Love Doesn't Exist - Don't See Why People Make a Big Deal Out of It

[bertdru]

I mean, Romantic love. Love between a parent and a child - that might exist. When I mean love here, I mean romantic love.

 

It isn't real. And no, I am not saying this since I have never experienced it. In a way I can see it for what it really is, since I am on the outside. I don't understand men and women who desperately want to experience it. I sit here and I think - why? Why do you want to "fall in love"?

 

The reality is that it is just hormones. Nothing more, nothing less. At a certain time, we feel that rush. But that disappears after a while. Would you realistically give your life for your partner? Not really. Although most people would like to keep up that illusion. Would you stay with your partner in any situation? Nope. Again, people try to keep up that illusion but everybody knows that is not true. Let's be honest, for men, the dealbreaker is looks and for women, it is money. It is as simple as that.

 

Does the passion last for ever? At most, a year. After that, people get bored and finally find other things to occupy themselves. Like children for example.

 

You could say I am old enough to see past the hormones. So I don't understand the desperation.

 

What a pointless scam.

[WhiteChocolate]

I completely disagree with you. And I am not in a relationship right now so you cannot say that I am blinded. Maybe you can say that I am young and idealistic. However, I believe that hundreds of generations of stories and literature and thousands of songs about lovers ring true.

 

Call me a romantic. But the majority of men do not skip from trophy wife to trophy wife. Likewise, the majority of women do not marry just for money. If so, then all the beautiful women in the world would be taken (and they're not!) and all the wealthy men in the world would have women crawling all over them (and they don't!)

 

It can also be argued that parental love is also hormones. It can also be argued that our thoughts are just chemical synapses in our brains. It can be argued that we are mere animals. But I believe there is SOMETHING that makes us human, something that makes philosophy and morality and love exist.

 

And finally I do believe passion can last forever. Walk through any park and ask an old couple. Sure, there are rough spots. But love prevails, if you work for it. And it is totally worth it, imo.

[Tony T]

I mean, Romantic love. Love between a parent and a child - that might exist. When I mean love here, I mean romantic love.

 

It isn't real. And no, I am not saying this since I have never experienced it. In a way I can see it for what it really is, since I am on the outside. I don't understand men and women who desperately want to experience it. I sit here and I think - why? Why do you want to "fall in love"?

 

The reality is that it is just hormones. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

What you are describing here is your own reality, what is true for you...what you have created for your own life. If it works for you, GREAT. There are a lot of people who would judge this as a pretty sad state but most aren't in the business of judging what is true for other people. You own your own reality.

 

I think the majority of people find that romantic love is life's greatest joy. It comes in many varieties and at very odd, surprising times. Sometimes it lasts a very long time, often it changes in tone as the leaves of a tree change in color and sometimes it disappears very quickly. It's still love, no matter how long it lasts.

 

Some love is definitely chemical in nature, some of it starts that way but shifts to a greater human depth, some is created by the mind out of want or need, etc. Whatever the source of its start, it can be the greatest thing on the planet whether it lasts forever or not.

 

The guy who I believedescribed it best was Kahlil Gibran, in his book "The Prophet published some years ago. It's definitely worth the read and if you've read it before it's worth reading again. Click here: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~jrcole/gibran/prophet/prophet.htm#Love

[denise_xo]

The guy who I believedescribed it best was Kahlil Gibran, in his book "The Prophet published some years ago. It's definitely worth the read and if you've read it before it's worth reading again. Click here: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~jrcole/gibran/prophet/prophet.htm#Love

 

I so agree. It's my favourite poem on love and I keep returning to it. Simply beautiful, and humbling.

[Woggle]

It does but it is a dying concept. Anybody under 40 looking for romantic love is a sucker.

[WhiteChocolate]

It does but it is a dying concept. Anybody under 40 looking for romantic love is a sucker.

What. The. Fk. ?.

 

Are you under 40?

 

I'm 19 years old and no matter what adults say (Children these days are going wild! Extramarital sex? AIDS? Drinking, partying, etc! What has society come to! ) almost everyone I know is still looking for romantic love. I actually can't think of a single person who isn't hoping to fall in love one day, but I throw in the word "almost" just in case.

[Woggle]

What. The. Fk. ?.

 

Are you under 40?

