, he won't be sure tomorrow. If the marriage is so bad, why the need to take time? He has lied to you - he has led you on.

 

NC is hard. It will make you weep and make you think nothing good is ever going to happen in your life. BUT you survived without him before, you will survive again. Never should you have to sneak around or give him a cell phone so he can reach you. That is just yucky. How could he do that to you? How could he convince you that sneaking around was a good idea? Doesn't matter if you saw him on his birthday, met his sister, whatever. The fact of the matter is right now he has chosen his wife and has chosen to stay with someone he claims he has nothing with - no love, no chemistry, no intimacy - and let you go, the person he claimed to love, etc.

 

He has made his choice.

 

Good luck and stay strong.

[Cosausuariev]

lampy

[Choose Life]

I feel your pain I really do. NC is the toughest, but it does get easier, just 2 weeks in I was feeling better. I blocked everything online, deleted his mobile number. We have a lot of mutual friends, so blocking on FB really helped. You don't need to know what is going on his life, that he is carrying on like normal, when you feel like your life is falling apart. I initially couldn't get my head around after all he said, he choose his wife. But if you accept it, and work through the feelings it does get easier. You have to work through them to get to the otherside. I wish you the best of luck and a virtual hug, look after you and be strong, one day at a time.

 

Louise.

[SBC]

Never should you have to sneak around or give him a cell phone so he can reach you. That is just yucky. How could he do that to you?

 

I think the question she should be asking is, how could I do that to myself?

 

I am not holier than thou as I have my fair share of embarrassing behavior under my belt. But I am learning that the only to "stay strong" is to understand why you allowed certain behaviors.

 

In the coming days and months of NC, it will be helpful to focus less on him (i.e. Why did HE do that, or what was HE thinking) and focus more on yourself (i.e. Why did I do that, or what was I thinking) because if you don't understand your WHATS and WHYs of this affair you are vulnerable to having another one in the future.

 

So, underneath all of your bad feelings about him and the breakup, underneath all the sadness and possibly anger --what do you feel?

 

When I asked myself these questions, the answer that kept coming back over and over again was fear. Mostly fear that I could not make it alone --so instead of waiting alone until the right man came along, I immediately took whatever was offered to me.

 

I wish you the very best on your journey!

Edited October 12, 2011 by SBC

[Emme]

I am so sorry it came to this. I had hoped things would work out for you. This relationship was unique indeed with the marriage thing. I am just so filled with anger right now. All of this sh*t is just a waste. It's a waste of time and f*cking energy. Be happy that you are no longer wasting your time. It doesn't seem that way now but one day it will. Keep chin up.

[So Hurtful]

Just wanted to give a quick update. He sent a text last night and it went like this:

 

Him: How are you?

Me: Fine thank you and you?

Him: So, so

Me: Why? what happened?

Him: Nothing

Me: I want you to be fine

Him: I'm ok. Just wanted to say my heart is aching.

 

 

Please do not get after me for replying to his text. It is very hard not to do and I do understand it is a shame that even a few exchange of simple words like this gets me all excited, that is pathetic because I obviously want more and I deserve more than a how are you?. I know he will continue to do this, I can feel it because he is conflicted but he did ask for time by himself, he said we have been at it non stop (our relationship) and that he needs time to think with a clear head and that is the reason I told him we cannot contact each other because he is asking for time, but here he is, 48 hours later asking how I am doing. I am not the one with a conflict!! I am okay!! I am sad, of course, but I know that life goes on and I am starting the healing process, I wanted him to be part of my life but he cannot offer that at the moment because he has not made a decision but it was hard not to answer his text when I know there is a ray of hope there for us because he is torn and all stressed out about the situation because he knows I do not have an interest in continuing to hide our relationship and he knows it is not fair to me. He told me he is not happy at home and does not see the point in staying and spending another 20 years of his life frustrated but that it is still not an easy decision to make.

 

Oh well, just wanted to give you all an update.

 

When he tries to contact me again, how can I tactfully be direct without being rude? I do not want to completely push him away when he tries to reach out to me but at the same time, I do not want to "calm" his anxiety if he is starting to miss me by answering his txts. If he tries to call me, I do know I will not answer his call. I know this will get even worse when he starts feeling the "urge" to be with me intimately. Right now he is missing our daily communication, being able to talk to me about what he is doing at work and talk about just anything, going out to lunch, etc, but, when he gets the "urge" for the other, oh my, he better be ready to control that. I will do my part but I need him to do his as well.

 

Please bear with me through this process.

[Owl]

When he tries to contact me again, how can I tactfully be direct without being rude?

 

Now you understand why I recommended that you BLOCK him from being able to contact you.

 

I get that you don't want to be rude...but....he's not going to understand anything less than being rude.

