things that unsettle you.

[befreckled]

The bf and I have been together for the last 10 months. Within the first 2 months of our relationship, I met his parents while I was visiting him. They hosted me for dinner and were very accommodating. A couple months ago, I visited again and I was invited to stay with them for the weekend, I accepted.

 

Perhaps because I spent a much longer time in their house this time around, I noticed the pictures around the house and there are about 2 pictures of my bf and his high school girlfriend (his longest relationship to date) alongside family pictures. So, she's part of the family or was. As far as I know, they are no longer in contact. They are very nice to me.

 

Still it affected me somewhat. Like I immediately felt that "hmmm how long do I have to be with him to have my picture with him to be up the wall?"

 

It's sort of silly I get it. He doesn't live with them and in his apartment, there is nothing about that ex.

 

Would that unsettle you? Been through something similar?

[Sake3838]

If I was in your boyfriends position I would have taken that photo down before you went over.

 

But thats just me, as special as someone is to you in the past, you shouldnt leave memories like that lingering which can ruin something new and wonderful that can be even better.

[HeavenOrHell]

I was unsettled by my partner's ex staying most weekends with him, and the fact most of her stuff was in his flat still, even her things on the bedside table, because she was staying with friends, so her stuff was there until she found a place, slippers and toothbrush were the worst, and most of her clothes were in the wardrobe with his stuff still, think some of it is still there. Felt a bit like she still lived there. There are still paintings, drawings, things like that around the place, which is fair enough he wants to keep them.

He saw much less of her when I said I wasn't happy, and she's moved away now.

 

I'm sure once you and your partner have been together longer they will put a a photo of you up as well, these things take time

 

The bf and I have been together for the last 10 months. Within the first 2 months of our relationship, I met his parents while I was visiting him. They hosted me for dinner and were very accommodating. A couple months ago, I visited again and I was invited to stay with them for the weekend, I accepted.

 

Perhaps because I spent a much longer time in their house this time around, I noticed the pictures around the house and there are about 2 pictures of my bf and his high school girlfriend (his longest relationship to date) alongside family pictures. So, she's part of the family or was. As far as I know, they are no longer in contact. They are very nice to me.

 

Still it affected me somewhat. Like I immediately felt that "hmmm how long do I have to be with him to have my picture with him to be up the wall?"

 

It's sort of silly I get it. He doesn't live with them and in his apartment, there is nothing about that ex.

 

Would that unsettle you? Been through something similar?

[Els]

I think this is really more the family's fault than the bf's. Unless you actually want him to tell his parents specifically to take it down, I would just attribute it to the family's oversight and leave it at that.

[Lucky_One]

I have a picture of my son with an XGF from two years ago. They were on their way to his first real formal dance. I don't plan on taking it down simply because she isn't a part of his life anymore, and I very likely wouldn't take it down if a new GF came to the house. And she was never anyone I considered "part of the family"; my son IS part of the family and I like the picture and what it represents.

 

If they liked you, were nice to you, and asked you to stay in their house, then I would consider that a wonderful thing and forget about two pictures.

[folieadeux]

I can see how it would bother you, but I agree with Elswyth on this one. This is his parents' oversight and not your boyfriend's.

 

My friend's parents (whose married now) has a picture of him and his ex girlfriend displayed in the house. Some people just don't think. If it still bothers you, I guess you can always tell him to get the hint across to his parents.

[befreckled]

I think this is really more the family's fault than the bf's. Unless you actually want him to tell his parents specifically to take it down, I would just attribute it to the family's oversight and leave it at that.

 

I guess, it was more surprising to me more than anything. I don't have anything with regards to any bf or ex in my apartment and neither does my family. In general, I fall under the "out of sight, out of mind!" camp. All presence of any ex should not exist That said, I realise it is somewhat silly but I guess given that I'll be there again this Christmas, I've got to make sure I don't linger in front of that damn frame!

 

And she was never anyone I considered "part of the family"; my son IS part of the family and I like the picture and what it represents. If they liked you, were nice to you, and asked you to stay in their house, then I would consider that a wonderful thing and forget about two pictures.

 

I appreciate that. Well, I hope they like me and they have been nothing but nice to me so you are absolutely right.

[befreckled]

My mother has pictures of my ex all over her house. I believe the reason she hasn't taken them down is because I'm in the pics, and they're GOOD pictures, so I'm not exactly jumping all over her to remove them from the wall. When I was back home a week or two ago we did come across a pic of my ex on her computer.

 

My mom asked if I wanted to delete it and I said it doesn't matter. If I thought it was something that would upset my SO I would take it down immediately. But he's pretty ambivalent to most things, and having pics of my ex is not something that would upset him.

 

LOL. I hear you on looking good in pictures. Yeah, the bf is sort of the same. Nothing really affects him or fazes him so I highly doubt this even crossed his mind.