broken-and-lost Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Hi Guys Had yet another set back last night. I was driving home and ran into the ex pulling out of a junction i looked in my rear mirror and she purposely hung about until another car was between us then drove behind, when it came to a junction were i was going right and she left she sped past to avoid eye contact. This has really upset me why does she continue to rent apartment less then a mile away. If she wants to now avoid me, she could have moved ages ago but she hasn't. I have really tired my best to put things right between us, and not because i've wanted us to get back together not anymore i know that's not possible, but just because i don't want to go through this every time i see her it would be nice to know she forgives what happened. she obviously still has strong feelings about everything i don't blame her but i've done everything a man can do to improve myself and also cure an illness which frankly has taken a terrible toil on my life which i never wanted. This is not good for either of us, i can't really move as i own my home so makes it difficult for me. I don't understand why she puts us both in this situation by staying so close it's been a year now and it's been hell, she e-mailed me up until Aug of this year then she said she didn't want me, contacting her as it upset her. she decided to go down the ignore route now which is fine why does she hate me so much and why stay so close? sorry for the rant it's just left me really upset i just want to try and rebuild my life. i had to deal with two things losing the love of my life and also dealing with developing depression. I care so much for this girl i always did our breakup was due to me getting ill rather then falling out of love. I just feel like every time i see her around it set me back and i have no way to avoid it. I don't understand her she refuses to talk about how she feels apart from saying how much i hurt her by pushing her away that's the most i've gotten from her or a load of abusive anger about me Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Things like this will always set you back, but slowly each time you'll start to handle it better. Until the one day comes when you no longer care. You still remember everything, but it no longer hurts. There's no quick fix, but ranting on here and airing your feelings is better than bottling it all up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken-and-lost Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 I know m8 it's just killing me i don't understand her reasoning and it hurts like hell. I'm not a monster i'm a genuine guy who just went through a difficult time who wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone yet she makes me feel like the opposite Link to post Share on other sites
Dmoney28 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 hey Broken, i know where you are comming from. early in my break up, the same types of things happen. Whatever reason she still rents that apartment..you'll never really now, its a choice governed by her and only her. Whatever the reason, you still have to deal with your own issues, and healing. Just take it one day at a time, thats the only thing you can do. This like everything else will pass in time. good luck in your NC, another year from now you'll be in a better emotional state Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken-and-lost Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 hey Broken, i know where you are comming from. early in my break up, the same types of things happen. Whatever reason she still rents that apartment..you'll never really now, its a choice governed by her and only her. Whatever the reason, you still have to deal with your own issues, and healing. Just take it one day at a time, thats the only thing you can do. This like everything else will pass in time. good luck in your NC, another year from now you'll be in a better emotional state Dmoney really appreciate you posting a comment i know you have been through something very similar to me with your own break up and i know you've come out the other end. I think i really struggle with the forgiveness stuff i want her to just say it's ok and understand what i went through, and am going through i shared my soul and everything about me to this girl and at the end she used it all against me to justify her actions. She even said early on in the breakup that he was remembering everything bad so she would say strong despite knowing that i was not myself. It all cuts me to my soul, reading your story and journey has given me a little hope that i can make it through all of this and come out the other side a better man and human being, i just hope i can hold off the dark thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts