The Art of Letting Go..

[lalalandman]

ok I'm really confused. Mack, are you married? I thought I read that you were married, but then I read that you are 2 months NC with your ex gf in this post. Can you clarify please.

 

GoingNowhere, I think Mack, although a little harsh in his wording, was just looking to give you sound advice. But even if he's wrong, I think you should realize that you're still able to be put off balance, just by somebody else's words. Try focusing on becoming unshakable.

[lalalandman]

Ok, cool, just sayin

[Farrah]

mkprojects a nice link...you are very wise brother:rolleyes:

 

 

I have read so many posts on LS since the start of May (when I joined). For most of us letting go is an extremely hard and stressful process to go through. I used to read this everytime I was close to breaking NC (which was like hundreds of times).

 

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference"

 

Every breakup is unique, the problems/issues maybe similar, but each breakup in itself is unique as are the people involved. We hear all the time about how "special" these relationships are. I have lost count of the number of LS posters describing their relationship as "special". This is a very true statement. We are all special, so when we meet someone that we consider to be 'special', then what we experience is an amazing and joyous period in our lives. When we lose that 'special' bond, it is truly utterly devastating. Our whole rational thought process goes out the window. I remember after my last breakup my mother/sister saying to me..."Mack you are not thinking clearly". I was saying to them "yes I am!" or "what the hell does that mean I'm not thinking clearly?". I now know what they meant by that. I have seen so many posters on LS get great from follow posters and completely ignore it. Why? Because they are not thinking rationally.

 

The harsh reality is there is nothing you can do to get an ex back, when they leave. Here are a few rules I believe dumpee's should follow...

 

1) Begging, Pleading and Manipulating are an absolute NO NO. Your ex has made a decision to leave. This is their decision to make and if you respect them then you have to respect their decision.

 

2) If you truly love your ex then you put their needs above your own. You have to set them free. Too many people love how their ex's made them feel about themselves. This is not real love. Real love is putting your partners needs above your own. Even if that means they meet someone else. If they ask to be left alone, you leave them alone.

 

3) It's been said a million times on this site, but you have to go NC and stay NC. This is savage hard, but it is a must! Explain to you ex friendship is not an option and that you will not respond to them UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (Ok if a family members of theirs dies then obviously u can't ignore but besides these rare occurrences you have to stay NC at all times). You must not respond to breadcrumbs. When a dumper offers breadcrumbs, it is for their selfish reasons and you now need to take your ex off the high pedestal you put them on..They are putting their needs above yours (the opposite of real love) and any breadcrumb should be seen as a red flag. Not a potential opportunity to get back together.

 

You must not checkup on Facebook/MSN/Twitter. In fact block them from these applications. How many threads have we seen asking the question "should I break NC?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

No contact is about your healing. It is a must to stay NC for 2 months. You have no idea how much you are helping yourself by doing this.

 

4) Feel your feelings. Don't avoid them. We focus on other people/rebound/over excessive drinking/eating etc etc because we are afraid to focus on our own feelings. Here is a great article on what I am referring to when I say "Feel your feelings" -> http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_emotions.html

 

5) Focus on YOU! How many times do we read threads by LS members looking for explanations about their ex's behavior. Eventually it will click that it doesn't matter. What matters is focusing on you and you alone. Going over questions endlessly is pointless as you will never get the clarity you seek. It is also very detrimental to your recovery.

[Mack05]

Don't insult me. You don't know anything about me. Don't assume you know me

 

I wasn't going to reply to this aimless drivel, but what the heck. I every right to defend myself. Tell me how exactly how do you know me GNF3? You are new poster. It seems you have gone through all my posts to try get a better understanding of me (I mean how pathetic is that!), but you have NO IDEA who I am or what I have been through. You have the nerve to criticise me for not knowing you. Now that is funny.

 

Firstly who comes onto a thread (which has received mainly positive reviews) and makes such a pointless, negative statement(s)? All I did was point out that you are an angry woman, full of resentment. That is not a good way to be after a year NC. That is just stating the obvious. Unlike what you did to me, It was not a personal attack. I am not the only one that thinks your anger is not good after a year NC. I have 6 PM's asking me why you are so angry and what your problem is. There are no insults there. I was just offering you advice. If you don't agree with it that is fine, there is no need to stoop so low in your reply.

