Short Term Relationships

[YouNeverKnow86]

Have you ever had an intense short term relationship that seemed perfect but abruptly ended after a few months. If so can you answer these:

 

1).How long did it last?

2).Why did you breakup?

3).Were you the dumper or dumpee?

4).Was it a bad breakup?

5).How long did you remain in no contact?

6).Did you ever get back together or become friends again?

 

Thanks guys, I just experienced this and it was something I never experienced before. Totally mind blowing

[smudge21]

The reason I'm here is following the break up of a short term relationship. It's what I find so odd considering how long it lasted, and how long the heartbreak is going on.

 

1).How long did it last? - hard to say as things built up slowly over a month, lasted a few months, but then faded slowly. In total probably 4 months from nothing then back to nothing (well, back to friends).

 

2).Why did you breakup? - she decided to go back to her on/off long term boyfriend who she'd left loads of time over a 7 years.

 

3).Were you the dumper or dumpee? - dumpee.

 

4).Was it a bad breakup? - no, it was mutual. She never really said she wanted anything serious and at the time, neither did I. Sadly because we spent a lot of time together and I still saw her due to work, I got feelings... feelings I didn't want or wish I had for her. I couldn't stop them and they just grew the further she moved away.

 

5).How long did you remain in no contact? - We tried friends but it was too much for me so I said goodbye. Went NC for about 5/6 months until she got in touch - just to try and get the friendship back.

 

6).Did you ever get back together or become friends again? - She's tried to get the friendship back but I can't. Told her that maybe one day, but in truth, I doubt I'll ever go back. As the split was mutual with no anger, I still have feelings and think I always will. There will always be that regret on my part and the feeling that I went through this pain, but didn't have the long term relationship first. I feel cheated in many ways.

 

I'm guessing you may feel as confused and cheated as I do. Confused that you feel so strongly after only a short time, and cheated that you didn't have the long term thing yet you still have all the pain of one.

[YouNeverKnow86]

The reason I'm here is following the break up of a short term relationship. It's what I find so odd considering how long it lasted, and how long the heartbreak is going on.

 

1).How long did it last? - hard to say as things built up slowly over a month, lasted a few months, but then faded slowly. In total probably 4 months from nothing then back to nothing (well, back to friends).

 

2).Why did you breakup? - she decided to go back to her on/off long term boyfriend who she'd left loads of time over a 7 years.

 

3).Were you the dumper or dumpee? - dumpee.

 

4).Was it a bad breakup? - no, it was mutual. She never really said she wanted anything serious and at the time, neither did I. Sadly because we spent a lot of time together and I still saw her due to work, I got feelings... feelings I didn't want or wish I had for her. I couldn't stop them and they just grew the further she moved away.

 

5).How long did you remain in no contact? - We tried friends but it was too much for me so I said goodbye. Went NC for about 5/6 months until she got in touch - just to try and get the friendship back.

 

6).Did you ever get back together or become friends again? - She's tried to get the friendship back but I can't. Told her that maybe one day, but in truth, I doubt I'll ever go back. As the split was mutual with no anger, I still have feelings and think I always will. There will always be that regret on my part and the feeling that I went through this pain, but didn't have the long term relationship first. I feel cheated in many ways.

 

I'm guessing you may feel as confused and cheated as I do. Confused that you feel so strongly after only a short time, and cheated that you didn't have the long term thing yet you still have all the pain of one.

 

I know exactly how you feel and honestly screw them. What it comes down to is their selfishness in getting into the relationship in the first place when they never actually wanted one (fill a void in their life) or the fact they ran from something great and couldn't deal with it. Either way the problem lies within them, we know what we want/are looking for while they are still confused. We are in a better place.

 

Did she ever say something like "there is something missing" or "our relationship evolved into friendship"?

[smudge21]

I know exactly how you feel and honestly screw them. What it comes down to is their selfishness in getting into the relationship in the first place when they never actually wanted one (fill a void in their life) or the fact they ran from something great and couldn't deal with it. Either way the problem lies within them, we know what we want/are looking for while they are still confused. We are in a better place.

 

Did she ever say something like "there is something missing" or "our relationship evolved into friendship"?

 

To be fair, she was honest from the start and I was more than happy just to have "some fun". It was after the fun ended that my feelings grew until I realised I wanted more than she was prepared to offer. It was me who kept in touch thinking I could take it back to friends, but that was living a lie that nearly killed me last Xmas. I said goodbye for my own good and have tried to stay NC ever since.

 

So with that said, our "relationship" was indeed not only short lived but not as full on as other relationships I've had. Which is why I'm so confused as to why I feel this way after so long... and why I've been here ever since looking for those answers.

[jenjen83]

1).How long did it last?

 

4 months

 

2).Why did you breakup?

 

He said he didn't want a girlfriend

 

3).Were you the dumper or dumpee?

 

dumpee

 

4).Was it a bad breakup?

 

so-so

 

5).How long did you remain in no contact?

 

Can't remember

 

6).Did you ever get back together or become friends again?

 

I tried at the start but found it was stopping me from moving on.