Exgirlfriend cheated and I (might) still have feelings...

[Gazelle8675]

So... My current exgirlfriend and I had a relationship of almost 3 years when she went to Europe and cheated on me. She didn't have sex with anyone, but she made out with, got fingered by, and gave a handjob to another guy.. She only did this much once, but made out with him a second time after alcohol was involved... I broke up with her and am non-exclusively dating another girl whom I really like. I'm not sure if I still have feelings for my ex, but she says she still loves me. Basically I dont know what to do about my ex... Or if there is anything that I can do. This is the first place I've admitted anything... Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[PegNosePete]

I would bet my bottom dollar that she has not told you the full story. Nobody makes out, gives a handjob and fingers without having sex. Especially if it happens twice.

 

Why on earth are you still talking to her after she treated you like that?

[Chi townD]

Pete's right. I don't think you're getting the entire truth. Cheaters tend to tell you the bare minimum to make it look like it's not as bad as it really is. Plus, you have no way to verify the truth. So, you get the watered down version.

[RiverRunning]

The watered-down version is still pretty bad. She was intimate with somebody else. I have to agree with the others - why are you still talking to her? Go no-contact and give yourself the chance to move on from her. I bet then you won't be saying to yourself - a few months down the line - "I still have feelings for her and I want to be back with her."

[Lucky_One]

There is nothing to do about your ex. You two are broken up. Unless you WANT to do something with her.

 

There are many many people who will tell you that every word that comes out of a cheater's mouth is a lie, there are many, many people who will tell you that she had sex with him (and thus, by extension, she had sex with the entire Manchester football team). and there are many, many people who will tell you that a R can not be salvaged after cheating.

 

But R's can be salvaged, although it takes hard work, time, and desire on both parts. Cheaters don't tell lies with every breath. And sometimes cheaters are honest about the extent of the cheating.

 

With THAT said, do you still love and miss your ex? If so, then a hard, honest dialog might be the first place to start, to see if you both feel the same amount of fervor and love that it will take for healthy reconciliation.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[Layzie89]

Where was her 'love' for you when she was getting fingered and giving this guy a handjob? Surely she would have thought 'This isn't right, I have a boyfriend' and continued with the act. She has no respect for you and taking her back will only show her that she can get away with cheating, and it will happen again. Take the high road amd bounce.

[nofool4u]

So... My current exgirlfriend and I had a relationship of almost 3 years when she went to Europe and cheated on me. She didn't have sex with anyone, but she made out with, got fingered by, and gave a handjob to another guy

 

and you know this because she told you right?

 

they did ALL this stuff.......but no sex. ya right. she played you. cheaters will say they did other things, but not sex, thinking if they say they didn't have sex that its forgivable.

 

either way, she cheated, having sex shouldn't have any bearing on whether she should have been dumped

 

 

I'm not sure if I still have feelings for my ex, but she says she still loves me.

 

if you have feelings for someone that would so callously screw you over like that, then all I can say is you need to man up. Give the new girl a chance, someone that hasn't given you any reason to believe she is a POS cheater.

 

 

Basically I dont know what to do about my ex... Or if there is anything that I can do. This is the first place I've admitted anything... Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

if for some dumb reason you decide to get back with your X, then expect to be cheated on again. and if you do get back with her and she cheats again, and she will cheat again, then don't go running back to the girl you are currently seeing her. she doesn't deserve to be treated like a back burner, dangling on the string, 2nd choice.

[nofool4u]

and again, not that it matters in the relevance of cheating.

 

but she was in Europe, cheated twice, and she DID screw the guy.