 

This coming from a guy who admitted to abusing his ex in the past' date=' focusing on what was wrong with her, getting caught by his ex on this site, claiming to leave and still come back[/i']

 

You have absolutely no idea what the hell you are talking about. All you have done in your 'attack' is falsely assume many incorrect things about me. I may have criticized some of my ex's choices in the past and I may have being judgemental at times in the relationship. She felt at the time this was "emotional abuse". I agreed with her, because I saw how hurt she was. I therefore stopped doing it. I never got the chance to make it up to her. After therapy and reflection, I do not believe I ever abused my ex. Sure, I had no right to criticise her past choices or judge her. Lesson learnt (believe me). That makes me a bad boyfriend maybe. Abuser!? No.

 

In the main, I treated my ex girlfriend very well. I could list many things I did, but I don't need validation from someone like you. So why don't get your facts straight, before throwing mud at me on my own thread. Are you hoping this mud slinging will stick? I mean what exactly do you have against me? My reply to you did not deserve your venomous retort. Have you never made mistakes before? So tell me this, because I have made mistakes in the past like everyone else on this forum, does that mean I get judged for those mistakes for the rest of my life? Does that mean that I am mentally 'sick'? I won't let people like you judge me or cast dispersions about me. Instead, I will rise above people like you and prove them wrong everyday for the rest of my life.

 

So full of anger like you were to your ex? So much so that you stalked her and tried to convince her as well as yourself that she was the problem and not you?

 

Please with all your knowledge about me, please explain how I stalked my ex or how I was so full of anger? So, I did what alot of people do at the end of a relationship. I begged and pleaded and made an idiot of myself for about two weeks (would make contact every 4 days or so). So in your eyes that makes me a stalker? Do you know anything about my ex, or is she this perfect woman who happened to date a horrible person like me? Or are you my ex (new poster who seems to know everything about me)? If so why didn't you ever have the guts and class to ever talk to me face to face? I was never in anyway a threat to you, instead you stalk me on an internet forum for the second time. Seriously you have no idea what you are talking about GNF3. My ex has more issues, then I will ever have. At least I have confronted mine and have dealt/dealing with them. I don't deny that they even exist.

 

I didn't jump into a relationship' date=' you did[/i']

 

I never realised being single 4 months, grieving, healing and going to Therapy twice a week was 'jumping' into a new relationship. Tell me GNF3 what do you know of my new relationship? Do you know if its serious?Are we still together? Do you know if we are taking our time and building a friendship first, or are we consummating like rabbits ala FWB? What exactly did I jump into?

 

I have accomplished great things since a year ago' date=' and happier and more confident since a year ago, and it shows because men have thrown themselves at me (which I decline)[/i']

 

It's hard to find credibility in your stance about how strong you are when you choose a negative moniker "going nowhere fast" and being so bitter in her post about moving on? Besides, if you have to tell people men throw themselves at you to justify how strong and confident you are, that says a lot about how you really feel. That's like a person saying over and over again they're a good person, if you're good you don't have to say it, it will shine through and people will know it. Maybe you are just not a good person..

 

You don't know nothin' about me' date=' so don't make false accusations about where I am, and who I am. Don't freaking question me about why I "stayed" in the relationship when you "stayed" in your relationship too when she treated YOU oh so bad. So why did YOU stay? Self esteem issues much??[/i']

 

Where are these false accusations? Look at your replies on this thread. All I said is that you are angry and bitter. Guess what, you are!! and everyone would agree with me. If you don't like what I have to say, stay of my thread. It helps most people and that is why I do it. I have no problem admitting that I stayed in my last relationship too long, because I had self esteem issues or that at times I projected onto her. It's the biggest lesson, that I have learnt in the past few years. If you are not happy and content within yourself, you cannot be happy and content in a relationship. I have made mistakes. Done things I am not proud of. Guess what I am not perfect GNF3, but I am a strong character. I have learnt from those mistakes and I try to pass on my harsh lessons to others, so that they don't make those same mistakes and endure these tough times like I did. It's called being a caring person. Sure my advice is not always appreciated but my heart is in the right place, which certainly cannot be said of you.

