Feeling better four months after divorce

[Paige1377]

So if you have read my past posts on this you can kind of see the whirlwind I have gone through with my ex husband. Background information is we were together six years, from ages 20 to 26 and recently had a little baby girl. We split almost four months ago when our daugther was nine months old. He says the split was because of my weight gain, lack of motivation, me nagging him and of course me not being able to do simple household tactics. He blames me for most of it, saying he just couldn't take it anymore. I say the split was because he pulled away from me, was cheating on me, and wouldn't open back up to me. The first four years we were together I tried to leave him a couple times b/c of his controlling ways but he always talked me back. I was a stay at home mom, and he had complete control.

 

He dumped me told me I had to leave but I could take my daugther with me. We didn't have any money at the time so I had to beg my parents to give me some money so they were able to shell out enough money and get me money for a bus ticket. I remember the day clearly where he took us to the greyhound bus. For six years my ex had taken care of everything for me, so I stupidly missed the bus. He had just left and I called him to comeback and pick up myself and his daugther and he wouldn't b/c he had to work. We stayed in a 40 dollar a night hotel that evening, no money, baby cried all night and I felt like the worst mother in the world b/c I couldn't provide for my child.

 

I stayed with my parents for two months and it was a blur. I was terribly depressed, lost 30 pounds from depression. My ex said within the first month he thought about us getting back together. After two months I left my parents house and moved back to Ks for a job opportunity. My ex came to pick up my daugther and I and drove us down to Ks b/c I was still without a car. During this ride he told me he never wanted to sleep with me again, he was happy without me, that I should move on.

 

After he told me to move on, I started to do just that. I started cutting off my emotions for him, got into a routine with my job and with my daugther and daycare and am starting to feel like I am moving on. My ex has come to visit his daugther a couple times b/c right now he's still living where we lived so he's about five hours away, but each time he has come to visit he has ignored me. Yes it hurt the first time, but each time he does it now I continue to get stronger.

 

Now I have sad days where I want him back b/c our daugther is now over a year old...walking, talking, growing tremendously and he's missing it b/c he wanted his own life free of me and being able to sleep with women and not have to be married. Those days are the hardest, but I have gotten to the point where I don't text him saying I miss him, or anything like that b/c he has told me he doesn't want me, and I can't change it even for the sake of our young child.

 

He just recently visited for a week for his vacation to see his daugther. We had limited contact but saw each other a couple times, it felt good to have him around and I caught him checking out my chest and butt a couple times, but still there was zero discussion of him and I.

 

I now believe him when he says he doesn't want me, am no longer in denial that he just needs time and space to figure out things to make his family work. I now know he is really that selfish and wants to have his life free of responsiblity. So I am moving on and feel better about it. I have started talking to guys and even kissed this really hot guy the other day and felt like a million bucks!!!

 

So guys it does take time...but little by little you will get to where you want. Those feelings will fade and get better!!

[jennicathomas]

Good for you that you had totally moved on you don't deserve a guy like him you deserve someone better. At first it is really hard to move on from such kind of separation but you have to deal with it or you will be forever suffer from stress and depression.