Friends?

[Ann]

A couple of months ago, I broke down and told one of my best friends how I felt about him. I had been holding it in for a long time, afraid that he wouldn't feel the same. But one of my friends told me he had confided to her that he had feelings for me as well, so I let him know.

 

When we talked, after getting past the awkwardness, he seemed interested in the idea, and I would catch him looking at me sometimes when he thought I didn't notice, little things like that. I was thrilled, cause I really feel strongly about this guy. But there's a problem. One of his best friends has shown interest in me as well - a guy that I don't have any feeling for at all! I think he is putting me off because he doesn't want to hurt his friend. I just wish I knew for sure if this is the reason. Because it's been a while since we talked about "us", it seems awkward to bring it up again. But he does little things that makes it seem like he's interested. Like the other night we fixed dinner together, and he went around and lit all the candles around the table. But he never made a move. So what am I supposed to think?

 

I just know that the way I feel about this other guy, knowing how he feels about me, I would never encourage him by doing something that might make him think I like him. So why would my guy friend do these things, knowing how I feel about him? Is he interested, or am I reading into it?

[Deejette]

I think the friend you like should be more agressively letting you know what his feelings are. You have already laid your cards on the table. How many more times can you hint at him that you would like more than friendship? If he isn't meeting you at least part of the way with his feelings and actions, then he may not be as interested in romance as you are. You can let him know that you are really not interested in the other guy and then wait for his response.

 

But it sounds like both of you are afraid of letting go and expressing your feelings. Each is waiting for the other, maybe. Someone has to break the deadlock, and I think for your sanity, you should do it, just to know where you stand.

A couple of months ago, I broke down and told one of my best friends how I felt about him. I had been holding it in for a long time, afraid that he wouldn't feel the same. But one of my friends told me he had confided to her that he had feelings for me as well, so I let him know.

 

When we talked, after getting past the awkwardness, he seemed interested in the idea, and I would catch him looking at me sometimes when he thought I didn't notice, little things like that. I was thrilled, cause I really feel strongly about this guy. But there's a problem. One of his best friends has shown interest in me as well - a guy that I don't have any feeling for at all! I think he is putting me off because he doesn't want to hurt his friend. I just wish I knew for sure if this is the reason. Because it's been a while since we talked about "us", it seems awkward to bring it up again. But he does little things that makes it seem like he's interested. Like the other night we fixed dinner together, and he went around and lit all the candles around the table. But he never made a move. So what am I supposed to think? I just know that the way I feel about this other guy, knowing how he feels about me, I would never encourage him by doing something that might make him think I like him. So why would my guy friend do these things, knowing how I feel about him? Is he interested, or am I reading into it?

[Jenna]

I hope I got this right.... you like guy 1- and guy 2 likes you. It is possible that guy 1 likes you also- but you can't tell because guy 1 and 2 are friends.

 

Okay- if you have an interest in guy 1- for God's sake- TELL HIM!! He is probably- waiting for you to give him the green light. Since you haven't- he is respecting the possibility that you could be interested in his friend.

 

How good of friends are these guys anyways?? I mean- not to know that the other is interested- or worse- not to care.

 

Step up to the plate- and give it your best swing- if things end up not the way you thought- at least you will know and be able to move on.

 

Good Luck- Jenna

A couple of months ago, I broke down and told one of my best friends how I felt about him. I had been holding it in for a long time, afraid that he wouldn't feel the same. But one of my friends told me he had confided to her that he had feelings for me as well, so I let him know.

 

When we talked, after getting past the awkwardness, he seemed interested in the idea, and I would catch him looking at me sometimes when he thought I didn't notice, little things like that. I was thrilled, cause I really feel strongly about this guy. But there's a problem. One of his best friends has shown interest in me as well - a guy that I don't have any feeling for at all! I think he is putting me off because he doesn't want to hurt his friend. I just wish I knew for sure if this is the reason. Because it's been a while since we talked about "us", it seems awkward to bring it up again. But he does little things that makes it seem like he's interested. Like the other night we fixed dinner together, and he went around and lit all the candles around the table. But he never made a move. So what am I supposed to think? I just know that the way I feel about this other guy, knowing how he feels about me, I would never encourage him by doing something that might make him think I like him. So why would my guy friend do these things, knowing how I feel about him? Is he interested, or am I reading into it?