Love Doesn't Exist - Don't See Why People Make a Big Deal Out of It

[El Brujo]

I mean, Romantic love. Love between a parent and a child - that might exist. When I mean love here, I mean romantic love.

 

It isn't real. And no, I am not saying this since I have never experienced it. In a way I can see it for what it really is, since I am on the outside. I don't understand men and women who desperately want to experience it. I sit here and I think - why? Why do you want to "fall in love"?

 

The reality is that it is just hormones. Nothing more, nothing less. At a certain time, we feel that rush. But that disappears after a while. Would you realistically give your life for your partner? Not really. Although most people would like to keep up that illusion. Would you stay with your partner in any situation? Nope. Again, people try to keep up that illusion but everybody knows that is not true. Let's be honest, for men, the dealbreaker is looks and for women, it is money. It is as simple as that.

 

Does the passion last for ever? At most, a year. After that, people get bored and finally find other things to occupy themselves. Like children for example.

 

You could say I am old enough to see past the hormones. So I don't understand the desperation.

 

What a pointless scam.

 

It's real, alright, but what I see nowadays is that selfishness is just as real and just as strong. You can't love someone else when the love of your life is YOURSELF... it won't matter how many bfs or gfs you have.

 

I think one of the reasons why there are so many divorces nowadays is because a lot of people get into relationships without really knowing what they want... they believe in magic, they think a good relationship will just happen. It doesn't. It takes EFFORT. But they don't want to hear that, and then they get all PO'd when the "magic" doesn't kick in and make things perfect. To me it's just another example of people trying to get out of doing any work.

[Beijing_girl_1980]

I mean, Romantic love. Love between a parent and a child - that might exist. When I mean love here, I mean romantic love.

 

It isn't real. And no, I am not saying this since I have never experienced it. In a way I can see it for what it really is, since I am on the outside. I don't understand men and women who desperately want to experience it. I sit here and I think - why? Why do you want to "fall in love"?

 

The reality is that it is just hormones. Nothing more, nothing less. At a certain time, we feel that rush. But that disappears after a while. Would you realistically give your life for your partner? Not really. Although most people would like to keep up that illusion. Would you stay with your partner in any situation? Nope. Again, people try to keep up that illusion but everybody knows that is not true. Let's be honest, for men, the dealbreaker is looks and for women, it is money. It is as simple as that.

 

Does the passion last for ever? At most, a year. After that, people get bored and finally find other things to occupy themselves. Like children for example.

 

You could say I am old enough to see past the hormones. So I don't understand the desperation.

 

What a pointless scam.

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romantic love,passionate love,2 loved one will give their life to each other.i'm sure this kind of love does exist, but just very rare in now days and it is getting less and less.

[TrueColors]

This is absolutely true. Most men would trade "up" if they could in terms of their SO's looks in a heartbeat. If they could get away with it most would cheat. To be honest, most cheat anyways, just not OPENLY. It's just the fact that most women are naive and in denial. They always claim that their husband is a GOOD GUY and would NEVER cheat. Guess what, it IS the good guys that cheat; they are all normal guys, they are our fathers and uncles and have good jobs and are smart. It's not like only "weirdo's" cheat, lots of guys who are well-liked and are considered "nice" or a "cool guy" do. Women are just naive and believe in fairy tales. Married men have sex with prostitutes and escorts all the time. You can get bj's at some strip clubs if you pay extra (don't delude yourself that it doesn't happen, some clubs are notorious for this).

 

Also, remember that most women who get killed get murdered by their husband's or bf. So in addition to most likely getting cheated on, if you are in a relationship, you are also likely to be killed by your adoring husband.

 

Live Happily Ever After Girls

 

If you want to apply that rule to all of man kind, then I guess the same could be said for woman kind too.

 

In fact, with that attitude, I wouldn't put it past you to be the type that would castrate a man if he so much looked at someone else! Or to have cheated yourself - and no, I don't just mean in the physical sense, either.

 

My advice. Choose better. It's types like you who at one point got sucked into the illusion and then when it failed to live up to its expectations, you blame and become bitter. And then swear off ALL men!

 

Have you even looked at why and how you chose to be in unfulfilling relationships? So you may not have been the one to cheat, lie, decieve, whatever, but you still chose (subconsciously)to be with someone who did. Maybe someone who you beleived was the "good guy". But then, wasn't that an illusion in itself?

 

The more I re-read your post, the more I hear, not someone trying to warn others of the "perils" of relationships, but someone who seems to be giving herself the lecture she herself never got - a little too late.

 

Or maybe you did, and just never bothered to listen (because at that point you had still believed in the "illusion"). Until the above happened to you and now you curse yourself for having ever believed in "love" ("the illusion").

 

So no, you're not happy. You're hurt.

Edited October 28, 2011 by TrueColors

[TrueColors]

It's real, alright, but what I see nowadays is that selfishness is just as real and just as strong. You can't love someone else when the love of your life is YOURSELF... it won't matter how many bfs or gfs you have.

 

I think one of the reasons why there are so many divorces nowadays is because a lot of people get into relationships without really knowing what they want... they believe in magic, they think a good relationship will just happen. It doesn't. It takes EFFORT. But they don't want to hear that, and then they get all PO'd when the "magic" doesn't kick in and make things perfect. To me it's just another example of people trying to get out of doing any work.

 

 

I agree.

 

So in answer to the OP, love DOES exist. But only if you accept, respect, care, trust and be completely honest with yourself then that provides the basis for you to be able to love another.

 

However, I think way too many people misinterpret" loving oneself" to be a "selfish" act. "Loving yourself" just means accepting and taking care of yourself. Not expecting someone else to do these things for you. Setting healthy boundaries and values by which you live by but also being open to understanding various perspectives.

 

Anything other than that is what I consider selfish, and therefore not "loving" to yourself or anyone else.

Edited October 28, 2011 by TrueColors