What do I do? Wait or try to find her?

[6'7" Teddy Bear]

well I hope that I have found a safe place to get some advice. There are some things that I have yet to understand about the fairer sex. For the last 14 months I have been involved with Sweetness. For the first 10 months or so I was the other guy. Sweetness is 12 years younger than myself and we started out by me filling in the gaps that the guys younger than her could not give her. I guess our frienship quickly out grew the friend part. we both began to miss the other and there touch, there voice, etc. Then one day she asked if i would kiss her and it was all down hill from there!

 

About xmas time we were out having a day of it, and one of our stops was by a wedding shop, and the conversation jokingly got around to marraige, and the question was asked, "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?" She said that I was one of the few people that she had ever thought of marring(she has a two year old boy but not a marriage). Well in my eyes this woman is everything that I could hope for, smart, wholesome yet sexy as hell, loving and what I thought loyal.

 

The next step I guess I should say is that on march 20th as we were out eating she sprung the fact that she may be pregnant. 50/50 chance that it was mine or her last boyfriend. there was such a short time between us I. Well she was. What a day that turned out to be. Both the tears and joy. She thought that it was a better chance that it was his, this I guess made me run a little, took me about three weeks to get a good grip on it. But I'm adopted and she asked me if it made a differace in my life and I my answer was no. She than said that as far as anyone was concered it was mine no matter what if that was what I wanted. Well three weeks ago we spent the weekend at a local hotel, both of us have roommates and we did nothing but fight. then two days latter she called me at work and acused me of having her car repo'ed and what a child I was and goodbye.

 

She has dropped off the face of the earth, she's moved and wont take my calls on her cell. I didnt sleep for the first 4 days, I think about her everyday, my heart is so empty without her. At first I thought that she should contact me, that I was owed an apology. Now I'm ready to use my old work contacts to track her down. She is the only woman I have known that I ever thought I could spend my life with. She was that once in a lifetime soulmate, what do I do?

[average guy]

I hate to rain on your parade, but she may have been interested in marrage knowing that she was pergant and that the "father" wasn't going to stick around to support her (you mentioned that she already has one child without the father being around). Anyway, if I were you, I would let her go. She has already said the child is probably not yours, so you have no obligation, and if she does claim it is, I would think about dna testing.

 

Anyway, I am curious, you said that you "were filling in the gaps that the guys younger than her could not give her". I'm honeslty curious what you mean. Secuirty? Wisdom? I'm not being sarcastic (I'm "old" myself:) I'm just curious, that's all

 

Cheers,

 

A.G.

[6'7" Teddy Bear]

Thanks for your reply. to answer your questions yes. There was wisdom, and security. I think that I opened a few doors that she had not used in a long time. Going and seeing things, theater, shows. I think even showing her the wonders of books. But I think most of all it was normalilty(?). My reactions were tempered, my love never depened on what she could do for me. The chance to talk even. I'm sure that I will get some flak over this but most 18 to 25 yo have forgotten the art of comunication.

No matter what it was that I gave her, she gave me so much more. They say that there is more than one person out there who is right for you. I dont know how much more right anyone could be than her. But this is not the forum for me to let my heart out!

[average guy]

I agree with you about the age difference factors, but I do think you may need to let this woman go. Like you say, this may not be the forum to discuss it, but please take my advice that you should at least talk to someone (maybe a therpist) before you pursue or get more involved with what I have heard about this woman.

 

Good luck

[6'7" Teddy Bear]

Small town I live in. One of my employes is a phd that got a little burned out working in L.A. so he came to work at my resort. In his words"RUN, RUN LIKE HELL!" I tell him my ears hear him just fine but my heart needs a hearing aid. I know that I should but I get this feeling that she is just one of those once in a lifetime things. And I sure dont want to be "What ifing" for the rest of my life!