dispatch3d Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I don't know, I can see some of the control coming out. Getting pissy about giving too tiny chunks of cucumbers to my dogs? It just seemed ridiculous to me, him getting mad over something tivial like that. He usually texts me throughout the day, but today- nothing, we haven't spoken. If I was dating a girl I really liked, and she never had sex with me, I'd probably get pissed about cucumbers as well. Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Yeah, you dodged a bullet. You were right about his passive aggressive game. Would have gotten worse. Yeah, text him that you just finished feeding the rest of the cukes to some stray dogs. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 It's a break up. The other day we went for breakfast and he put money in a metre that turned out to be broken and ate his change- he lost his mind in anger over 3 bucks. I was so uncomfortable with his anger that I ran across the street, got change from a variety store and ran back and bought a ticket from a working machine. I know he purposely "punished" me today by witholding contact, he has text/called everyday, throughout the day since we met. So, to be absent all day and then send a text using the word "forgot".... That's passive-aggressive behaviour. I won't accomodate such behaviour. I'm not mis-reading what is going on. I see what you mean about accomodating initially though- when he freaked over the parking metre, I scrambled to pacify him and make the anger go away. It was 3 bucks that he lost, yet he was so angry about it. I was so intent on making the anger stop that I played frogger with my own life and dodged traffic to get to a variety store to get change, make my way back, and soothe the beast. Well you know what they say, the only way to sooth the beast is to wrestle the snake. Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 She only knew him two weeks. No sex should have been expected. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 She only knew him two weeks. No sex should have been expected. lol so what's the go-to amount of time before sex? Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Well, if he farts and talks too much, then longer than two weeks! Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Well, if he farts and talks too much, then longer than two weeks! then get used to angry men who break up with you for "no reason". Gotta have sex to be intimate. Christ if the guy hasn't been chocking the cyclops he's going to be pretty angry after 2 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Really, you would only put in two weeks before cutting bait? I think D-Lish's guy was going to show his true colors regardless of sex. Thank goodness she wasn't chemically attached to him through great sex....but seeing he bought the tiny cucumbers, he might have been sending her a message not to expect much more...so, maybe not so good sex anyway. Maybe frustration fed into the situation, but really, he acted like a jerk regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Really, you would only put in two weeks before cutting bait? I think D-Lish's guy was going to show his true colors regardless of sex. Thank goodness she wasn't chemically attached to him through great sex....but seeing he bought the tiny cucumbers, he might have been sending her a message not to expect much more...so, maybe not so good sex anyway. Maybe frustration fed into the situation, but really, he acted like a jerk regardless. Yeah but d-lish hasn't been auditioning the finger puppets either (thank you google search). So you got one guy who hasn't been doing the five knuckle shuffle and another girl who hasn't been drilling for oil and they are probably going to have a lot more fights about nothing, and have a hard time resolving them. Do you think he would be so mad about parking meters if he just had sex 3 times last night (yes I regret not using another slang term). Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Do you think he would be so mad about parking meters if he just had sex 3 times last night (yes I regret not using another slang term). Honestly.. in reality he probably would have been angrier... He most likely was holding back.. if he had just had sex he wouldn't have felt the need to hold back and she might have seen his real meltdown over a parking meter.. Dude.. it wasn't about sex.. the guy was a passive aggressive chump with more baggage than Delta during Christmas Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Honestly.. in reality he probably would have been angrier... He most likely was holding back.. if he had just had sex he wouldn't have felt the need to hold back and she might have seen his real meltdown over a parking meter.. Dude.. it wasn't about sex.. the guy was a passive aggressive chump with more baggage than Delta during Christmas I agree with AC Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I dunno, as a guy who gets friend zoned all the time, I think no physical stuff going on definitely plays into it. Does he really know if they are dating or just friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I dunno, as a guy who gets friend zoned all the time, I think no physical stuff going on definitely plays into it. Does he really know if they are dating or just friends? He wasn't friendzoned and they didn't have sex but they were making out and stuff.. As far as you being friendzoned.. the only constant I had noticed between all of my relationships and the first dates was the first date kiss.. All of my relationships started with a good first date kiss... That immediately sets the tone and show a woman that you aren't trying to be her friend to be friendzoned. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 He wasn't friendzoned and they didn't have sex but they were making out and stuff.. As far as you being friendzoned.. the only constant I had noticed between all of my relationships and the first dates was the first date kiss.. All of my relationships started with a good first date kiss... That immediately sets the tone and show a woman that you aren't trying to be her friend to be friendzoned. From my point of view, the girl being sexually interested in me is probably the difference . Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 You gave cucumber to the dogs, eh? You really crossed a line there, D. Giving cucumber to the dogs this early in a relationship is a bit of a no no. I thought everyone knew that. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Yeah, I'm done with him. He just texted now and said "sorry, was at a b-day party for my friends wife, got caught up in socializing and forgot to text you back"... Forgot? So childish. Yep, it is childish and PA behaviour. And intentional too. There's no way he 'forgot' about you, that was as subtle as it as it gets. D&ckwad. I guess I'm just going by the fact that he's always been in constant contact, and coincidentally, after last night he gets mad at me for something and then ignores me for the entire day today? I don't care about the not being in constant contact, I don't need it, he's the one that has set the pace. The fact that he suddenly withdrew and then made a point of using the words "forgot" about you. It feels like he's trying to draw me into a game. Don't play the game, it isn't worth it and it'll drive you crazy if you allow yourself to get caught up in it all. When you're ready to either text or talk to him, plain an simple "This isn't going to work, I think we both know this. Take care." No need to go into any lengths of detail or discussion with him about it. You're done and I doubt there's not too much he can do to change your mind. Yeah.. love is when my wife laughs at my jokes.. all of them.. of course she hasn't been laughing at them lately... Hmm, what you do to piss her off AC? Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 If I was dating a girl I really liked, and she never had sex with me, I'd probably get pissed about cucumbers as well. I'm answering you first because you seem to think this is about sex. I've only known him a couple of weeks, we're still getting to know one another. We've had intimate moments, we've talked about liking one another- and we've talked about sex and waiting as well. lol so what's the go-to amount of time before sex? When you're ready. It seems you're damned if you do, damned if you don't when it comes to sex, if you do it too early, you're a whore, if you wait, you're a cock-tease. Two weeks isn't a long time to wait. then get used to angry men who break up with you for "no reason". Gotta have sex to be intimate. Christ if the guy hasn't been chocking the cyclops he's going to be pretty angry after 2 weeks. Personally, I think had I jumped into a sexual relationship with him, he'd be more comfortable getting angry around me. Lack of sex isn't why he's angry, I think he's just an angry guy to begin with. I haven't answered his texts he sent throughout the night. One of them being "why are you so angry at me?" Which is silly, because he left the other night angry at me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Many women are attracted to narcissist men because they appear confident, cocky, and intelligent. However, the confidence is fake and they actually need a punching bag type woman that will volunteer her services to be put down whenever the narcissist needs to boost his ego. Feeding the dog with whatever vegetables he gave the OP was a gargantuan blow to his ego because these folks feel they are special. However, sooner or later they show their true colors. Women like D-lish are able to get rid of these men. Other less fortunate women cling to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 Yep, it is childish and PA behaviour. And intentional too. There's no way he 'forgot' about you, that was as subtle as it as it gets. D&ckwad. Don't play the game, it isn't worth it and it'll drive you crazy if you allow yourself to get caught up in it all. When you're ready to either text or talk to him, plain an simple "This isn't going to work, I think we both know this. Take care." No need to go into any lengths of detail or discussion with him about it. You're done and I doubt there's not too much he can do to change your mind. One thing I can say about myself is that I cannot be manipulated,(fooled sometimes), but not manipulated, I see right through it. I'm also too old to play games. Maybe in my teens I'd see this as an exciting challenge- but that was many years and a divorce ago... Yes, I need to respond to him. I might copy what you said verbatim. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 You gave cucumber to the dogs, eh? You really crossed a line there, D. Giving cucumber to the dogs this early in a relationship is a bit of a no no. I thought everyone knew that. I'll know for next time:o I know how important it is to learn from your mistakes- it won't happen again! Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 (with reference to when to have sex) When you're ready. It seems you're damned if you do, damned if you don't when it comes to sex, if you do it too early, you're a whore, if you wait, you're a cock-tease. Two weeks isn't a long time to wait. Perfect answer. I knew you have your head screwed on right. Link to post Share on other sites
PlumPrincess Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Many women are attracted to narcissist men because they appear confident, cocky, and intelligent. However, the confidence is fake and they actually need a punching bag type woman that will volunteer her services to be put down whenever the narcissist needs to boost his ego. Feeding the dog with whatever vegetables he gave the OP was a gargantuan blow to his ego because these folks feel they are special. However, sooner or later they show their true colors. Women like D-lish are able to get rid of these men. Other less fortunate women cling to them. I found it somewhat thoughtless of her. I'm not sure why nobody else sees it that way. My mom is like that. I get her nice stuff and she just doesn't appreciate it. It gets tossed under a bunch of other stuff, she doesn't even open the package, etc. I find it ungrateful and it really sometimes does not want me to get her anything nice at all. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Here's a sample thread indicating the dynamic between the OP and her dogs. Perhaps not perceived as such by her dating partner, they apparently are long-lived and close companions. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I found it somewhat thoughtless of her. I'm not sure why nobody else sees it that way. My mom is like that. I get her nice stuff and she just doesn't appreciate it. It gets tossed under a bunch of other stuff, she doesn't even open the package, etc. I find it ungrateful and it really sometimes does not want me to get her anything nice at all. OK, lets assume the OP was a bit careless by feeding the cucumbers to the dog in front of this man. Most secure men would not even pay attention to that. Some may even think it is great she is feeding the dog. Your mother is sending you a subliminal message. Next time she wants a better more expensive present. Don't play the game because you will never be able to please your mom. Whatever your mom does with the presents reflects on her and not you. I know it must be difficult to have a mom like that but do not take it personally. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I found it somewhat thoughtless of her. I'm not sure why nobody else sees it that way. My mom is like that. I get her nice stuff and she just doesn't appreciate it. It gets tossed under a bunch of other stuff, she doesn't even open the package, etc. I find it ungrateful and it really sometimes does not want me to get her anything nice at all. I get what you are saying, kinda agree somewhat. For instance, what if a guy gave a woman roses and she cut a few up and threw it in her garden. Or if a woman bought a guy a nice pair of socks and he used one as a dust rag or something. OP didn't feed her dog the cucumber with the intention of pissing him off, he probably construed it as insensitive on her part, his reaction demonstrated that. But what if, she didn't get around to consuming all the cucumbers herself, and had to end up throwing some of it away? Would he become pissy with her for not eating all of the cumcumber? Hmmmm.... Link to post Share on other sites
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