Heartache3 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Hey all, I hope you're all enjoying the red leaves and crisp Autumn air this October! I sure am!! So I've posted on this board a few times and you have all been a wonderful help. For those who don't know me, here's some short background info: ex-gf broke up with me in late February after a 3 year relationship completely out of the blue, left me for some other guy, on and off contact every few months (attempting several times to be friends, to no avail). Finally told her in early Sept that I was still not over her, please don't contact me and respect my space, etc. Well she tried to understand this, but got pretty nasty with me over our last phone conversation early Sept. I won't go into the details much, but she basically accused me of being "weak" for not being able to be friends. Even after I tried to sway her thinking by sending off an email and saying I forgave her (in retrospect, totally unnecessary), she stuck to her guns and said she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Fine, I thought. I can't make her think a certain way about me, she doesn't understand the pain I am feeling. Despite my vain attempts to end on good terms, I decided from there on I was going to commit fully to NC. However, just last Saturday I got an email from her. In a nutshell, she just said that she was really sorry for being such a b***h to me. She wants to deeply apologize to me and wants to take back her last words over our last phone conversation. Then she was apparently remorseful about her decisions, saying that S (the guy she left me for, but they ended up breaking it off late June) was the worst person she has ever met, and that our 3 yr relationship was the best she ever had. She finished it by telling me what she was up to. And that she doesn't go a day without wanting to talk to me as a friend, her family misses me very much, but all in all she respects my space. 8 months on, and I will honestly say my heart skipped a few beats reading this (especially the family-misses-you part, because I was unbelievably close to her family), but in NO WAY did it tempt me to break NC. In fact, it was kind of nice. It was a stroke to my ego in a sense, knowing she was thinking about me. In the last month, being super busy in my 3rd year of college, I have thought little of her. 2 or 3 months ago I was still clinging onto a false hope, but after being honest with her and not taking this email as an excuse to get back into contact, I feel pretty empowered. I have my down days, when work is done and my mind drifts. But now it's more about missing the company of a sweet loving woman, someone who's hair always smells so good when she leans up against me and who loves getting evening foot-rubs, someone to cuddle and kiss on the couch. That kind of stuff. I know the right woman is out there, somewhere... it's just a matter of time. Thanks for reading this guys. To all those new dumpees out there, my words of advice: don't fall for those breadcrumbs, they're not going to satisfy your hunger. Don't get tangled up in a "friendship" when you know you still love them. And above all, NC all the way guys! Let this be a time to focus on yourself, no matter how hard it might be without that person. Trust me, it works wonders. 8 months on and I'm already feeling good again. And it can certainly happen to you too, if you try! Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Way to be strong man, I feel the same way as you. I really only think about my ex when things get slow or I am feeling down about something else. I too really only miss having a loving woman to cuddle up with and everything else. As far as actually missing my ex as a person I really don't miss her much. I bet getting that email was pretty satisfying, again props on not breaking nc. Link to post Share on other sites
jyoun Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Just imagine how much better it'll feel snuggling up to someone who truly loves you the same way you love them. That, I imagine, will be worth more then anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Bruised Not Broken Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I'm so happy for you...you sound strong and in a great place!!! Inspirational. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I envy you it's been more than a year and I haven't heard one word. Link to post Share on other sites
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