imperfectangel Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Hi everyone As posted in a different thread I ended my affair bout a week ago although I haven't actually seen him since july I think I always knew but on sat I finally did a pregnancy test and it was positive I was feeling very scared and didn't really know what to do on mon though that decision was taken out of my hands when I began bleeding heavily at work and sadly I miscarried the baby (was around 14 weeks) I am still bleeding and have spent the last two days in hospital I just don't know if I should tell him about this as a man, would any men on here want to know? Any advise would be great as my emotions are all over and I have no idea what to do I am a mess and don't want to do something that I will regret Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 My sympathies... IMO, if he was unaware of the pregnancy when you split up and you didn't advise him subsequent, there's no cogent reason to disclose your m/c now. If he does believe you to be pregnant with his child, decency indicates, to me, at least a brief message informing him of the unfortunate outcome. Best wishes for a full and complete recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I don't think you have any obligation to tell him, but if you're asking if he would want to know, all I can say is, I would. Link to post Share on other sites
phillyfan Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Dude if it helps u, then tell him, u must be hurtin so bad, im so sorry it aint somethin any woman shud go thru. U both made the baby i thnk u shud tel him he gota know, i thnk id wana know. Rest up girl take care of u. Link to post Share on other sites
round1 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I too lost my baby 1 week today. I told Mm as he knew I was pregnant. I never heard from him, I did get a text 1 day later typed from his wife. They are working on their marriage so I have to expect that. It hurt real bad. My advice, would be to say nothing at this moment in time. I did it full of shock and sadness. Expect a reply that could set you back and hurt you, is it worth that? You do not need more pain. Healing you and recovering from the awful loss is more important. Knowing my Mm from the affair, he would want to support me and it will play on his conscious. Knowing what he has shown me since his wife learnt of the affair..he doesn't give a damn about me now. He wants his family. I have not hear a word from him. She read the text and email I sent, and replied. Ouch. I do not regret telling him. I felt he should know, I am so disappointed in him for not giving me any respect, even just to say sorry, I can not communicate with you, but hope your ok etc But also I see the flip side, he is saving his marriage. Just look after you and seek help if you need to. Your hormones will be AWOL. It's very difficult and natural you want to reach out to the man who u loved/loved you...but that just isn't possible... Hugs to you. I understand where you are x Link to post Share on other sites
noel2 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I have to say that IMO, only tell him if it makes YOU feel better. My fear for you sweetie is that you won't get the response you probably want. So if you do want to tell him, expect your feelings to get hurt. I hate to generalize people, but I'm sure he will feel like he has dodged a bullet so to speak. Right now, you take care of you, because he certainly is taking care of himself. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 If you haven't seen or talked to him since July - almost 3 months ago - why tell him? He had no idea about it. He isn't going to "help" you through it and it will only set you back. Or ---- do you want to use the mc as an excuse to fish for information? Are you wanting to reach out to him to see if he misses you, wants to start back up, etc? Examine the reason why you want to tell him. If he had no clue you were pregnant, there really isn't any reason to tell him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author imperfectangel Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 Thank you for your replies I haven't told him and I still don't know if I will my emotions and feelings are all over the place I'm still bleeding and having bad stomach cramps though they are easing slightly I just want him with me. I have friends but its not the same Link to post Share on other sites
Tenacity Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I'm sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 23 weeks and I chose to tell him. To this day he does not acknowledge it, and he never will. Don't cause yourself more hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
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