WTF...3 years after breakup now a email?

[Sugarkane]

I can relate I'f my ex contacts me I'd be confused and pissed off too.

[Dmoney28]

hey Coupe, hang in there. I wish i could give you a magic formula or a time table. The Only thing that helped me was Time and no contact. Like so many others on Love shack, i wanted to know when...when does the hurt stop? when will i stop thinking about the pain? when will i be better? and like so many, i refused to do NC. i thought i could "win" over with the new me, that i can show her i changed. But like Ifiknewthen said, she already had her mind made up, ..weeks in avance about leaving. My last act os selfihness prety much hammered the last nail in the coffin.

 

Unfortunaly i dont own a time machine ( although there were many nites i wish i had one). Whats done, is done. No matter how much a person cries, pleads, hopes and begs...it happened. All you can do is step outside the situation, and look at what YOU did wrong. At this point, whatever she did to help caue the breakup, dosent matter. What matters, is that you work on yourself. If you need to cry...dammit cry, get the hurt out. If you need burry yourself in work, or physical activites...become a MR Olympia. Suicide may look tempting, but like someone told me..."Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem".

 

I know what its like to be at that point, im sure many here know that feeling. Bleak, all cosuming despair, rejection and lonilness. The Gambit of "what ifs" that flood the mind. Constantly checking my cell for txt's and missed calls. Afaid to go outside and be in public. I would take mile long walks to get my head clear.In the begining, she was all i thought of...i mean, from the time i got up ...to the time i went to bed. And this lasted well into a year. We had mutual friends, and they would try to tell what she was up to. Dude, do i really need to hear that? um no. My then close friend tried to get with her behind my back. All of this during a time when i had 0 self esteem....you know the brownish, blackish scum under the fridge..i envied that. I was unemployed, a alchoholic, broke and had to move back in with my parents, because she wanted me out...oh did i mentioned that she was talking to a NFL wide reciever a couple months later..that one kinda stang, lol.

 

I put her on a masive pedastel, to me she was the very essence of purity and the pinnacle of female virtue. But now, i dont really know her. Its been so long, i dont see her the same way anymore. She's almost like a stranger

 

But..TIME Helped me. It took a good solid 1.5 years before i felt remotly better. But i do. I cant stress NC enough. You have to have NC. All that LC is nothing but bull, its false hope. False hope kills. LC is a way for the dumper to keep you around long enough to where they are comfortable with starting a new relationship. Its selfish, but its human nature. If i were smart i would have said my peace after the Breakup, and went completly NC....dissapear from the radar. I would have healed faster that way.

 

My ex went right from me...to another relashionship. Im not sure if she even had a "grieving" period. She was hurt, and she was in pain. I know, because whenever we talked on the phone post breakup, she would start crying 10 min into the conversation. If that has anything to do with her contacting me now...i have no clue. But i cant be someones sounding board whenever they get a hint of nostalgia. It wasnt fair of me to contact her in her new life and new relationship then....and its not fair for her to contact me during my healing process now. Stay up Coupe and whoever else is reading this. Kind words from peope like Ifiknewthen and the others who posted on my thread will help you in your healing. Im not sure when i will lower this wall i built over the years completly...but eventually i will meet someone worth lowering it all the way for.

[IfiKnewThen]

quote: But if she did take me back, i wouldnt have changed. i would have gone back to being that angry A-hole. Like you, i changed. True change isnt easy. Change is painful and difficult. It has to be that way. if not.. it wouldnt last long.

 

 

quote: Its almost funny..well it is funny, lol..i addressed those issues..delt with my anger..calmed my heart and learned to be honest. And she isnt in my life anymore.

 

 

gosh this is so true. can really relate to this.

[MovingOn13]

Wow man. Your original post resonates so much with me man. I am 21, and my ex first love of 5 years broke up with me in january in a cold manner. I went NC from day 1.

