26 year old about to sleep with 17 year old. Am I being a horrible person?

[Finished]

Hello, I'm a 26 year old male and I think I'm about 24 hours away from a sexual relationship with a 17 year old classmate. I moved to a new city and started at college so I'm surrounded by younger people all day and they're the only people I've met so far. A girl from one of my classes started as a study buddy, but the sexual tension has been building and, after getting a bit physical last night, I'm pretty sure something is going to happen this weekend. I'm not sure how to feel about everything. I've been careful not to pressure her...she has made all of the first moves, although I've hardly resisted. I'm a genuinely nice guy and the last thing I want is to hurt her. We're both just out of long term relationships, and I plan on making it clear to her that I'm not interested in anything serious....is it wrong to sleep with this girl? She insists that age isn't an issue for her, and that she's had sexual relationships with men my age in the past.

 

There are no legal issues with this in my country.

 

Thoughts? Opinions? Experiences?

[Feelin Frisky]

I wouldn't encourage anyone to break the law so I won't tell you to savor her and have a great time. That would be wrong of me.

[AHardDaysNight]

I think that age difference is just asking for trouble.

[Finished]

Thank you, Feelin Frisky, for telling me exactly what I wanted to hear.

 

AHardDaysNight, what kind of trouble do you mean? I'm not looking for a serious relationship, and if she is, I will definitely stop things from progressing. What's wrong with a little sex? Besides the allure of a younger woman (am I supposed to be feeling that already at 26?), it's also very convenient for both of us (we're partners on a few projects and will be spending many nights together for studies anyways). I'm not disagreeing with you...I wouldn't have posted here asking for advice if I didn't realize that there is potential for "trouble". I'm really just looking for help in realizing what "trouble" I could be getting myself into. I'm concerned that I may not be "thinking with the right head", as they say.

 

Let me re-emphasize that I think this girl is really sweet and I'm not looking to take advantage of her. I want to make sure she is happy, and well, she seems to be happy getting physical with me. I'm finding it hard to say no.

[smudge21]

The fact you're posting here indicates you have enough concerns to really make you worried about all the possible consequences. I know plenty of people who would just go for it, without posting on a relationship site.

 

People mature in different ways, both mentally and physically. I've had both younger and older female friends and relationships, never once really let any age gap affect it. If two people get along really well, no ones being pressured into anything, and it's all legal, then why not.

 

That said, 17 is still young (even considering here in the UK the legal age is 16) and technically not considered an adult, not until 18. But once again, that is a physical thing. Someone at 17 can be more adult in their mind than someone who is 18, if you get me.

 

If you think this girl is ready for a sexual relationship of any kind with you, then she's ready to hear your concerns over it too. You don't want to hate yourself afterwards.

[Cypress25]

I'm not looking for a serious relationship, and if she is, I will definitely stop things from progressing.

 

You need to have that conversation with her as soon as you see her again. Don't wait until the two of you are getting naked. Make sure she understands that you don't want a relationship, you just want casual sex. Being young, she might assume that sex = relationship.

[AHardDaysNight]

Okay, it's legal?

 

Then I'd say that you should go for it. But be very clear that all you want is sex, not a relationship.

 

It would be terrible if you hurt this poor girl's heart, by sleeping with her and then never calling her again.

[Finished]

Thanks for the advice everybody. Thought I'd give an update. I discussed it with her and she confirmed that she's not interested in a relationship...just sex. So that's what she's been getting since Saturday night.

 

Since it happened I've been talking with her a lot and making sure she's OK with everything. We set up a few rules to keep things from getting serious (no gifts, no spending the night....things like that). It sounds like things are going to be pretty drama free and we're both very happy with the arrangement. I think I hit the jackpot!

[Feelin Frisky]

Thanks for the advice everybody. Thought I'd give an update. I discussed it with her and she confirmed that she's not interested in a relationship...just sex. So that's what she's been getting since Saturday night.

 

Since it happened I've been talking with her a lot and making sure she's OK with everything. We set up a few rules to keep things from getting serious (no gifts, no spending the night....things like that). It sounds like things are going to be pretty drama free and we're both very happy with the arrangement. I think I hit the jackpot!

 

Bingo! Knock the bottom out of her.

[Symetrical-Siren]

"There are no legal issues with this in my country." <----

 

This is ALL that matters. As long as you don't go to jail. Okay, so legality aside....now you want to get into the whole "morality" thing....

 

Who dictates sexual maturity ? Mother nature.

 

It is not up to mankind when a boy is fully developed sexually, nor when a girl gets her first period. Sexual maturity on average for girls, starts around age 12. Back in the day, it was customary for men to marry their young 12 or 13 yr old daughters to men in their late 30's and 40's.

 

The way I see it, obviously she is considered the "age of consent" if there is no legal issue. If she wants it, whether YOU give it up or not, she's been with other guys your age in the past. She'll find someone else, if you choose not to.

 

If the attraction is mutual, and you won't go to jail, enjoy it.

[Dust]

If it's legal, and she gets you good and hard you know I'd stick it in! Enjoy.

 

On a side note I think 17 might be ilegal where I live and I'd still have trouble turning it down if she through herself at me.

[whichwayisup]

Thanks for the advice everybody. Thought I'd give an update. I discussed it with her and she confirmed that she's not interested in a relationship...just sex. So that's what she's been getting since Saturday night.

 

Since it happened I've been talking with her a lot and making sure she's OK with everything. We set up a few rules to keep things from getting serious (no gifts, no spending the night....things like that). It sounds like things are going to be pretty drama free and we're both very happy with the arrangement. I think I hit the jackpot!

 

Just know that a 17 year old girl CAN NOT control her emotions and eventually she will develop feelings for you, get very attached, possibly fall in love with you. This won't last long, trust me. I give this 'drama free' arrangment less than 2 months before the dynamic changes.

[Finished]

Hey everybody, I just thought I'd post a follow-up in case anybody was interested.

 

We were sleeping together for about 5 weeks. We definitely grew closer as friends, but never got romantic. She met somebody she was interested in dating so we decided to stop the sexual part of our relationship. There are no hard feelings between us and, in fact, she's now one of my best friends! We still see each other every day and there is no awkwardness at all.

 

The moral of the story is that this type of relationship doesn't always end badly.

 

Thanks again for the advice!

[JamesTrump]

whats wrong with that?

 

many young girls sleep with old farts, and old farts pay young girls for sex nowadays, just that the girls would never be honest of their many former sex partners