JamVan Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 My girlfriend and I have gone through a whirlwind of ups and downs in the 11 months we've been together. We both know we want to be together, but wonder if we have enough in common to make it work. We went through 3 break-ups and just as many reconcilitons. The last one i ended it cause we just went through a time of seperation and things never returned to the same. She came calling back and expressed I was the one for her and we decided to move in together. Weeks leading up to the move were fantastic, then we moved in and we started to become distant. I expected a transition period and am wondering if this is in fact what it is. She tends to go out quite a bit with friends, which is fine, but it seems to me that now that we are living together she wants to do more on her own. After a week of this I found myself questioning our decisions and brought my feelings to her. I stated I was beginning to feel miserable and wondered if we've made a mistake and should actually part again. She claimed "I was just giving up". So I asked her her feelings and she stated she is happy, still in love with me, but just feels at times she isn't meant to be in a relationship. I said well make a decision quick as I can't take much more of the way things are. She then said she isn't willing to give up on this and thinks we have something good here. My question is, How do i best adapt to this situation? Is it o.k. to expect more out of what you're getting? Thirdly, should I give it some time and see where it goes? I just find myself getting to my wits end and to the point of no return...Thanks to any input!!! Link to post Share on other sites
DonTomaso Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 Hey JamVan... Maybe you need to ask yourself if you are more miserable when you are with her or when you are without her... I am doing the same type of "sould searching" (you can read my post below) and I am coming to the conclusion that my gf makes me happy and I don't want to lose her. Personally speaking, the thought of being with one person for the rest of my life is scary especially since there are so many hotties out there, but then again, my gf makes me very very happy.... If your gf makes you "miserable" then maybe it really would be best to end things. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JamVan Posted May 17, 2004 Author Share Posted May 17, 2004 You know you make a great point. When we are together and things are going well I am happier than I can ever be. You're fear seems to be hers as well, she told me the exact same thing that the thought of settling down with one person scares the crap out her, but the fact remains she loves me and wants to be with me and that is something she has to deal with on her own. She said it doesn't change the way she feels for me, she is just scared...which seems to be normal I guess. When I truly think about it I love her and want to be with her, but we have a hard time getting out of ruts once we are in them. She says as soon as we have difficulties I'm ready to throw in the towel...and that I won't deny it's true. I guess I feel...we are having issues again, what's the point. But I suppose everyone goes through difficulties in relationships and if they both agree to try work on them they can. Thanks for the point, it opened my eyes a little more!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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