 

She never bothered to txt me, call me nothing it was as if i didnt matter to her at all. then in june i get a fb friend request. No message, no email just a f'ing request. It's still pending and always will be still pending. No reaction from me.

 

It made me furious and brought me back emotionally a bit. It made me stalk her a bit, saw stupid look-at-how-much-fun i am having posts on my best friends wall etc.

 

I encourage you to do continue ignoring for the sake of your emotional healing. I can't stand that some people are so passive. If you want to talk, email, call do something more personal than a f'ing online friend request. It still amazes me the audacity my ex has to do that to me. 5 years and you want to be fb friends? gtfo.

[betterdeal]

I was unemployed, a alchoholic, broke and had to move back in with my parents

 

What are you now?

[whichwayisup]

I go to check my email this morning, and i see a facebook friend reuest from my ex GF. She dumped me 3 years ago, and it has been 2 years Strick NC. Her last words to me after i ran into her and her new man at a resturaunt was.."you wasted 4 years of my life, what we had was nothing...DONT EVER CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN..EVER". well i did exactly that. after the 8 months of alcholism, 1.5 years of seeing a psychologist and unemployment. I got a job as a military contractor, i lived in hawaii, guam, japan and all over the US. i dated a former miss micronesia( yeah, she was hot) when i was in guam, partied in hawaii, entered a amatuer male fitness contest in san diego ( placed 4th) and pretty much got my life back together. I dont understand her need to contact me. I gave her every material possesion of value we had together, apologised for my actions leading up to the breakup. Honestly it was hard getting over that relationship...obviously since im posting here. Part of me is pissed..pissed that she didnt respect my feelings regarding this issue.

 

Half of me felt numb when i saw her facebook request..the other half is pissed..pissed that i bent over backwards to make "Amends". Pissed that i looked like a crazy person for a year chasing her...pissed that thought about her and only her for a year..pissed that i couldnt date anyone for over a year because i still loved her. Pissed that she made contact knowing what i went through...in a small way, i felt like seeing that request set me back...so many nites i wished i heard from her...now its like ..meh. I dont want to know about her and her man...i dont want to know about any possible children..i dont care. i simply did nothing regarding the request...and i dont think i ever will. Now im thinking about her again..dammit. Its because of that whole oredeal that i have commitment issues. i broke up with 3 women this year because i was getting freaked out when it was getting serious. Im scared they will break up with me, and i will go through that whole ordeal with another person. I dont think i can make out alive again...im embarassed to say, im scared emotionally from all that craziness.

 

Anyone else have a similar situation? am i wrong for feeling the way i do? 2 years NC and it feels blemished..like a * next to a sports record...

Why cant people just let old wounds heal?

 

Click ignore friend request and then block her. She has some nerve and no clue.

 

Not all women are like your ex, so please, try to let someone else into your heart. Love is wonderful.. Yes, you can be guarded, but once you get to know someone else, start to have feelings, be honest and talk to the woman and let her know why you have some past hurts.

 

Don't let your ex ruin all that hard work you've done on yourself.

[IfiKnewThen]

wow there's a song thats gotta ring true. just posted on here in coping. a FB song. are you .....kidding me, is the name? how ironic it came out now or was circulated here. thought of you right away.

[Sugarkane]

I really hope that these people also get dumped in the same way: email, text, disappearing act. And that they never get any closure. I have zero empathy for these dumpers. I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. I mean contacting you YEARS later? That always makes me laugh. Too little, too late.

[betterdeal]

Gotta lot of anger there, SugarKane. When a battered wife (or husband) does a moonlight flit, moves into a halfway house, without nary a word of goodbye or thank you, do you have no sympathy for them?

[Sugarkane]

Gotta lot of anger there, SugarKane. When a battered wife (or husband) does a moonlight flit, moves into a halfway house, without nary a word of goodbye or thank you, do you have no sympathy for them?

Of coarse I would feel empathy for them. But my ex wasn't a battered husband. He was a cheater.