 

Not one person here can say they aren't filled with anger from their situation' date=' so what was your point by saying that about me? Then you have the have the nerve to call me bitter and resentful without even knowing me or the situation, and when you are the one who are all of those things.[/i']

 

I agree there are angry people on this site, but show me one that is so full of anger like you after a year?. I don't need to know about you or your situation. Any therapist on the planet would tell you it's not good to hold onto that anger for so long. I was only explaining this to you and telling you that it is not healthy. There was no mean intent there. I was only trying to help. There was no need to be so nasty in your reply.

 

Don't be surprised when after you've attacked someone that they come back at you. I am defending myself after you've overstepped your boundaries. It must be something you are not used to seeing as how you were the aggressor toward your ex' date=' who was in turn the helpless, scared and confused woman. Funny. Can dish it out but can never take it.[/i']

 

I ask again where is the personal attack on you? I don't dish anything out. I try to advice as best I can to help people. Again I ask the question how do you know my ex was helpless, scared and confused? By her crazy aimless attack on me on this site?. Does that mean she is right and I am wrong?. You have never heard both sides of the story (I could tell you many cruel things she did to me), so I ask again who are you to judge me and label me? You come onto a thread and ruin it with all your vile nonsense and personal attacks. I mean how selfish can you get? Why open your mouth on this thread, why not create a new thread? It may not have helped you, but it was helping others. This is a site where we help each other. Not launch unnecessary cruel, untrue personal attacks.

 

PS: I know you will be reading this post. When your ex posted to you came back numerous times even after you claimed you wouldn't. Shows your character.

 

That is correct. After my ex's attack on me I had intended to leave. I was embrassed (like I am right now arguing with you) and felt it best I leave LS. I didn't want to bring the tone of this great site down. After awhile I realised trying to help people, is far more important then any embrassment I might suffer. I will continue to post here, even after you have lashed back at me 4 or 5 more times on this thread. Sure I may get some haters like you, but I like to think I contribute positively on this board. I get many people talk to me in private messaging asking for my help. I do my best to try help them out. Tell me what are your positive contributions on this site?. BTW, I have real character and I don't need to prove myself to you.

 

So reading my own post I would say I am much better off than you. You weren't even half accurate in your pyscho analysis of me. Quit focusing on me and focus on your own issues. God knows you have many.

 

I will let others by the judge of that.... by the way, I know my flaws. I will always try to work hard and be a better person. You should try it.

 

 

I will not be replying to you anymore because I am above all this back and forth nonsense. Unlike you GNF3, I come to this site to help people, not engage in pathetic tit for tat's or spout negative aimless drivel like you. I mean what exactly do you offer this site? Why not try to help people? Or are you not capable of helping others because you are too selfish? There is ALOT I could say about you as a person, but I refuse to stoop to your 'level'. Go knock yourself out. I will not be replying to you. People on this site are not dumb. They know the kind of person you are...I don't (and I won't) need to reply to you anymore. I have blocked your username, as I have no wish to further engage with someone like you. My defence is rested.

Edited October 14, 2011 by Mack05

[Mack05]

ok I'm really confused. Mack, are you married? GoingNowhere, I think Mack, although a little harsh in his wording, was just looking to give you sound advice. But even if he's wrong, I think you should realize that you're still able to be put off balance, just by somebody else's words. Try focusing on becoming unshakable

 

No mate, never been and would never have posted that here..As for GNF3 no matter what she replies, there was no need for the lashing...My criticism was said contructively and although a little harsh, there was no need for personal attacks...

Edited October 14, 2011 by Mack05

[EgoJoe]

For all of Mack's real faults, projected and supposed faults there is a positive aspect to his personality.

 

Relating his own shortcomings to others to help them through a dark time. I have personally been on this side of things and it helped me greatly. He gives sound advice and doesn't issue 100% blame on either side from the breakup that brought him here.

 

I would encourage the protagonist and all others reading to realize the sheer connotation of perspective in this "flame war" and advise against revealing personal information or using an obvious screen name.

 

Keep your head up, Mack. I know you're trying to change for the better. I know you're not projecting all of the things you have learned so as to avoid fault and are not embracing egotistical defense mechanisms as a way of coping. Hats off to you man!

Edited October 14, 2011 by EgoJoe

[geegirl]

Mack,

 

It's unfortunate that your attempt to help and motivate those that are in need has turned vile and ugly. I believe you've gained and maintained credibility through your efforts and all your time invested on this forum, trying to help those in need by sharing what you've learnt and grasped from your experiences, and lessons from your past. So, head up and keep up the good work!!

