Haven't seen her in a month. Other men constantly pursuing her for sex.

[faux]

The object of my affection has been quite busy the past month, which means that I've not had a chance to see her. We talk frequently on the phone, but I am of course bummed that a month has gone by with no plans made. This Saturday seems tentative, but I won't really be settled with my insecurities until I get a chance to speak with her in person about them.

 

I'm a bit bothered by her friends. Several of her co-workers have been making sexual advances toward her. One week a male co-worker drove to her house, and asked her to just get in the car and talk. He was drunk, and high, and according to her would not keep his hands off of her. She yelled at him, got out of the car, and then phoned me disgusted.

 

Another friend of hers was for quite some time insisting on either a relationship, or simply just sex with her. Again, she went into great detail about the events, and finally believes he got the idea that there is no chance. He hasn't bothered her for a month about this, but still it makes me worry about her. He has, in the past, attempted to pressure her into doing things when she is alone.

 

This evening she phoned me explaining yet another incident. Another 18 year old male co-worker needed a ride to work. After she dropped off her son at home, she came back to the car to discover that he had his manhood whipped out. She yelled at him to put it away, and just drove him to work rather disgusted. This co-worker, as you can guess, went from just being a friend to making sexual advances toward her quite frequently.

 

Later in this same evening, she had a meeting at work in which the other 18 year old co-worker hung around her car afterward, and didn't want to leave her alone. I find it rather uncomfortable that she gets advances from so many guys, especially ones that act as though they are her friends, while they obviously want to have sex with her.

 

I worry about her safety, but she insists that they are 18 and harmless. Still, I do not know why she is associating with these people. To me they do not seem to be people she should want to hang out with, or let drive to her home. I mean, whipping out your penis in her car, or trying to force her into pleasuring you while drunk and high to me is simply unacceptable.

 

It is the combination of me not being able to see her for a month, and hearing about these sorts of things happening which really bug me. I'm of course glad that she's very honest about what goes on in her life, and glad that she denies them and is not interested. It's reassuring to know that she is comfortable with such activities and subjects with me, that she stays in contact with me and still shows an interest. However, not having seen her for some time, and knowing that these creeps hang around her does bother me.

 

Perhaps I will get to see her this Saturday, or soon enough, so that I can discuss my feelings with her openly in person. I don't want to talk about this sort of thing over the phone. I'll know where things stand when we spend time together again, but in the meanwhile I'm really not too happy about these things. In a few ways, I'm starting to phone her much less, and go off and do other things. I'm getting the impression that she is just far too busy to make any time for me, and her reassuring me over a telephone isn't helping to ease the problem.

 

I'll know when next I see her, but I just wanted to get this off of my chest for the evening. I've known her for quite a number of years, and the idea of her associating with people who do these sorts of things is unsettling to me. Additionally, their behavior I feel could be a reason that she has been "so busy" lately to see me. She has been admittedly disgusted with men prior to this, yet I have never fallen into this category. Now that intimacy has been mixed into our relationship, I wonder if perhaps she doesn't want to see me for fear that this is all that I want now.

 

I'll repeat myself one more time, then quit: I'll know when I can sit down and talk to her about it. Until then, oh boy.

[Thinkalot]

Good luck...hang in there. Hope you can sort it all out face to face, and feel more comfortable.

[moimeme]

What sort of job does she have?

[faux]

Originally posted by moimeme

What sort of job does she have?

 

Not a very involved one, seeing as we are still in our early 20s. She works at one of those Panera bread locations. It involves mostly running the register, and all such other various aspects of this type of setting. I'm busy myself, but that involves college. ::shrug::

 

From my experiences, I cannot say I am surprised that these types of people work with her in this type of job. I have lately just been spending a lot of time with friends, so as to keep my time filled even more. I find it helps to ease the confusion over this situation.