[Sugarkane]

Being a battered wife/husband is a different kettle of fish. They left because they have too and are in danger. That's different to leaving a good relationship for no reason. And dumping the person by text, email or fb, because you've been cheating on them and are too much if a coward to be honest.

[J0N]

I completely agree with Sugarkane. A battered wife/husband is another thing entirely. Most of the people that post here (myself included) were dumped by people that we thought loved us.

 

A few months before my ex and I broke up, her little sister got the crap beaten out of her by her ex boyfriend. Things like this are totally not okay, the guy ended up getting convicted and is doing time. Her little sister really knew how to pick them. I think that most people on this forum are not in this situation.

 

My ex dumped me via text message in a cold and cruel way, as much as I wanted to reason with her about it I went strict nc almost immediately. I loved her and would have done anything for her, even if that meant leaving her alone.

[michelleishere]

I go to check my email this morning, and i see a facebook friend reuest from my ex GF. She dumped me 3 years ago, and it has been 2 years Strick NC. Her last words to me after i ran into her and her new man at a resturaunt was.."you wasted 4 years of my life, what we had was nothing...DONT EVER CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN..EVER". well i did exactly that. after the 8 months of alcholism, 1.5 years of seeing a psychologist and unemployment. I got a job as a military contractor, i lived in hawaii, guam, japan and all over the US. i dated a former miss micronesia( yeah, she was hot) when i was in guam, partied in hawaii, entered a amatuer male fitness contest in san diego ( placed 4th) and pretty much got my life back together. I dont understand her need to contact me. I gave her every material possesion of value we had together, apologised for my actions leading up to the breakup. Honestly it was hard getting over that relationship...obviously since im posting here. Part of me is pissed..pissed that she didnt respect my feelings regarding this issue.

 

Half of me felt numb when i saw her facebook request..the other half is pissed..pissed that i bent over backwards to make "Amends". Pissed that i looked like a crazy person for a year chasing her...pissed that thought about her and only her for a year..pissed that i couldnt date anyone for over a year because i still loved her. Pissed that she made contact knowing what i went through...in a small way, i felt like seeing that request set me back...so many nites i wished i heard from her...now its like ..meh. I dont want to know about her and her man...i dont want to know about any possible children..i dont care. i simply did nothing regarding the request...and i dont think i ever will. Now im thinking about her again..dammit. Its because of that whole oredeal that i have commitment issues. i broke up with 3 women this year because i was getting freaked out when it was getting serious. Im scared they will break up with me, and i will go through that whole ordeal with another person. I dont think i can make out alive again...im embarassed to say, im scared emotionally from all that craziness.

 

Anyone else have a similar situation? am i wrong for feeling the way i do? 2 years NC and it feels blemished..like a * next to a sports record...

Why cant people just let old wounds heal?

 

Hello

 

I have a different take on this situation. I HAD to leave a guy who I loved so much because the things he did would have destroyed us. Before I left I told him to change - he would not. AFTER I leave he changes. Did that annoy me? YES. Why wouldn't he change for me? I think about contacting him all the time - I still miss him, I still love him.

 

She probably just misses you. She is probably was hurt that you changed after she left, not when you were with her.

 

Like your ex, I got a b/friend after the break up but my thoughts were with my ex. Like your ex, I told my ex to leave me alone. I was hurt he would not change for me.

 

I am glad you have worked on yourself but just know your ex probably misses you because you are someone that she holds near and dear in her heart

[Dmoney28]

Thank you for your post, michellishere. I can see your point. I still have feelings for her, even after so long. But i dont understand why dosent she just send a simple email like..."hey, its been a while. I wanted to catch up, if thats cool with you". I wouldnt have a problem responding to something like that. A face book request is too vague. There is no way i can see her intention behind that.

 

Maybe because im a guy, its hard for me to understand her motives..if there is a motive or reason at all. Seems like a silly reason to open up old wounds, just to say hello. There was alot of tears, hurt feelings and insecurity involved in our final convo's. I know she was a very prideful women. educated, beautiful and indepenent. so i can see why she wouldnt contact me directly. But the facebook request seems more like a "just wanted to see if you are still alive " type of deal. Or like she's bored and playing games. Im not nostrodamus...i know she dosent expect to read her mind on this matter. not sure. and honestly i spent waaayyyy to long trying to figure it out. for now, i just take it as the later. I was pissed earlier , but now im kinda like whatever, got a lot stuff going on with work and im restoring my 69 Chevy Nova (2 year project and counting). Just a side note, i ran into her mother sat at Target, i was comming out the restroom, and she was right there.i was like "oh sh*t"..... i smiled, noded and kept it pushing.

 

Hey ifiknewthen, that face book song post had me laughing...so true.

[Coupedriver]

I honestly wouldn't know what to Dmoney28.I keep coming back to your post..I keep thinking...3 years and then...this.I keep thinking about what you said.."her motives or reason."..I wonder if she thinks she made a mistake and might be trying to reach out to you....? Or is she like some other ex's who contact us..like poking a half dead animal..."Is it still alive..??"

Would be nice if you could contact a friend of hers and see what she wants...I don't why this post and others like it bother me so much.Whats that Nova got in it..? Better be a BIG BLOCK...!!

[michelleishere]

Thank you for your post, michellishere. I can see your point. I still have feelings for her, even after so long. But i dont understand why dosent she just send a simple email like..."hey, its been a while. I wanted to catch up, if thats cool with you". I wouldnt have a problem responding to something like that. A face book request is too vague. There is no way i can see her intention behind that.

 

Maybe because im a guy, its hard for me to understand her motives..if there is a motive or reason at all. Seems like a silly reason to open up old wounds, just to say hello. There was alot of tears, hurt feelings and insecurity involved in our final convo's. I know she was a very prideful women. educated, beautiful and indepenent. so i can see why she wouldnt contact me directly. But the facebook request seems more like a "just wanted to see if you are still alive " type of deal. Or like she's bored and playing games. Im not nostrodamus...i know she dosent expect to read her mind on this matter. not sure. and honestly i spent waaayyyy to long trying to figure it out. for now, i just take it as the later. I was pissed earlier , but now im kinda like whatever, got a lot stuff going on with work and im restoring my 69 Chevy Nova (2 year project and counting). Just a side note, i ran into her mother sat at Target, i was comming out the restroom, and she was right there.i was like "oh sh*t"..... i smiled, noded and kept it pushing.

 

Hey ifiknewthen, that face book song post had me laughing...so true.

 

I would not contact my ex and say, 'hello how are you?' I would have done the same thing as your ex (sorry). Also, I am sorry you are in pain - BIG HUGS! I guess all I am trying to say is that she is in pain too. Please do NOT think I am having a dig at you but it still deeply hurts me that I had to leave my ex cause he would not change and then when I left he started working on change. I was left feeling: 'was I really worth not changing for?' I was soooooo angry for so long about it. I can tell you this, it was such an unselfish loving thing she did and that action shows how much she loved and repected you. Why not take the first step and send her an email asking how she is? I am sure that her intention is good - she left for YOUR benefit - now that's respect!!!

When I have contacted my ex my intention was to see how he was and (yes) I still wish we were together but I would never admit that (don't know what your ex;s intention is - sorry). My GUESS is that you hold a special place in her heart.

Chin up! Big hugs!!! Let me know what you decide to do

[Dmoney28]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement Michelleishere, its nice to see it from another view point. Although im not really in deep pain anymore. its more like a accute annoyance or irritation inside. The pain left awhile ago, when i accepted things for what they were. Its like having a emotional hang nail now....as apposed to the Multiple gunshot wounds to the chest a year and a half ago. I did what everone does when they first break up..Begged her on her front porch, sent flowers, posted apology videos on youtube ( that by far was the worst, lol), facebook stalked ( so nice seeing 20+ new male friends), made late night drives by her house and a number of other things. I cringe looking back on what i did. I looked like a psychopath. Thats not including all the other stuff to "make amends" i mentioned in my first post.