 

In any case, I hope the moderators lock this thread.

[PelicanPete]

Haters gonna hate

 

Whether GNWF holds any truth value to her rambling, it is irrelevant to the useful information you've provided for those in emotional distress. Maybe GNWF should take a better look.

 

I don't really care whether you were the devil or a saint in the past. I see you now as a good guy that has come a long way from when you joined and that's all that matters to me. I'm not going to judge you for who you use to be, but for who you are now.

[Mack05]

Guys thanks for the support. To be honest I haven't laughed that much in years, so I should thank this nutjob. I haven't had to 'change'. I have always been a good man with a good heart. Have I made mistakes? Of course, but I have learnt my lessons and will continue to be a good man and continue to help out on LS. And no nutjob, I am not defending myself against you. I will let to good people of LS decide who the 'monster' is here. You are right about one thing, I don't know you (sure I don't haha) but I do know you are 5 cans short of a six pack. That is very apparent.

 

GNF..

 

There are two types of anger: explosive and implosive..

 

Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store"...GNF you are the cashier. It's not only Therapy you need for a VERY long time but a serious SERIOUS dose of anger management..

Edited October 15, 2011 by Mack05

[Mack05]

GNF I wrote you a song haha ;-)..It's based on the Eminem hit Stan..Hope you like it

 

 

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I?

Got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad

It's not so bad

 

Dear “Mack”, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'

I left my cell, my pager

And my home phone at the bottom

I sent two letters back in autumn

You must not have got 'em

It probably was a problem

At the post office or somethin'

 

Sometimes I scribble addresses

Too sloppy when I jot 'em

But anyways **** it

What's been up man, how's your sister?

My friend's pregnant too

but we don’t know the father

If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her?

I'm a name her Mackie

 

I read about those people on LS too, I'm sorry

I had a friend heartbroken himself over some bitch

Who didn't want him

I know you probably hear this everyday

But I'm your biggest fan

 

I got a room full of your posters

And your pictures man

I like the **** you did with LS too

That **** was fat

Anyways I hope you get this, man

Hit me back just to chat

Truly yours, your biggest fan

This is GNF

 

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I?

Got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad

It's not so bad

 

Dear Mack, you still ain't called or wrote

I hope you have the chance, I ain't mad

I just think it's ****ed up, you don't answer fans

If you didn't want to talk to me

after my LS attack you didn't have to

But you could've signed an internet autograph for Matthew

That's my little brother man

 

He's only 6 years old

We waited by my laptop for you

For 4 hours and you just said "No"

That's pretty ****ty man

You're like his ****in' idol

He wants to be just like you man

He likes you more than I do

 

I ain't that mad though I just don't like bein' lied to

Remember when we met on LS

You said if I write to you, you would write back

See I'm just not like you in anyway

I never knew my father neither

He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her

 

I can relate to what you're sayin' in your LS Posts

So when I have a ****ty day

I drift away and read 'em on

Cause I don't really got **** else

So that **** helps when I'm depressed

I even got a tattoo

With your name across the chest

 

Sometimes I even cut myself

To see how much it bleeds?

It's like Adrenaline

The pain is such a sudden rush for me

See everything you say is real

And I respect you 'cause you tell it

My boyfriend's jealous

'Cause I talk about you 24/7

 

But she don't know you like

I know you Mack, no one does

She don't know what it was like?

For people like us growing up

You've gotta call me man

I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose

Sincerely yours, GNF

P.S. We should be together too

 

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I?

Got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad

It's not so bad

 

Dear Mister, I'm too good to call or write my fans

This'll be the last package I ever send your ass

It's been six months and still no word

I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two letters

I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

 

So this is my cassette I'm sending you

I hope you hear it

I'm in the car right now

I'm doing 90 on the freeway

Hey Mack, I drink a fifth of vodka

Ya dare me to drive?

 

You know this song by Phil Collins

'From the air in the night'

About that guy who could have saved

That other guy from drowning?

But didn't, then Phil saw it all

Then at his show he found him

 

That's kinda how this is

You could have rescued me from drowning

Now it's too late

I'm on a thousand downers, now I'm drowsy

 

And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call

I hope you know

I ripped all your pictures off the wall

I loved you Mack, we could have been together

Think about it, you ruined it now

 

I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it

And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep

And you scream about it

I hope your conscious eats at you

And you can't breathe without me

 

See Mack, "Shut up bitch!

I'm trying to talk"

Hey Mack, that's my friend screaming in the trunk

But I didn't slit her throat I just tied her up

See I ain't like you

'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more

And then she'll die too

 

Well gotta go

I'm almost at the bridge now

Oh ****! I forgot!

How am I supposed to send this **** out?

 

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I?

Got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad

It's not so bad

 

Dear pyschopath, I meant to write you sooner

But I've just been busy

You said your friend's pregnant now

How far along is she?

Look I'm really flattered

she would call your daughter that

And here's an autograph for your brother

I wrote it on your starter cap

 

I'm sorry I didn't see you on LS

I must have missed you

Don't think I did that **** intentionally

Just to diss you

And what's this **** you said about

You like to cut your wrist too?

I say that **** just clownin' dawg

C'mon, how ****ed up is you?

 

You got some issues Nutjob

I think you need some counselin''

To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls

When you get down some

And what's this **** about us

Meant to be together?

That type of ****'ll make me not want us

To meet each other

 

I really think you and your friend

Need each other

Or maybe you just need to treat her better

I hope you get to read this letter

I just hope it reaches you in time

Before you hurt yourself

I think that you'll be doin' just fine

If you'd relax a little

 

I'm glad I inspire you

But Frutitloop, why are you so mad?

Try to understand

That I do want you as a fan

I just don't want you to do some crazy ****

I seen this one **** on the news

A couple weeks ago that made me sick

 

Some nutjob was drunk and drove her car over a bridge

And had her friend in the trunk

And she was pregnant with a kid

And in the car they found a tape

But it didn't say who it was to?

Come to think about it

Her name was, it was you! Damn!

Edited October 15, 2011 by Mack05

[Buttercup84]

Am I weird for thinking that that person is your ex ?

[Mack05]

Am I weird for thinking that that person is your ex ?

 

That is the million dollar question Buttercup. I don't believe my ex is this nuts (not even close) and despite our bad breakup, I believe my ex is a good hearted person, who has moved on with her life along time ago and holds nothing but indifference towards me. I just can't imagine her holding onto this much anger for so long..Just doesn't make sense to me.

 

But then again why would a stranger who I have never met, go through every single post I have ever wrote, remembers so much about me and attacks me in a similarish way my ex did in June.

 

I have spoken to fellow LS members and they are advising me not to reply anymore on this thread. I will now listen to this advise. I should have never defended myself, I never had to. It was clear this woman is a total fruitloop.

[Buttercup84]

That is the million dollar question Buttercup. I don't believe my ex is this nuts (not even close) and despite our bad breakup, I believe my ex is a good hearted person, who has moved on with her life along time ago and holds nothing but indifference towards me. I just can't imagine her holding onto this much anger for so long..Just doesn't make sense to me.

 

But then again why would a stranger who I have never met, go through every single post I have ever wrote, remembers so much about me and attacks me in a similarish way my ex did in June.

 

I have spoken to fellow LS members and they are advising me not to reply anymore on this thread. I will now listen to this advise. I should have never defended myself, I never had to. It was clear this woman is a total fruitloop.

 

 

Do not worry about it Mack. I know that sometimes after your advice I might have been a bit pissed off at you haha but it was only because you were telling the truth. I would rather someone be harsh than someone sugarcoating everything.

 

Hope you are not letting this get you down

[Mack05]

Do not worry about it Mack. I know that sometimes after your advice I might have been a bit pissed off at you haha but it was only because you were telling the truth. I would rather someone be harsh than someone sugarcoating everything.

 

Hope you are not letting this get you down

 

Not at all Buttercup. I realise 'at times' I can be a little harsh and it was only a matter of time before I annoyed someone and I am sure I will annoy someone in future. But I can't be annoyed over someone like this, who clearly has issues that I will never comprehend or understand. The attack actually made me laugh out loud. It's just the aimless rant of a nutjob..I have no idea why this user has brought the tone of the site down. We help each other here. Just goes to show how selfish this 'woman' is.

