One Year and Still Not Enough Time.

[LostInTurn]

When I first graced these threads, I was heart broken. Seeking all the answers many of us come here to find.

 

I found inspiration in the posts where someone would say how one year later they felt so much better. I remember thinking if only I could fast forward. Well, here I am a little over one year later.

 

I was doing well. There were times when he'd cross my mind, but that dissipated after awhile. Then there was a time when I really didn't hunk of him, at all.

 

About two months ago, he emailed me. His message consisted of one sentence on FB message: 'Nice picture... I loved that dress' The photo was of me when I was at a work event with him. It took me awhile to respond, but eventually I did. He asked questions and I could tell he wanted to talk. However, I couldn't. All I could remember was how terrible he was to me when it all ended. I couldn't, and don't forgive him. However, I can't nor do I think I want to move on. I've gone on dates and I've tried at relationships. But I always think of him. I'm not over him. A part of me wants to ask him why after all this time he reached out. I'm afraid to thought because I don't want him to get the wrong impression. I don't know what impression that is because if we're still messaging one another after all this time, there's obviously an underlying meaning.

 

I know many people would say not to. But enough time has passed that we should be able to be adults and not force silence? I don't know.

[january2011]

I know many people would say not to. But enough time has passed that we should be able to be adults and not force silence?

 

You're starting to spiral again, so nope, not enough time has passed. Sure, there are some people who have to go the LC route but the translation of NC is not a stubborn-childish-I'm-in-a-huff-I'm-not-going-to-speak-to-you. It's more like we're-not-together-anymore-I-need-to-spend -some-time-by-myself-for-a-while-please-don't-contact-me.

 

In my opinion, part of being an adult is recognising people who are good for us and people who are bad for us. And not purposefully putting ourselves into situations which we know are unnecessary and only serve to make us feel bad. Unless you work with your ex, have children together, financial ties, there's no reason to see or speak to him to prove that you're an adult. You don't really 'need' him in your life, even if a part of you still wants him there.

 

With regard to dating and other relationships, if you're not there yet, then you're not there yet. Give it time.

[Farrah]

One year is a long time. My husband and I are not talking. Hes violent infidel and abusive throughout the obne yr weve been married. Today I went to a spa and the THai girl who gave me a massage said something. I want to share it with you.She said her husband got involved with another woman 6 months she moved in with her mother, once he tested the waters he told her he could not fingd another like him. They are back together after 6 months seperation.Get back but crease out the differences with him and make rules orelse it will blow up again.

 

 

When I first graced these threads, I was heart broken. Seeking all the answers many of us come here to find.

 

I found inspiration in the posts where someone would say how one year later they felt so much better. I remember thinking if only I could fast forward. Well, here I am a little over one year later.

 

I was doing well. There were times when he'd cross my mind, but that dissipated after awhile. Then there was a time when I really didn't hunk of him, at all.

 

About two months ago, he emailed me. His message consisted of one sentence on FB message: 'Nice picture... I loved that dress' The photo was of me when I was at a work event with him. It took me awhile to respond, but eventually I did. He asked questions and I could tell he wanted to talk. However, I couldn't. All I could remember was how terrible he was to me when it all ended. I couldn't, and don't forgive him. However, I can't nor do I think I want to move on. I've gone on dates and I've tried at relationships. But I always think of him. I'm not over him. A part of me wants to ask him why after all this time he reached out. I'm afraid to thought because I don't want him to get the wrong impression. I don't know what impression that is because if we're still messaging one another after all this time, there's obviously an underlying meaning.

 

I know many people would say not to. But enough time has passed that we should be able to be adults and not force silence? I don't know.

[Farrah]

One year is a long time. My husband and I are not talking. Hes violent infidel and abusive throughout the obne yr weve been married. Today I went to a spa and the THai girl who gave me a massage said something. I want to share it with you.She said her husband got involved with another woman 6 months she moved in with her mother, once he tested the waters he told her he could not fingd another like him. They are back together after 6 months seperation.Get back but crease out the differences with him and make rules orelse it will blow up again.

 

* I know a close friend shook me up today and said I see you dead if you let him hit you again its getting bad to worse his cheating anfd his abuse. She said take one year off just for yourself focus on school love yourself if he really loves you he will come bk.They say...if you love someone set him free if he comes back he was yours if he doesnt he never was...hope that helps...hes showing signs of comeback

[TLCbear]

I agree with january2011. Not sure why you consider NC as "force" silence. NC is for you to heal, it's not some childish game. It obvious that you are not over this guy, so why cause yourself more pain by talking to him? Most importantly, you still haven't forgave him, which means you are still holding on to past hurt.