 

However, since then i am a totally new person. physicaly, emotionally, mentality, ambition, and finacially. I dont think i want to give up this new peace of mind to plunge into emotional limbo again. if that makes sense. Although i wouldnt be hurt like i was then, just that un easy nervous.."ok, is she going to KEEP communicating with me now that i acepted her friend request" feeling, isnt fun either. There are several other factors as well

 

1. i believe she still has a boyfriend, saw a pic of her and some dude on her yahoo mail profile(i saw it when i checked the email with the facebook request). for some reason yahoo feels they need to attach a pic to your emails among Yahoo contacts.

 

2.I wont go into detail about why we broke up exactly..lets just say i F'd up big time..big time

 

3.the time leading up to Final No Contact, she like you, still asked how i was..if i was ok, blah blah. This mentaly f'd with my head. Gave me that dreaded false hope, that she would forgive me, and maybe want to start opening up regular communication...wrong. I ran into her and her new boyfriend..all of that went out the window from her end, fast. Thats when i went on the long road of true NC. And it worked wonders for me.

 

I dont doubt that she misses me in some shape or form. But im going to keep 100. With the exception of my buddies wife, i dont have many female friends. When i say friends, i mean hang out and talk more than once a week. So how would we hang out in that sense?

 

This is how a see the senario going if i accept her friends request.....

me- ok, i accepted..., i guess i'll send her a message. "hey, whats up, how are you?

her- "im good, its been a while. Whats new with you"

me- "oh, so much, etc, etc, blah , blah, whats new with you?"

her "well, me and my boyfriend or getting married in a month. I sold the condo we had together and im expecting my first baby in march. I hope everything is cool, and im glad things are better in your life. its nice to talk you again".

me-"um, ok....i guess it was nice catching up with you. take care"

back to doing what i was doing before she contacted me

 

Did i really need to open up, old feelings and thoughts to here something i 1.already knew

2.could have pieced together in my own mind

 

now i know this may or may not happen in real life...i have no idea. but just seems like a empty gesture to find out we both moved on. I guess im trying to say is what will come out of it? Will anything come out it? not sure it would be wise to dig up this old skeleton to find out. But i think i might accept the friend request. I feel my heart is kinda calloused towards the whole matter. I admit that although i healed, it was more of a survival type of deal. Like i have to get over her if i ever want to be a function, attractive and productive man again. If i had to soak up all the ugliness to harden my heart to get to that point..so be it.

 

Hey coupe...Big block of course brother, lol. mostly original parts..mostly, Didnt want to do any heavy heavy mods, but she's comming along nice.

[IfiKnewThen]

wow i agree with you dmoney28 on a number of fronts.

 

my gosh what is wrong with people? a friend request? why oh why, cant people speak up and say...."hey was thinking of you and wondering how you are?" and FEEL the situation out first? then if it goes ok...one can "friend request".

 

to me, a friend request is all too cavalier. its like someone saying to an ex..."i am clueless as to what youre doing or how you feel, so much so, that i am thinking....no big deal, friend request"

 

i wish i could articulate this better. and the kicker is friend requests are personal too. in that you get to see a synopsis of the persons business and them see yours.yet its also bold. i mean even if she has a boyfriend. doesn't she care that she putting ex's on fb? i mean it could be harmless but would her boyfriend really want that? i dont know. to me this should be reserved for people who matter too. but, all too often people chose all old friends and people from school they never talked to. i don't think her intention is as deep or meaningful as someone else might think. i think a dialog shows a person with more genuine concern and interest for the OTHERS feelings. but approaching them fist and saying hello. but its a new age. different thinking. just seems clueless and detached.

