Trimmer Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 (edited) I'm not sure if he is a narcissist, even if he has some qualities. I still think he was really nervous and he's inexperienced so the talking and acting full of himself is just a reaction of nerves and maybe not having the best social skills due to spending too much time alone or working too much. I hear ya, and that's a possibility, but 16 straight hours, right through the night? Even a very nervous "normal guy"... wouldn't he either realize he was going off at some point (when she falls asleep, maybe?) or else just wear out sometime during the night? It just seems likely (not saying I can be sure, though) that there is something else at play here than just nerves. Edited October 19, 2011 by Trimmer Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Plus, he's over 18 so that would make him too old for you. Touchée buddy. Touchée. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 DLishy, Update!!! Shh... she is busy and the Do Not Disturb sign is on the door. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Shh... she is busy and the Do Not Disturb sign is on the door. Hmm, yeah - and from the sounds coming through the wall, he's busy "understanding" her, better than anyone else ever has... Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 *slides D a roll of duct tape under the door* Link to post Share on other sites
JayelleH Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 ugghh . I dated a guy like that in college. he talked 95% of the time, it was as if I was his soundboard or something. when he decided he was into me, he also started trying to change me, suggesting I eat a certain way (no pork etc). he but he was VERY cute so I put up with it for the most part lol. we remained friends for years and even to this he calls me from time to time and monopolizes the entire conversation! I found that telling them they talk too much doesn't really help -- they know and don't really care Link to post Share on other sites
JayelleH Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 DLishy, Update!!! I'm not sure if he is a narcissist, even if he has some qualities. I still think he was really nervous and he's inexperienced so the talking and acting full of himself is just a reaction of nerves and maybe not having the best social skills due to spending too much time alone or working too much. based on what I've read on the subject, it is definitely a form of narcissism. like to hear themselves talk and think what they have to say is the most important of all things to say Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 *slides D a roll of duct tape under the door* ........ Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Muzzle him Given the OP's absence, perhaps she has Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 8 pages on one date? Talk about milking it until it turns sour! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 8 pages on one date? Talk about milking it until it turns sour! Hey now.. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 *slides D a roll of duct tape under the door* D kicks it back out under the door because she has a little red ball in his mouth, held there by rubber straps buckled around his head. And she already has several rolls of duct tape in the nightstand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 Okay, Update. He came over again last night- with more groceries and some more supplements. He cooked me dinner, we watched a movie and he stayed over again. The relationship hasn't turned sexual. I refuse to go there until I get a handle on what kind of situation I am getting myself into. He didn't continue talking as I fell asleep this time:D. I did tell him politely that he talks too much- and he apologized and said he's just nervous because it's been a long time since he met someone he wanted to spend time with. He still talked a lot, but not as much as before. As TBF suggested to me after my last break up, I was more up front about my vulnerabilities. He knows about my anxiety, a bit about what happened with my ex- and we didn't start out getting to know one another with me putting on a facade like I normally do. With my last ex, I presented myself as something I wasn't: Perfectly composed, completely confident and secure, etc, etc... He lives with his brother (they have a business together)... And he told me last night that he told his family about me recently because his brother has been wondering why he's been sleeping elsewhere twice a week for the past little while and it's caused a stir within the family (curiousity). I do believe him when he tells me that he hasn't spent an overnight with a woman in ages. His brother called at midnight last night as I was sitting right next to him and could hear his brother talking. When he told his brother he wasn't coming home I heard his brother say "Holy Sh*t, you have to introduce us to this girl"... For now, he might just be intrigued because I am not "giving it up", I don't know. But rest assured I am not "giving it up" until I am sure. I'm not invested, but I am not ready to give up just yet. Maybe I like him because he does have this tendency to look after me a little. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not around him. I don't remember the last guy I dated that had such a tendency. One thing that is nice is that he doesn't judge me- I know I could tell him anything about me and he wouldn't judge me. I've never felt that way before with any of my ex's. Are there red flags present? Yes. Me admitting to having anxiety and depression issues could be a red flag for him. Am I fully convinced I want to proceed? No, not yet. I am being cautious. I do think he has some selfish tendencies, but so do I. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Okay, Update. He came over again last night- with more groceries and some more supplements. He cooked me dinner, we watched a movie and he stayed over again. The relationship hasn't turned sexual. I refuse to go there until I get a handle on what kind of situation I am getting myself into. He didn't continue talking as I fell asleep this time:D. I did tell him politely that he talks too much- and he apologized and said he's just nervous because it's been a long time since he met someone he wanted to spend time with. He still talked a lot, but not as much as before. As TBF suggested to me after my last break up, I was more up front about my vulnerabilities. He knows about my anxiety, a bit about what happened with my ex- and we didn't start out getting to know one another with me putting on a facade like I normally do. With my last ex, I presented myself as something I wasn't: Perfectly composed, completely confident and secure, etc, etc... He lives with his brother (they have a business together)... And he told me last night that he told his family about me recently because his brother has been wondering why he's been sleeping elsewhere twice a week for the past little while and it's caused a stir within the family (curiousity). I do believe him when he tells me that he hasn't spent an overnight with a woman in ages. His brother called at midnight last night as I was sitting right next to him and could hear his brother talking. When he told his brother he wasn't coming home I heard his brother say "Holy Sh*t, you have to introduce us to this girl"... For now, he might just be intrigued because I am not "giving it up", I don't know. But rest assured I am not "giving it up" until I am sure. I'm not invested, but I am not ready to give up just yet. Maybe I like him because he does have this tendency to look after me a little. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not around him. I don't remember the last guy I dated that had such a tendency. One thing that is nice is that he doesn't judge me- I know I could tell him anything about me and he wouldn't judge me. I've never felt that way before with any of my ex's. Are there red flags present? Yes. Me admitting to having anxiety and depression issues could be a red flag for him. Am I fully convinced I want to proceed? No, not yet. I am being cautious. I do think he has some selfish tendencies, but so do I. Sounds like a refreshing way for you to date. It'll be interesting to see where this will go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 Sounds like a refreshing way for you to date. It'll be interesting to see where this will go. Well, physically, he's as far away from "my type" as I could get. I haven't mentioned it yet, but I'm an Atheist and he's Jewish. Not "practicing", but spiritual. Not my usual cup o' tea. His family is a mix of practicing Jews and Agnostics.... I'm as non-spiritual as they come... Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) Well, physically, he's as far away from "my type" as I could get. Should I interpret that as that you don't find him physically attractive? Or that he's simply not your type, yet still you're physically attracted to him? I haven't mentioned it yet, but I'm an Atheist and he's Jewish. Not "practicing", but spiritual. Not my usual cup o' tea. His family is a mix of practicing Jews and Agnostics.... I'm as non-spiritual as they come... Has he talked about anything religious/spiritual related so far? Edited October 21, 2011 by Nexus One Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 Should I interpret that as that you don't find him physically attractive? Or that he's simply not your type, yet still you're physically attracted to him? Has he talked about anything religious/spiritual related so far? Physically he's not my type. If I passed him on the street I wouldn't turn my head- but he's smarter than anyman I've ever dated, and that makes me more physiclaly attracted to him. Yes, he talks about his spirituality, not incessantly, but enough. I'm not turned off by it. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Physically he's not my type. If I passed him on the street I wouldn't turn my head- but he's smarter than anyman I've ever dated, and that makes me more physiclaly attracted to him. Yes, he talks about his spirituality, not incessantly, but enough. I'm not turned off by it. That explains the lack of sexual interaction. By the way: Why are you an atheist? That is radical! Why not an agnostic? Link to post Share on other sites
OliveOyl Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 That explains the lack of sexual interaction. By the way: Why are you an atheist? That is radical! Why not an agnostic? Pierre, you sure are in a mood to stir things up today! I guess 'cause you can't pick on her for having sex too soon? D, It sounds interesting and like things are going at a good pace. Hope things unfold in a positive manner. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Pierre, you sure are in a mood to stir things up today! I guess 'cause you can't pick on her for having sex too soon? D, It sounds interesting and like things are going at a good pace. Hope things unfold in a positive manner. Women are good at picking personality over looks. In that regard she is doing nothing wrong. Hopefully, this guy is nice. They say that jewish men are excellent husbands. Nothing wrong with being an agnostic. However, atheists can be too fanatical. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 That explains the lack of sexual interaction. By the way: Why are you an atheist? That is radical! Why not an agnostic? Well maybe if I was 20, uneducated, and prone to labelling myself without years of introspection and study of both sides of the coin- I'd say your question is vaild. However, I am twice that age, and I studied Religious Studies in my post secondary stint of education. I don't judge him for being spiritual, but I am an Atheist. I don't label myself lightly, or without careful consideration. The lack of sexual interaction comes from me wanting to be both careful and sure about what I would be getting myself into. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 So you don't know what his dinkler is like yet ... I just wanted to use the word dinkler in a sentence Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 Women are good at picking personality over looks. In that regard she is doing nothing wrong. Hopefully, this guy is nice. They say that jewish men are excellent husbands. Nothing wrong with being an agnostic. However, atheists can be too fanatical. In what way? If I was fanatical, I'd steer clear of getting close to people that don't cling to the same belief system. Do you think I go to" Atheist's" meetings every week and conspire against those that don't see the world in the same way I do? Perhaps conspire to alienate others that don't see the world in the same way, perhaps judge them? I think that's called "Church".... Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 So you don't know what his dinkler is like yet ... I just wanted to use the word dinkler in a sentence I felt it against my back this morning, and against my leg on more than a few occasions, but I haven't seen his dinkler yet:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Sounds like a refreshing way for you to date. It'll be interesting to see where this will go. I agree. I love that you can be yourself around him, tell him about your anxiety and stuff. It's good because he's getting to know ALL of you. hehehe, I told you he was a nervous talker and inexperienced. Atleast you know he has a dinkler and it's awake and alive! Never rush a good thing. Enjoy and just get to know him, fool around and stuff. No need to bang-bang so quickly! Link to post Share on other sites
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