 

Block him from contacting you again just because he feels like it.

 

That's all you need to do. If he finds a way around that, the message should be "don't contact me again until you've done xx, yy, zz", whatever your actual requirements are in order to continue a relationship with him.

 

That point blank, that clear, that "rude" if you will.

 

He will not accept anything less than that.

[So Hurtful]

Grieve this like it's over, forever.

 

From what you've said, I believe it truly is over forever.

 

 

 

Nothing in the next week, month or year is going to change the above.

 

Stay strong, do the NC, post here, reach out to your friends, keep busy, but also allow yourself to grieve this loss so you can heal and feel better. Dont let yourself have hope that 'one day he'll be back'.

wwiu, thanks for the advice, and thanks for taking the time to dissect the message and highlighting the important factors that will never change, you are right. Obviously if he is not willing to accept those facts then there will never be a future together. I am doing my best at staying busy and have a support system besides you guys here at LS, 2 awesome friends and 2 cousins. It is hard not to do the "one day he'll be back" because I know he will be back but it is up to me to do the right thing when he reaches out to me.

[So Hurtful]

Now you understand why I recommended that you BLOCK him from being able to contact you.

 

I get that you don't want to be rude...but....he's not going to understand anything less than being rude.

 

Block him from contacting you again just because he feels like it.

 

That's all you need to do. If he finds a way around that, the message should be "don't contact me again until you've done xx, yy, zz", whatever your actual requirements are in order to continue a relationship with him.

 

That point blank, that clear, that "rude" if you will.

 

He will not accept anything less than that.

Owl, I honestly did not think he would be trying to reach out to me so soon! he NEEDS time, he ASKED for time alone!.

 

I don't mean to sound ignorant but do I block his number by contacting my cell phone provider? or is that something I can do from my phone?

 

I definitely do not like the feeling of him trying to contact me whenever HE FEELS LIKE IT, no way, what about me?? that is not fair to me.

[So Hurtful]

I hope you and the other posters on this thread who have recently gone NC fully do NC, as in do not sit and hope that today is the day he calls.

 

If these guys really loved you, they would be with you - ESPECIALLY after 22 months! Heavens, he expects you to believe he isn't so sure NOW, when he has been telling you all along it is just a marriage of name and nothing else? And NOW he is conflicted? Bull.

 

He knows you are done. Doesn't mean he won't drunk text/call you asking for a booty call under the "I miss you so much" disguise. I hope for your sake you don't take those calls or texts.

 

If he isn't sure today, he won't be sure tomorrow. If the marriage is so bad, why the need to take time? He has lied to you - he has led you on.

 

NC is hard. It will make you weep and make you think nothing good is ever going to happen in your life. BUT you survived without him before, you will survive again. Never should you have to sneak around or give him a cell phone so he can reach you. That is just yucky. How could he do that to you? How could he convince you that sneaking around was a good idea? Doesn't matter if you saw him on his birthday, met his sister, whatever. The fact of the matter is right now he has chosen his wife and has chosen to stay with someone he claims he has nothing with - no love, no chemistry, no intimacy - and let you go, the person he claimed to love, etc.

 

He has made his choice.

 

Good luck and stay strong.

Hi fooled once, you are right and thanks for stating the facts as they are, I will survive without him because I did for the last 18 years but thing is, I was not happy like I have been in the last 22 months. I never experienced love and it is a wonderful feeling to love, to give, it made me happy. But I want more as well, I was hanging on because he implied we would have a future together but this cannot be dragged any longer. I also understand if he is not sure today he will not be sure tomorrow. I do not question his love for me, but it is not enough to get up and leave everything that he has built behind and start over, to leave his kids and only see them on certain days and so on, and if he was to marry me, live in a household with someone else's kids!! but, if that is a problem for him, then his "love" for me is not real uh? because I love him with all my heart even though he comes with the complete package as well!! People divorce everyday so if someone wants to do it, they will, but obviously he DOES NOT WANT TO at the moment, he is not ready. I do not think we would be the ones inventing the blended families concept!! other people have done it. Bottomline is he is not ready to make a move and I need to move on and that is exactly what I plan to do. If he does not value what I bring to the table, time for me to grieve, heal and move on.

 

I know the cell thing was yucky. Shame on me. The stupid things some of us do in the name of "love"!!!

[So Hurtful]

I feel your pain I really do. NC is the toughest, but it does get easier, just 2 weeks in I was feeling better. I blocked everything online, deleted his mobile number. We have a lot of mutual friends, so blocking on FB really helped. You don't need to know what is going on his life, that he is carrying on like normal, when you feel like your life is falling apart. I initially couldn't get my head around after all he said, he choose his wife. But if you accept it, and work through the feelings it does get easier. You have to work through them to get to the otherside. I wish you the best of luck and a virtual hug, look after you and be strong, one day at a time.