[Mack05]

I don't know if its because I am drunk, but that is hilarious :laugh:

Cheers Jason

[marqueemoon4]

These last few posts are exactly what my exW or one of her cronies would post if she ever found this thread. Scary stuff. I love how pro victim women throw around accusations of "beating", "verbal abuse" etc but never for a millisecond would they ever look at the emotional/physical abuse they doled out.

 

In my case there were 2 incidents of physical conflict over 8yrs, both when we were married. She punched me square in the face during a fight and I didn't react at all. A year later she got in my face and provoked me over and over and I did something totally out of character (2 kicks to her tush). And I'M A WOMAN BEATER and violent. This event that happened was the day she left and never came back, and was CLEARLY premeditated to give her a reason to leave. Later it came out she had been cheating on me for weeks/months with a coworker. The PI I had to hire said women do this ALL THE TIME.. purposely start a confrontation, push every button they possibly can, and get an otherwise docile person to do something they would never do and then paint their husband/bf as a monster. There is always an OM waiting on the other side.

 

DISGUSTING

[Mack05]

Why come onto this site and ruin if for the normal person? People come here to help. Do you not understand that?. They don't care about where I come from, what my sexual orientation is and how many girlfriends I have had before. I come here to help as best I can and despite what has happened here, I will continue to do so. What do you come here and do?I haven't seen you help anybody yet. Instead you launch a vicious spiteful attack on someone you 'supposedly' don't even know (yeah right!). I will never know why my ex googled an old alias of mine, 6 weeks after we broke up and came to this site. I will never know why she called the police on me. Do you know the police never came and do you know why? Because they had nothing to come for and never will. See the police dont come if there is absolutely ZERO case to answer.

 

Your opinion of me means absolutely nothing. You say you don't read my threads, so how do you know so much about me? Lucky guess?....You have never seen how good, generous and loyal I am to my family and friends. How I adore my nephews and go way beyond what a normal Uncle does. You have no idea how highly my ex's (bar one) think of me. I recently have had my ex of 7 years apologise to me and say I was a fantastic boyfriend for 7 years. I have always been there when friends needed me. Stood up and was counted in family crisis(s). So you think some angry, bitter hatefilled woman with a vendetta that I will never understand, is going to have any effect on me? Your beneath me on every level and always will be.

 

Lets assume you are not my ex (and I have my severe doubts). You come on here having never met me or my ex and make all those judgements about me. How can you do that without having ever met either of us?. You haven't a clue what you are talking about and that's the truth. It's just one aimless, baseless, untrue, ignorant statement after another. Based on what exactly?

 

Calling you a nutjob is an obvious fact, just read over your replies on this thread. It doesn't take a therapist to realise you have severe mental problems. You say you have dealt with people who have BPD. I bet you have, when you look in the mirror. Where are the facts backing up your claim that I am a "woman beater"?. There are many things I could say about a person like you, but I refuse to lower myself to your level. I will make a promise to you and anyone reading this thread, that I will never reply to anything you say ever again. A strong character doesn't break his promises and I won't break mine no matter what viciousness you throw my way.

 

I hope this is a lesson to people on LS to never to engage with someone you know you shouldn't (ex's especially). No good can come from it. Maybe you are my ex, maybe you are not. Either way I don't give a sh! t. I start my new life in less than 3 weeks. I have a family and a girlfriend that loves me. Friends who stand by me through thick and thin. The bitter ramblings of an unstable person ain't going to change that. This thread will be soon be old news and you will be long gone from this site, when no one engages with you. I will stay and continue to help as much people as I can.

 

I have learnt one thing over the past few months. Time is precious and I refuse to waste more on someone like you. Therefore like I did with my ex, you are forgiven for your attacks. It's clear life has not been as kind to you, as it has been to me. I have never walked in your shoes, so I don't know why you have this anger and hate filled up inside of you and I guess I never will. In less than 3 weeks I will be in America and you will be LONG forgotten. Maybe you can find something/someone else to crazily obsess on? Take care. I genuinely wish you well. Hope things turn around for you.

 

GAME OVER

Edited October 15, 2011 by Mack05

[betterdeal]

Mack, you have said you won't reply a few times now. Maybe take this as an ideal opportunity to put into practice different ways to express yourself in a difficult situation. It's a learning experience (just as the rest of life is).

