Brokenlady Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Hello all, it's been a long time since I posted last and much has happened. Some of you may remember that I had a 2 year R with a Mm who left his W and got divorced 2 years ago. He had a terrible time dealing with the D and the fallout from the A, and the xW is unbalanced and puts his kids in the middle constantly. Anyway, we are married now, and life is good. XW has finally accepted that he isn't coming back to her (though she's clearly still upset about that). The kids are all adjusting (his and mine) and we are making slow progress. Just FYI if anyone wondered whatever happened. Link to post Share on other sites
mike111 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Has his x-wife started to date yet? mike Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 That's great BrokenLady, Congrats!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brokenlady Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 Has his x-wife started to date yet? mike Not really. She went on many dates but I think they all picked up on her still clinging to hope that my H would go back to her. She was waiting on pins and needles literally until the moment the wedding took place, hoping he would back out. I do hope she finds her happiness, and maybe now she will let herself finally be open to new people. Link to post Share on other sites
MilfinBerle Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Has his x-wife started to date yet? mike Has he started to date yet? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bittersweet memories Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Has he started to date yet? :laugh:... too funny Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Has he started to date yet? I hope so. I hope he dates BL often and straight through their M! BL you take care and I'm so happy for you. I know how you struggled with this, as did he. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Congratulations Brokenlady. I hope your marriage is everything you want and need it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I really hope both of you are very happy. And your kids of course! Best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 LOL. He changed nothing but his primary residence. Most MM have a very difficult time leaving their BW, children, assets, etc., and not because of love for the BW but because of fear of change, fear of being perceived as a failure, and fear of an uncertain future. These fears can cause waffling behavior for years; just ask any OW who is now M or to or living with their fMM. Forgive me if it appears that I am speaking for the OP, but I am sure it was her pain *at the time* that spoke for the condition which matched at that time. Lucky for her, (and all of us really), time heals all things. BL, I am so very happy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Barrsitter Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 White Flower...how right you are! You are singing my life with your words. I have just broken off with a MM (my high school sweetheart - we reconnected after 30 years away from each other). He and I definitely should be together and should have been all our lives. Absolutely no doubt about it. But his W is clingy and child-like and says they "should" stay together even though she has known about me for the past 2 years. He's waffling big-time. He says to his W that he doesn't know if they can stay together...then when he's with me he says he doesn't know if he can leave his W. This week I said politely in a message that I can't be involved in this confusion and yo-yo-ing. I know things would work out well for us but not unless he's truly committed to me and me alone. So, I've said Bon Voyage. I tried to break off with him many times over the past 2 years but couldn't. Now...I can do it. I still think about him a lot but I know this is the right thing. BL - I'm so happy for you that things have worked out and I'm very impressed with your husband that he actually had the courage to make the changes. Any encouragement for me in my staying away from the MM, I would gratefully accept. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth Southerns Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 BL This has been a long and difficult road for you and I wish you much happiness. You deserve it! Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Congratulations on your happy ending. I am all about true love prevailing. Good luck in your new future. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 The statement that a man staying in his M has nothing to do with love for his W would be the same as saying a man choosing his OW has nothing to do with loving her. Ridiculous assumptions. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Just as ridiculous as his cheating has nothing to do with his love for his W. (Wow, that is some love.) Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Just as ridiculous as his cheating has nothing to do with his love for his W. (Wow, that is some love.) A man can cheat in spite of loving his wife, not because of it. LMAO Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 A woman would have to be really desperate to want a weak man like that. Truer words were never spoken. Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth Southerns Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 A woman would have to be really desperate to want a weak man like that. Interesting then that so many of those BWs do. Are they that desperate? Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth Southerns Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Try uninformed or gaslighted. They live with him but they don't know he's weak? Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth Southerns Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 LOL nice try. If a BW knew of her H's 'fears' she could be helpful in alleviating them. If she lives with him but doesn't know his hopes and fears, it's not much of a M is it? Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth Southerns Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 LOL! It has nothing to do with love. Men leave to be with their true love all the time. The reason they don't leave is because they are not convinced that the grass is greener with the OW. If there is any 'fear' it is that the OW isn't better than what he already has. Good for Brokenlady for finally convincing him. It's good for the OW to find out what it's really like. He left his BW years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brokenlady Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 He left his BW years ago. Exactly. The A was 2 years, then we had a legit R for another 2 (almost 3 years). Divorce is final 2 years now. Link to post Share on other sites
mike111 Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Has he started to date yet? oops! mike Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brokenlady Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 A woman would have to be really desperate to want a weak man like that. And that would be his XW exactly. She was literally waiting up until we had the ceremony to hear that he hadn't married me. Apparently him telling her a million times that he wasn't ever coming back didn't sink in. The next day she sent him this dramatic text that he was "dead" to her now. Drama queen. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 And that would be his XW exactly. She was literally waiting up until we had the ceremony to hear that he hadn't married me. Apparently him telling her a million times that he wasn't ever coming back didn't sink in. The next day she sent him this dramatic text that he was "dead" to her now. Drama queen. There was a lot of drama in this scenerio....king and queens. Link to post Share on other sites
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