tictacdudemanbro Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Im married, and cannot stop thinking about this girl I dated 3 years ago. It was only a 3 month thing, but she was really great, and I was stupid and left her. I saw her the other day at a restraunt (didnt know she worked there) and we talked for a little bit. I shouldnt be feeling this way since im married, but seeing her made it worse, and I cant stop thinking about her. I want to message her on facebook, and see how shes doing, but that would be wrong. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Tell your wife? Joking, dunno, I dont really know. Possible actions: 1) Stop thinking about her (obvious ;p) 2) Tell your wife 3) Message The Girl on FB 4) Do nothing, keeping on thinking about her and about "whatifs". Link to post Share on other sites
joseph17 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Lust is a hurtful sin and I believe this is what you are experiencing. If you were meant to be then you wouldn't have broken up and you certainly wouldn't have gotten married. In this kind of situation you have to think of the life you have built with your wife and the consequences you talking to her could have. Imagine if the roles were flipped and your wife was having the feelings you are having. How would you react or how would you want the situation approached. Think of your wife in this instance because she will be the one hurt and you risk losing everything. Just wondering are you having marriage problems? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tictacdudemanbro Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 We argue sometimes, but thats normal. These feelings need to stop though, and I think that if I message her and tell her im sorry for hurting her, I will be able to stop. But I dont want to go behind my wifes back and talk to my ex. Its not like I have feelings for my ex, and want to get back with her, just some feelings of regret. Regret that I hurt her. When I broke up with her she called me crying for 2 hours, and I was just an ass...I feel really bad, but dont know how to tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
TLCbear Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 These feelings need to stop though, and I think that if I message her and tell her im sorry for hurting her, I will be able to stop. Why didn't you apologize when you spoke with her at the resturant??? Link to post Share on other sites
TrueColors Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Why didn't you apologize when you spoke with her at the resturant??? Good question! Tictacdudemanbro, sounds like it's not your ex per se, but how you treated her that's making you feel this way. You mention having regret: you need to find a way of processing these leftover negative feelings without necessarily telling her or your wife. Do you know why you left her in the first place? If you look back over your past and try and learn the lessons that are presented to you, then contacting your ex won't have to come into it. And if you are still finding it hard to let go, I suggest seeking counselling. Link to post Share on other sites
EllleBelle Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I don't buy your reasoning--seems to me that you are trying to put this chivalrous meaning behind your desire. Leave her alone. You moved on so accept your life now and let her have hers. You accidentally ran into her and now are probably thinking all these what ifs, but your responsibility is to the woman you walked down the aisle, not this stranger. That is what she is to you: a stranger. Be honest with yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tictacdudemanbro Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 I was a stupid kid that only wanted one thing and broke her heart. You're right though,I should just let it go. And I couldn't tell her at her work because she was surrounded by fellow coworkers and I didn't want to put her on the spot like that. Maybe y'all are right, I should just leave it alone. Maybe she forgot about it Link to post Share on other sites
Queen of Hearts 10 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 The grass is not always greener on the other side ! I hope you bite it, and hit Quicksand ! You are on the wrong site ! I think there's "Cheaters" site on here for you to go cry on ! Queen of Hearts 10 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Im married, and cannot stop thinking about this girl I dated 3 years ago. It was only a 3 month thing, but she was really great, and I was stupid and left her. I saw her the other day at a restraunt (didnt know she worked there) and we talked for a little bit. I shouldnt be feeling this way since im married, but seeing her made it worse, and I cant stop thinking about her. I want to message her on facebook, and see how shes doing, but that would be wrong. What should I do? Stop yourself before you make a terrible mistake and destroy your marriage. Heck, you're still a newlywed, and you're pining away for some former gf? Don't message her. Just stay away. Be happy with the woman you chose to marry just a very short time ago. Don't destroy your marriage over this. Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I hope you won't risk a marriage over something like that. I really hope you don't. *shakes head from side to side* Link to post Share on other sites
Author tictacdudemanbro Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 Good replies. I guess I wont talk to her. Good thing im leaving town for 6-8 months for the military..that should help keep my mind off things while taking my wife with me And why should I "bite it" and hit quicksand? lol Sounds like someone had a problem with a cheater before? Link to post Share on other sites
antz2411 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 for you to even think of another woman intimately, is a slap on the face towards your wife. how disrespectful can you be towards your wife and more importantly to yourself? you need to file for divorce because you obviously dont deserve your wife! and you call yourself a man lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author tictacdudemanbro Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 Damn! Who dug up this bitch? Link to post Share on other sites
jennicathomas Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Make yourself busy with something else so you can refrain yourself from thinking of her think of your wife and the hurt that would cause her if ever you begin to imprint feelings with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 You chose to move on from this ex girl, so just move on. You made your bed, now lie in it. Link to post Share on other sites
B_55 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Damn! Who dug up this bitch? Ha Ha, yeah... to say that people don't have lustful thoughts about other people is a lie. Its about controlling and not giving into those thoughts that are important! Link to post Share on other sites
Leegh Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Have you been thinking about her consistently for three years, or did you just start thinking about her again when you saw her in the restaurant? If it is in the latter, I would probably not do anything. On the other hand, if you haven't been able to get this woman off your mind for three years, I would contact her, and let the chips fall where they may. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tictacdudemanbro Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 Its not like I have dirty thoughts about her. Geezus! Ive seen her driving around alot recently which is random. Because its like every time I go on that side of town I see her driving. That's what provoked it. Link to post Share on other sites
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