 

I'm 19 years old and no matter what adults say (Children these days are going wild! Extramarital sex? AIDS? Drinking, partying, etc! What has society come to! ) almost everyone I know is still looking for romantic love. I actually can't think of a single person who isn't hoping to fall in love one day, but I throw in the word "almost" just in case.

 

I am 32 but believing in love these days is just a recipe for heartbreak. If you don't love in the first place you can never get hurt.

[Tony T]

It does but it is a dying concept. Anybody under 40 looking for romantic love is a sucker.

 

You've got 17,500 or so posts in this mostly romance advice web site, yet you think people looking for romance are suckers? You're way in the wrong place, dude! Why don't you hang out in a rigor mortis forum or something...???

[Tony T]

I am 32 but believing in love these days is just a recipe for heartbreak. If you don't love in the first place you can never get hurt.

 

If you don't eat, you can never get indigestion or be poisoned. If you don't ride in a car, you can never be in an auto accident. If you don't go to classes, you can't fail a test. If you don't eat a lot, you can never get fat, as a rule. If you don't work, you can never pay income taxes. If you don't answer questions, you can never be wrong.

 

Your logic is so cool!!!

[Woggle]

Just look at the posts on here including the one I made a thread about. Men and women pretty much hate each other these days and it is damn near impossible for love to flourish in this climate.

[KR10N]

WhiteChocolate, you're 19, that's considered an adult. You sound like this one chick (on LS) who said she was a baby at 27.

 

Woggle, coming from a guy whose pretty much dropped clichés saying that all women are unfaithful.

 

Love may only be a hormone but we give it meaning.

[denise_xo]

Just look at the posts on here including the one I made a thread about. Men and women pretty much hate each other these days and it is damn near impossible for love to flourish in this climate.

 

Woggle, why don't you keep your hate to yourself. You're the number one hate spreader around here.

[Feelin Frisky]

Love does exist. It just takes devoted people who take responsibility for their part in wrecking the good vibe and forever learn from mistakes. There will be tumbles but the heights are wonderful and worth it and, who knows, you may find that you actually don't have to come down those heights any more.

[Sugarkane]

Just look at the posts on here including the one I made a thread about. Men and women pretty much hate each other these days and it is damn near impossible for love to flourish in this climate.

 

If men and women hate each other, why do people continue to get married every year? And when people get divorced, why do people go onto remarry other people?

 

I disagree with you. When I was with my ex, I felt like I would've done anything for him- I was in love with him. That's why it was so devastating to me when he brokeup.

[Citizen Erased]

You've got 17,500 or so posts in this mostly romance advice web site, yet you think people looking for romance are suckers? You're way in the wrong place, dude! Why don't you hang out in a rigor mortis forum or something...???

:lmao: Ouch.

[Woggle]

If men and women hate each other, why do people continue to get married every year? And when people get divorced, why do people go onto remarry other people?

 

I disagree with you. When I was with my ex, I felt like I would've done anything for him- I was in love with him. That's why it was so devastating to me when he brokeup.

 

Marriage is at an all time low and most of the marriages that do exist are pretty miserable. Just look at this forum or any relationship forum.

[LurkerXX]

OK so your logic is that because there is a biochemical process behind our emotions, that makes them unreal. There is a biochemical process behind bone formation; does that make bones 'unreal?'

[Audrina]

Oh another person scorned. I love the negative energy of this board.

[TrueColors]

I agree there is no such thing as love. I am not looking for it and want to be single forever. I am a woman btw. The only person you can count on in life is yourself.

 

Love is an illusion until the next hot piece of ass comes along and you get cheated on. Some people feel this is "love". No one truly loves another person; they always want something out of it. There is no such thing as altruistic love with no strings attached. Eventually you WILL get screwed over. We all come into this world alone and we are all going out alone.

 

It's best to love yourself because you are most likely to not ever betray yourself. Love is a fairy tale that dumb and naive people believe because they are weak; they aren't strong enough to be alone. I am strong; I have been alone for most of my life. I am not a weakling that needs another person. I have no problem living alone, spending holidays alone, eating alone, dying alone. It's the weak people who are scared of "dying alone". I think dying alone is only natural and there is nothing sad about it.

 

Whilst I agree to this to a certain extent, being "strong" can also mean admitting to being weak; admitting that sometimes there are things and situations that can't be done alone. Asking for help and support when needed.

And having companionship.