 

i know you said you were an ********* at times and i dont know this woman from adam, but she sounds a wee bit self absorbed. but i don't know. you know her better and you don't know her now, and i certainly don't know her at all. yikes dont mean to confuse things.

\

i think the decision you made sounds solid dmoney28..and believe me....i am not about "NO CONTACT". i believe some things need to be said. i believe, like it says in the bible, to everything there is a season and a "time". and sometimes that does mean contact.

 

here's what else i believe, if it calls to you to contact her...then do it. but if your inner voice and gut and intuition says don't...not now...then don't. life is short so i don't say "no contact" to people (almost ever). i am not of the absolutely no contact school of thought at all. sometimes its appropriate and feels right to someone. but sometimes it doesn't. the good part is that now that she made some move you have the option of responding when you want and have an excuse/reason to open dioalog on your terms with your own intro. but you have to do it in your time. your season. when and if it speaks to you.

[Newflor32]

Dmoney, i agree with your reasoning. There may be no need to break nc just because she wants to hear from u. If u have any doubts let it go, keep healing. Maybe u should leave the request dont respond to it but dont deny it and if it bothers u to leave it there then perhaps thats a sign u should delete it. You gave her what she wanted not its time for u to fully heal yourself and be ready to love again when the time is right.

[Dmoney28]

IfiKnewThen, your post just further solidfied my choice. The bible does offer good advice for life in general (not slamming any other religeon or belief). And in all due season is true. The weird thing is i dont get upset when i see pics of her or with another guy...i just dont anymore. I emotionally removed myself from all that so long ago, its dosent phase me as much. Before, if someone even brought up her name i would fall into a funk. Now its like "ehh, oh well, keep on trucking". But i do still have feelings for her...i just cant describe what they are exactly. Im not angry, Im not sad...just kinda miss her and her personality. I have dated, hooked up with and had qausi semi relationships since then. But i never felt the same connection as with her. Im in a WAY better place now, so she dosent have the same psychological effect on me anymore. But i still think of her, and the good times we had. The connection of being able to sit on the couch together; and say nothing while smiling at each other; drinking coffee etc. I was the reason why we broke up...so i guess that kinda slants my view towards acepting her request.

 

Newflor32, thanks for your comment. it would be kinda silly to backtrack now. although im not 100% healed, i do feel like im doing well emotionally. . I'm not in a rush to start a relationship. If it happens cool...but im not going to make it my lifes mission to find someone..anyone.

 

I have though about it, and i will accept her friends request. Im not a facebook person ..i rarely go on, if at all. So postings and pics from her want really phase me. And if does...bye bye "friend", lol

[michelleishere]

IfiKnewThen, your post just further solidfied my choice. The bible does offer good advice for life in general (not slamming any other religeon or belief). And in all due season is true. The weird thing is i dont get upset when i see pics of her or with another guy...i just dont anymore. I emotionally removed myself from all that so long ago, its dosent phase me as much. Before, if someone even brought up her name i would fall into a funk. Now its like "ehh, oh well, keep on trucking". But i do still have feelings for her...i just cant describe what they are exactly. Im not angry, Im not sad...just kinda miss her and her personality. I have dated, hooked up with and had qausi semi relationships since then. But i never felt the same connection as with her. Im in a WAY better place now, so she dosent have the same psychological effect on me anymore. But i still think of her, and the good times we had. The connection of being able to sit on the couch together; and say nothing while smiling at each other; drinking coffee etc. I was the reason why we broke up...so i guess that kinda slants my view towards acepting her request.

 

Newflor32, thanks for your comment. it would be kinda silly to backtrack now. although im not 100% healed, i do feel like im doing well emotionally. . I'm not in a rush to start a relationship. If it happens cool...but im not going to make it my lifes mission to find someone..anyone.