 

Louise.

Thanks for your words of encouragement Choose Life (Louise), they make me feel better. I am taking it one day at a time and I am concentrating on myself and my kiddos!

[Snowflower]

 

I know the cell thing was yucky. Shame on me. The stupid things some of us do in the name of "love"!!!

 

I know this isn't what you are asking in your thread, but why did you give him a cell phone under your account? Why do you feel it is yucky now?

 

I am not having a "go" at you, I am just trying to understand why someone would do this.

 

Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon.

[So Hurtful]

I think the question she should be asking is, how could I do that to myself?

 

I am not holier than thou as I have my fair share of embarrassing behavior under my belt. But I am learning that the only to "stay strong" is to understand why you allowed certain behaviors.

 

In the coming days and months of NC, it will be helpful to focus less on him (i.e. Why did HE do that, or what was HE thinking) and focus more on yourself (i.e. Why did I do that, or what was I thinking) because if you don't understand your WHATS and WHYs of this affair you are vulnerable to having another one in the future.

 

So, underneath all of your bad feelings about him and the breakup, underneath all the sadness and possibly anger --what do you feel?

 

When I asked myself these questions, the answer that kept coming back over and over again was fear. Mostly fear that I could not make it alone --so instead of waiting alone until the right man came along, I immediately took whatever was offered to me.

 

I wish you the very best on your journey!

SBC, thanks for suggesting to focus on myself and my feelings and the WHY's and WHAT's of this affair. I know I will not subject myself to another one in the future. I don't feel comfortable with new people and when MM came back into my life (he was my boyfriend 18 years ago) and swept me off my feet by telling me I was the love of his life, that he never stopped loving me, etc., etc., etc. I fell for it fast!! I believed every single word coming out of his mouth!! I was so naive to believe him but he is a good actor let me tell you. We should invent the Oscars for men like him. I cannot believe he took me for a fool because I consider myself a smart person and I do not open up just to anyone, but I always trusted him, he seemed so honest and genuine.

 

I have never been alone, I have always had a relationship and that is actually something I look forward to, being alone because that is something I have never experienced. I am afraid of ending up alone but I believe that will make me a stronger person, I should not depend on anyone else emotionally.

 

Tanks for your words!

[So Hurtful]

I am so sorry it came to this. I had hoped things would work out for you. This relationship was unique indeed with the marriage thing. I am just so filled with anger right now. All of this sh*t is just a waste. It's a waste of time and f*cking energy. Be happy that you are no longer wasting your time. It doesn't seem that way now but one day it will. Keep chin up.

Hi Emme, actually, after he told me about the informal marriage thing, my perception and feelings towards our relationship changed immediately. I did not take that well and thus is why I am at this stage, ready for the next step. I want all or nothing. I do not want to hide anymore and if he cannot give me that, then it is time for me to step to the side and move on. I do not want to sound arrogant or anything but, if he is so unhappy as he says he is at home, I feel sorry for him because he will continue to not do anything about changing the situation to perhaps improve his relationship with her and he is risking loosing me because I will keep moving forward with my life while he continues to be stuck in his "unhappy" marriage. He asked for time and I am happy to give him that but I am still living my own life, I wanted him to be part of it but not under the current circumstances and he knows it well. I will not be with someone that does not make me feel special and shows it.

[So Hurtful]

I know this isn't what you are asking in your thread, but why did you give him a cell phone under your account? Why do you feel it is yucky now?

 

I am not having a "go" at you, I am just trying to understand why someone would do this.

 

Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon.

Hi Snowflower, well, we decided to get the phone so we could "freely" text and call each other because we were doing this all day long while at work. If he would have used his "personal" phone, he would have taken a risk at being discovered when the statement was mailed to his house and if it included a detailed report of all calls and texts. I feel it is yucky because if he was the one that needed to "hide" he should have been the one to get it under his name/account, whatever, but I always made everything so easy for him.

[Snowflower]

Hi Snowflower, well, we decided to get the phone so we could "freely" text and call each other because we were doing this all day long while at work. If he would have used his "personal" phone, he would have taken a risk at being discovered when the statement was mailed to his house and if it included a detailed report of all calls and texts. I feel it is yucky because if he was the one that needed to "hide" he should have been the one to get it under his name/account, whatever, but I always made everything so easy for him.

 

I agree that it was pretty low that he even asked you to do this. Yes, you agreed to it, but still low of him. It was like he wanted to make you complicit in his betrayal of his wife. eeww!

 

Anyway, thank you for answering. The reason I asked was because my H's OW gave him a cellphone that was under her plan. However, that was a completely different situation than the one you describe here. Again, thank you for the discussion.