benjamin36 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I have been in a serious partnership for over 3 years now, we are both young and in our early 20's. from the beginning of our relationship i (the man) has always been the more sexual one, probably due to my larger experience in the past, seeing as i had come from another serious relationship, and she was seemingly untouched. However, there were never any issues in terms of her being sexually excited/interested in me, our love life never really had any issues! But, it is fair to say that in the last year of our relationship things have changed considerably. it seems that our sex life has become a routine, and has been this way for a long time. at most we will have sex maybe once every week or two? when we do have sex, if i try to go at it in the next couple of days after she says that she is not in the mood and that we only recently did it? and when we do it is always me almost convincing my partner into doing anything. often when i try to get something happening, she turns me away and says that she is not in the mood, and as far as i am concerned she never really is in the mood. When we do have sex, its like she wishes she didnt have to do it, so she will just be focused on having it as quick as possible and getting it over and done with. this has left me feeling sexually unattractive, with my confidence in shreds. i don't see what options i have left... i have tried everything and i just can't see a way of getting her interested in our sex life, she just doesn't see intimacy important, and i am a person who is completely the opposite. i have considered and tried playing hard to get in the past, and making her have to come for it, but i honestly feel like if she had the option it would never happen. what do i do things shouldnt be like this considering were so young and our relationship has only been short? please help Link to post Share on other sites
curvylady12 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 How much are you paying attention to her needs? You have to make sure it is not all about you. Have you even tried being romantic? Ask her if there are any areas of the relationship where she is not happy and what you can do to make her happier. Relationships change a lot after a couple of years when people start acting more like their true selves. Take an honest look at yourself and how you are treating your gf, in and out of bed. Another thing that changes is brain chemistry, believe it or not. When you first fall in love, your brain releases a lot of endorphins and sexual arousal is easy. But for most of life, your endorphins make regular sexual activity tricky. After you orgasm, there is a huge dip in endorphins that lasts around a week on average. Some people respond by craving more sex, but some just need to recover and want nothing to do with it. This is why some people say tantric sex is best for couples who respond differently. I haven't tried it personally, but maybe you should get a book on it if the problem is not resolved by taking with her about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherrygirl1968 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hi, there is one thing that could be a factor and I am just gonna through it out there....Hi blood pressure? My husband has high blood pressure, diagnosed a year ago but probably had it for yrs. We never had an issue about making love but once he was dagnosed, he started his meds and sex seemed to be less often and at times, not even talked or kid about anymore. After about 6 months, the dose changed from once a day, to twice and let me say that we didn't have sex for months, and I mean like 6 months. I tried enough until I felt like I was the problem and got tired of rejection. Alot of that is the reason that my husband and I split up 3 months ago. Being that he is 'messed up' about his life and what he's going through with and without me, he stopped taking his meds all together and wham...now he can't get enough of wanting me and the act of making love is all he thinks about. My husband is thin so we wouldn't have thought it was a medical issue but he is very stressed and worries alot. Drinks alot too, so...I love him enough to tell him to take his meds. but I do know that the sex life would be gone again. Funny how he can't get enough of making love to me now, twice a week and we live in separate homes. I don't like any of this but all in all, Id rather be sexually active with my husband than with just any man I could meet. Check into it. This is just a possibility, there could be other reasons, medically that Im not aware of. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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