 

Everything in moderation.

[AHardDaysNight]

Love exists, but it is a rare form, and only the blessed few actually find it.

[TrueColors]

For me, companionship is not something I need. It's like an appendix; something you can cut off and live happily ever without. Why bother having another person to worry about and another person whose feelings you need to consider? Having a partner is more of a HASSLE than anything; the HASSLE outweighs the little good that comes out of it.

 

It's better to be alone because that way you are not accountable for everyone but yourself; it makes life easier and less stressful. There's nothing a man can do for me that I can't do myself. I am a very independent person and never had a "need" for companionship like others do. I prefer to be in the company of myself. Having another person around me is simply "bothersome", it's like having a pest or bug that you want to get rid of.

 

Sure, I hear you.

 

I don't NEED anyone else either.

I live by myself - have done for almost 7 years.

I prefer shopping and eating alone. I can quite comfortably watch a movie alone or walk the city streets alone. And I sleep better alone too!

 

However, I'd still welcome a relationship into my life - when the time is right. I'm thinking that someone just as independent but loving would be a good match for me.

 

Can one love another without becoming emotionally attached? In a meditation session I once went to, one of the themes discussed was about "loving without attachment". For me, "love" is about care, trust and respect for another human. Not the superficial BS that Mills & Boon type romance novels would have us fooled to believe. And which, unfortunately, the majority of the world believes makes the world go round.

[WhiteChocolate]

WhiteChocolate, you're 19, that's considered an adult. You sound like this one chick (on LS) who said she was a baby at 27.

Sorry, being told that I'm a child for the last 89.4% of my life (=17/19) has made me somewhat-subconsciously consider people older than me as "adults" and sometimes that slips out in my writing.

 

And evidently I'm not adult enough to purchase alcohol.

 

OT: I agree SO MUCH with TrueColor's philosophy. Finding a romantic partner shouldn't be a "need" but it shouldn't be rejected and completely cast out of the picture either. Single life can be fulfilling, yes, but there is a certain sparkle and shine around finding a companion to share life with too.

[Negative Nancy]

For me, companionship is not something I need. It's like an appendix; something you can cut off and live happily ever without. Why bother having another person to worry about and another person whose feelings you need to consider? Having a partner is more of a HASSLE than anything; the HASSLE outweighs the little good that comes out of it.

 

It's better to be alone because that way you are not accountable for everyone but yourself; it makes life easier and less stressful. There's nothing a man can do for me that I can't do myself. I am a very independent person and never had a "need" for companionship like others do. I prefer to be in the company of myself. Having another person around me is simply "bothersome", it's like having a pest or bug that you want to get rid of.

 

Obviously you still need companionship or else you wouldnt be in this forum talking with us. No man is an island, as they say. We need some form of human interaction and exchange.

[Negative Nancy]

Love is an illusion until the next hot piece of ass comes along and you get cheated on. Some people feel this is "love". No one truly loves another person; they always want something out of it. There is no such thing as altruistic love with no strings attached. Eventually you WILL get screwed over. We all come into this world alone and we are all going out alone.

 

this is kinda how i feel too. i'm almost waiting for the day when i find out that my boyfriend's been cheating on me, i almost expect it and am very cynical and jaded. especially with the comments on here how every hot woman makes a guy's head turn and drool over her and secretly wishing they could bang her. i bet you that if there were no social consequences or moral standards, guys would openly bang women left and right, with little regards to how their girlfriend is feeling. it's how they're wired, after all, isn't that always what they tell us...

 

about the altruism, i believe it to be true, i had a good psychology teacher who struck me as very cynical and he cited studies that show that i.e. even when people save someone's life, they do it for selfish reasons to some extent i.e. because they could not live with the guilt (= avoiding negative feelings for them). everthing we do in life is done to maximize pleasure and minimize pain.

[Tayla]

Love exists, but it is a rare form, and only the blessed few actually find it.

 

Thank you for that comment!.

 

I absolutely, undeniably LOVE my children.Grown as they may be...that bond is there. I absolutely LOVE the genuine few friends I have!

Without darkening the skies I get the bitterness of "couple" love...

True love is indeed rare, yet that too is equally inspiring when it is had. I think its the "couples" who are perceived by the public as the perfect couple...yet behind closed doors..all bets are off....Thats when I think or question ...genuine love verses "facade" love....