please help me get my lost piece back

[intoxicated_punk]

HI, im new here,

but I have a story, just as everyone else and could use help and input like everyone else..but before i star i would just like to say if anyone would like to talk with me personally i am almost always on yahoo messenger with the s/n intoxicated_punk same as on msn and on aim its the same but with out the under score... so here it goes but please i warn you its long so you might want a snack before i start ok

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My name is Diego i am from all over the US but this story starts leaving colorado, you see all my life i have never lived in a house my mom being a single mother and all, at that time i was just about to turn 17, well our landlords daughter came down with cancer and was going to die and when she died she wanted to die in the house where she grew up and that house of coarse was the one my family and i were living in.. So the time came along and our landlord kicked us out for that reason so..... we packed up our things and left our home and our friends to move back to PA , Now PA is where my mom grew up and where all her family lives so we moved in with my grandmother....

 

So time goes on and i dont know anyone here in pa so i go online and into chatrooms and such and search for some sort of civilization and so i do a buddy search and meet this girl named cat ... well not to long after that cat started up a chatroom and invited some of her friends well one of her freinds and i got to talking.. well after a while we became very good friends and after a little longer we started talking on the phone... however because i hated PA so much and wished for my friends back in Co and missed CO i was determined no matter what to get back home.

Anyways our conversations became longer as did the phone bills and she was falling in love with me ... and i liked her a lot but i did not atatch myself to her for the reason of getting back anyways I finally saved up enough money and left but without telling her ... just out of the blue (yah i know a**h***)ok back to the story ... so i was down in co but things didnt work out to well however i was down there from may to november.... so yah 6 months not too bad ... but while i was down there i never called her or anything .. however when i got back somehow i remembered her number and called her up she was shocked but we still talked and i appologized and yah ... anyways she was with someone at that time and time went on and we kept talking and the feeling came back we fell back in love however this time it was stronger for me then last time..well december came around and we finally got to meet... god this was the moment weve been waiting for , she always said someday we would meet someday we would be togetherand she was right!! so yah my mom and i drove down and met her and her family in a restraunt.

So i stood by the door waiting for her There she was my beautiful pixie my angel my girl.... but wait no she wasnt mine she was someone elses .... (not for long)

 

so we spent the whole weekend together we saw her in a school play we just did a bunch of stuff i gave her a ring before we left with my birthstone on it ,,, it was to big for her so she wore it around her neck... ok so after that i had to keep seeing her so i got my liscense (im 19 by now) and got a car and drove down every other weekend 380 miles away ,,, just to be with her well anyways well she broke up with her bf and it was may again and her prom was comming up so guess who took her ? yep thats right meeee!! ..but let me backtrack i finally asked her out on the previous time going down and she said yes so by prom time we are bf and gf... ok back to the futue .. so we go to her prom and then after that well we dont have to get into that.... ok but yah so i left and went back to my hometown ... but i couldnt take being away from her anylonger ... soooo i made one more trip down found a job at a convenient store and told em i had to still quit my other one and so i did that and moved down...but withouta place to stay or live so i lived in my car for 6 months to be with her... well i got a better job an appartment opened up and finally i was gettting ahead for myself, no ....for us... well her and i would fight alot about stupid **** .. alot of the times because i would get jealous and i was a dick and wanted her to spend all her time with me and not with her friends because i didnt have any friends down there.... so we faught about that alot ..and looking back god i was so stupid .. well march comes along and she comes over to my apartment and with a sad look on her face so i said whats wrong and she said nothing, its nothing , and i said cmon what is it and she said i dont know, i dont know what i want

my heart dropped so i asked do you want me?

she said : i dont know?

once again another heart dropper!

I said: ok well i want you to go out and find out what you want and until then dont come back , go ahead you and i will both date or do whatever.

she said: you wont if you love me

I said : either will you

she said : no ill be ok i dont want to ( by now she was crying)

I said : no, i want you to go...

she left.....

she didnt come back...

i went to her house a few days later went to ring on her doorbell as i was walking up the steps i saw her through the window she saw me and ran... no one answered the door

well finally i got a hold of her and made her promise to come by

she did we talked and she said she still didnt know

a few days later i asked her to go out with me somewhere

we did it was awkward and hard not to hold her hand or kiss her

, I asked her if she wanted to come in she said sure , we went up stairs and listened to music, she laid on top of me like she did so many times before and i scratched her back... well one thing led to another and we started wrestling arround then we started making out , then i told her i loved her .... no response,,, i said i love you i cant do this .. to stop my self from taking advantage of her,,,, she started to cry i hugged her and said dont cry .. .. she thought i thought badly of her but i didnt ,, not one bit.. i loved her... well then we started kissing again and this time it was like a happy kissing we were laughing and everything and then i said ... its gonna be different youll see ... she said whats going to be different , i said us she said. Diego i cant be with you ...Heartdrop! we cried again she said she had to go she left .... that was the last time she kissed me .. i couldnt work because i was so depressed i couldnt sleep or eat... or do anything ... i had to go see a doctor for my depression i almost commited suicide i got put on anti depressents ... my mom came to help me ... i quit my job gave my exs mom a gift to give to ex before i left.. she did

,, me and her family became verry close the while i was down there,,,,,, specialy her mom and i... i called her mom she called me son .. and she would tell me she loved me..id tel her the same... anyways so i moved back ....our aniversary would have been 2 days from now may 19 shes going to prom with this one guy .. i found out about this guy before i moved she didnt cheat on me with him but remember how i told her to date guess she did,,, anyways yah her prom is the 22nd and her graduation is the 4th ,,,, god i know everything from a-z about her

I cant get her out of my head

I love her and miss her so much

I never got a reason for her breaking up with me

I want her back.

I dont know what to do... I need outside help

please help me

Instant message me if you have any questions or post them here ... im sorry to have bored you ... yah i know my penmanship sucks sorry ... i would appreciate your help

thanks

Diego

[shellgranado]

your first real love is the hardest but to me she sound selfish you stopped your life for her i wish i had a man like you you are the ones thats hard to find she sounds like a player maybe she was to yound to relize what kind of affect she had on you move on its going to be hard but theres better out there honey theres more fish in the sea with age you will relize this