Fighting numbness now. -Thoughts of the depressed-

[Dejin]

Why do I feel so depressed these nights? I have a good life overall. I'm about to graduate high school, my TKD is going well, I have many friends to fall back on, and my family life is good. So why am I like this? My past isn't good with my ex, but that doesn't really bother me deep down anymore. I've forgiven my father for what he's done to me when I was younger. So why am I like this?

 

Empty, lost, depressed, alone, and numb. These things I feel, but logically I know that I am not supposed to feel this way. I don't understand why... Scary part is, sometimes these things get to me so much that I want to end it all. But then I think of my family and friends, and what that would do to them. So I go on fighting my emotions. And then I feel depressed. See a cycle?

 

Therapy could have helped me, if my mom could have afforded it. But of course, she couldn't so I'm stuck dealing with it. But dealing with what? I have no event in my life right now that is horrific! Things are actually going well. I'm so confused. I don't even know why I am typing this. Is anyone else in my boat or am I more psycho than I thought?

[shellgranado]

i can say 1 thing and its the most important that anyone will tell you

SEEK MEDICAL HELP NOW you need medicine then you will feel alot better and you will be able to deal with your feelings

[moimeme]

Depression is a biochemical condition. It isn't logical and doesn't need a reason to exist. Go see your regular family doctor, who should be able to diagnose depression if that's what you have and treat it.