 

I do think you've presented what you've learnt in a slightly didactic fashion, e.g. "the correct way to heal" and such like. Are you aware of the concept of "wounded healers"? I'm sure most of us have fitted that description. I'd also recommend reading up on emotional detachment - being able to step back and detach emotionally from a situation. Your opponent sounds angry with you. That's probably a good time to step back and detach, but that is, of course, entirely your choice.

 

All this stuff is just ideas. There are no rules, and that's what makes life so enjoyable

[Mack05]

Better deal I totally agree with you. The thing is, its only recently that I realised this is could be my ex (or a friend of hers). Had I known this from the get go, I would never have engaged her in the first place as I have totally emotionally detached from my ex. I always believe in practice with you preach and I haven't done that in this thread and I am disappointed in myself. I shouldn't need to defend myself against someone like this and that is the mistake I made. I should never have engaged with this 'woman'. See my promise above. I will never engage with this "good hearted" person again..

[betterdeal]

One thing that has changed my life most profoundly is eliminating "should have" from my thinking.

 

Should have means didn't.

Shouldn't have means did.

 

And so on with could have, would have &c.

 

What's interesting is why one did(n't), and what one can do instead next time.

Edited October 15, 2011 by betterdeal

[Sugarkane]

Hey Mack the trolls have joined all at once or something?! Going Nowhere has been trolling on another thread too, not just this one. Some people really must have too much time on their hands?

[EgoJoe]

One thing that has changed my life most profoundly is eliminating "should have" from my thinking.

 

Should have means didn't.

Shouldn't have means did.

 

And so on with could have, would have &c.

 

What's interesting is why one did(n't), and what one can do instead next time.

 

Pure wisdom. Removing can't from personal statements has helped me too.

[mike588]

Do not worry about it Mack. I know that sometimes after your advice I might have been a bit pissed off at you haha but it was only because you were telling the truth. I would rather someone be harsh than someone sugarcoating everything.

 

Hope you are not letting this get you down

 

I'm with Buttercup on this! I also felt the sting of some of Macks replies but is was that truth and sometimes the truth HURT'S.

 

Mack, Dovic, Geegirl and others have been more than helpful to MANY of us here and I'm so thankful I have followed their advise!!

[nini]

Why do you think they know about you and your situation? No one but you knows you and your situation. Only you know the truth. Not Woman Beater or anyone else here. He tried that on me when no one even asked for his opinions, when I never even shared my situation. He was off so much so, that he made himself look foolish in the process. Anyway, since you are heartbroken and confused, you can't see it right now. In time, maybe. In time.

 

WTF are you on? It must be something really strong coz you seen to have really gone off the rails...

 

But yeah, keep it coming, at least you're providing some entertainment

[nini]

You are right I am 'pretending' to be amused :laugh:. You see right through me hahahahhaa. You are right, the whole world is wrong. Mack05 is a woman beater. I am furious at myself for not seeing this. I have never been more sure of anything in my life; that now I am a raving alcoholic. Let me guess what you believe 'in bizarro world'. You think Barack Obama is white. That Osama Bin Laden was misunderstood and an all round good guy. That the klu klux klan were not in anyway racist. That Joseph Fritzl was father of the year.

 

Thank you for opening my eyes. Now I can get the help that I so badly need for my alcoholism and Mack05 can now finally get the help he needs for his woman beating ways.

 

Is anyone else really starting to like this girl? I am just thinking of more things to say to annoy you; because your replies are simply comic genius . Thank you Goingnowherefast, thank you. The only place you are going fast to is a mental hospital. I will come and visit. Just for the laughs you provide...Game of golf later $140. Beers for "the alcoholic" watching football $20 dollars. Reading goingnowheres posts on Loveshack. Priceless.

 

I can't believe you do not have a boyfriend. You are such an awesome catch. Every guy wants a verbally abusive, judgemental, clinically insane woman. Bet you are awesome in bed :laugh:

 

I am liking her very very much, she's mental We could defo do with some craziness on this forum, I mean come on, its pretty boring with just us boring old people trying to correctly heal and move on from our relationships, so we can be better people....

 

Yeah, I vote she stays!! In fact, I really want her to come visit me so I can see for myself what a nutter like her looks like! Maybe she's got 3 heads or something?