 

I have though about it, and i will accept her friends request. Im not a facebook person ..i rarely go on, if at all. So postings and pics from her want really phase me. And if does...bye bye "friend", lol

 

Hey!

 

I was wondering how you were going. I just wanted to say thanks for your post, our stories are kinda similar. I broke up with my ex because he f**ked up sooo much and did not change. I left him and he decides to change (well, at least that's what I was told). He did all the typcial things: called, tried to give me presents, wrote letters and so forth. He ignores me to but I still send the birthday cards and so forth. I wonder if he sometimes misses and thinks of me, like you think of your ex. I thought since he ignored me that he doesn't .... he might not but your post made me realise that he might. Oh, now I miss him...........

 

I'm glad you accepted her request to be friends.......I smiled when I read that!

Edited October 26, 2011 by michelleishere
added more

[Dmoney28]

hey michelleishere, yeah i sure he misses you still. Anytime people were in a longterm relationship, some feelings still linger. But if he's like me...pride is preventing him from showing it. Me and your ex both f'd our relationshps. if he changed like me, he probly has a little resentmnet. Resentment because you (her) didnt stay long enough to see the change first hand. I know its weird and twisted logic. Because if you guys didnt leave us, we wouldnt have change. There would have been no reason too, if you were still in our lives....putting up with our BS daily. You guys had to leave...for yourself. We needed the spark of change(your abscense) to re-evaluate ourselves and who we were. I didnt like who was after the breakup. I didnt like the things i was doing. So with my ex out of the picture for good i was like "damn, im alone and im still a terrible person. i dont like this...what can i do to change my life". and so the Long path of improvement and most importanlty NC.

 

True Change is painfull..it hurts. If it were painless and easy..everyone would do it. Which is why in my opinon people who get back together right after a nasty breakup are doomed to fail. Because neither person "fixed" themselves. A buddy of mine and his girl would do horrible things in thier relationship (cheat, lie, etc), they broke up at least 3 times. And got right back together immediatly. They are married now, and are having SO many problems. There were times i had to restrain him form hitting her. They constanly argue and fight. All underlying issues from all the lies and deciet and hurt feelings over the years. None of these probles were ever resolved...they never took time to

1. get themselvs right

2. re-evaluate thier relationship

 

I rather be alone than deal with that maddness on daily basis, F*** that

 

so yeah it sucks that people have to break up...but its need for people to get better and address thier problems.

[Coupedriver]

DMoney28...whats up man...?Haven't heard nothing from you...Hope everything is ok.

[IfiKnewThen]

omg dmoney28!!~! i never saw your post of october 26th. just read it now for the first time today!! Nov. 3rd. i didnt get the update from lovshack about any of these posts.

 

first of all yes.....as coupe said. how are you? you ok? wow you accepted the request. how's it going? i am proud of you for doing what you wanted and spoke to you and you felt you were ready for at the time. but hows it going?

 

also quoting you: Me and your ex both f'd our relationshps. if he changed like me, he probly has a little resentmnet. Resentment because you (her) didnt stay long enough to see the change first hand. I know its weird and twisted logic. Because if you guys didnt leave us, we wouldnt have change. There would have been no reason too, if you were still in our lives....putting up with our BS daily. You guys had to leave...for yourself. We needed the spark of change(your abscense) to re-evaluate ourselves and who we were. I didnt like who was after the breakup. I didnt like the things i was doing. So with my ex out of the picture for good i was like "damn, im alone and im still a terrible person. i dont like this...what can i do to change my life". and so the Long path of improvement and most importanlty NC.

 

 

this is how i feel too . i was the one who messed up royally. and i say in my head now, if he only knew how much i changed. its such a daughting kick in the pants.

 

please write back to us with any update. take care

[Rorschach64]

Not to jack this thread, god knows it interests me where Dmoney's story is going, Ifiknewthen I would like to ask you a question. Was your break up mutual, if not who was the dumper, and how long did it take you to realize your short comings/faults without your ex in the picture?