[moimeme]

So, really, it's unlikely she'd have different workmates. Certainly she could complain to the manager about the harrassment. She can also tell all of her co-workers that she does not appreciate those sorts of overtures. Finally, she can quit giving them rides or taking rides.

[Jonny Madness]

I was once with a girl who always had these same types of stories about other guys. They always involve sex, and nothing ever happens.......sorry, but I didn't believe that I was getting the full story, and I would say that you're not either. She's either giving you a story that would check out if you happen to hear something from someone else, or she's creating fantasies to make you jealous. This would show you that she is desirable to other guys, and more of a challenge - and we all want to be a challenge.

 

I know many people lead strange lives, but come one! These types of things don't happen every day, so why would they be so frequent with her? If she's lying, there's a reason to forget about her. If this stuff is happening, she obviously hangs with scum, and I would judge her by the company she keeps.

 

My advice - Get rid of it, fast!

 

Jonny Madness

[faux]

Originally posted by moimeme

So, really, it's unlikely she'd have different workmates. Certainly she could complain to the manager about the harrassment. She can also tell all of her co-workers that she does not appreciate those sorts of overtures. Finally, she can quit giving them rides or taking rides.

 

The incidents happened out of work environment. The person came to her home to 'hang out' and ended up trying to initiate sex while intoxicated. She claims to have disassociated herself from this guy, as he really freaks her out. The other one, well he whipped out his penis when she came back to her own car (He was in that car) after putting her 2 year old son inside. Very, very freaky but she insisted he is harmless.

 

I do not think that management would involve themselves in this. Additionally, she had her butt grabbed several times by a manager at her old job, and an old employee of her present job used to make rude comments to her. She complained, but nothing ever came of it for some reason.

 

Originally posted by Jonny Madness

I was once with a girl who always had these same types of stories about other guys. They always involve sex, and nothing ever happens.......sorry, but I didn't believe that I was getting the full story, and I would say that you're not either. She's either giving you a story that would check out if you happen to hear something from someone else, or she's creating fantasies to make you jealous. This would show you that she is desirable to other guys, and more of a challenge - and we all want to be a challenge.

 

I know many people lead strange lives, but come one! These types of things don't happen every day, so why would they be so frequent with her? If she's lying, there's a reason to forget about her. If this stuff is happening, she obviously hangs with scum, and I would judge her by the company she keeps.

 

My advice - Get rid of it, fast!

 

Jonny Madness

 

This is what I have been feeling and wondering over. As I said before, I am waiting until I see her face-to-face again before I ask her anything. I let her call me, and I do not make an effort to phone her very often anymore. I am fed up with the company that she is keeping, and I am fed up with the fact that she has had "no time" and has been "very busy" for the past month.

 

Again, I would rather be face-to-face with her to tell her: "I am displeased that for the past month you have been 'very busy' and could not see me. I would think you could find time on a day off or weekend to come visit me. Instead, you spend time with a guy who constantly talks about sex with you, and whips out his penis in your vehicle. I'd like an explanation as to that, and I want it to be very clear that not seeing you for so long, and you apparently hanging out with these people bothers me quite a bit."

 

There are other things, such as since a death to someone close to her she has not spoken on the phone as much, but I suppose I can provide some leeway to that.

 

I have known this woman for about 5 years, and it is true she tends to hang around the wrong types of guys. She wants friends, but the "friends" eventually show true colors and just want to have sex with her. She's quite attractive, has an outgoing personality, and honestly I can understand why people could get the wrong idea from her. Having a female friend with a son, who likes to go out to dinner with you and your other friends means "Friend" and NOT "She wants you". These sorts of things have happened infrequently in the past.

 

Rest assured that when I see her next there is going to be a rather long discussion about things. If I am not fully satisfied in my own mind with what she has to respond with, and am left with NO doubts, then I am going to forget about the entire situation.

 

Until then, I have my high protein Power Bars, Boost shakes, and my weight room. Ah, and a few good friends to pass the time with