Is it doomed?

[mrmamboo]

Hello everyone, I'm new here So here's my story, as short as I can manage (it could be much more detailed, so just ask..)

 

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over 2 years. We are from different countries, and we met in my country, where she was working during the winter. After said winter I had already decided to go abroad to a sort of a boarding school for 10 months and she would move back to her country, so we would now live 600 km from each other so we could meet every now and then.

 

After my 10 month stay, I decided to move in with her, I felt we had been living a long distance relationship for long enough. But relatively soon I realized that I just wasn't happy there. I was now living in a country in which I barely spoke the language and everything was very new to me. I became very dependent on her, about everything. I was sort of helpless without her. We discussed this and she said she had noticed the same thing and it was as well hard for her, because neither of us could be "free". So I took the decision to go back home, finally, having been away from home for 14 months.

 

Two weeks before going home, I went to visit some of my friends from my old school, and spent a quality week with them. During the same time, my girlfriend was going to a big festival over the weekend.

 

However, immediately after I came back to her, she told me that she had gotten drunk and kissed another man. This came as a big shock for me, because I had sometimes been slightly jealous, but she always convinced me not to be, and I had become much better at it than I initially was.

 

I've always wanted to give people second chances. Many people might say it's a weakness, and maybe it is, but I know how sad I feel when I make a mistake and I don't get a chance to make it right. However, she told me that when she kissed the man, she didn't feel anything that was stopping her from doing it. I guess her love for me had turned cold. (It should be noted that she has always been a bit interested in a little bit open relationship, something I could never do. It's not in my nature I think. But this could possibly explain why she didn't feel guilt about kissing that man)

 

Anyway, we now had one more week together before I'd fly 2000 km away, unplanned if or when we would meet again, so we decided to make good of it. It actually turned out to be our best time in that country. I felt more comfortable after taking a short break from her country, and the language seemed to be easier for me. The sex was better than it had been for a long time and we were generally in better mood.

 

So now we are in some sort of a pause situation, I'm not entirely sure what we are now, but we talk every now and then and so on.

 

So what do you people think? Am I just beating a dead horse? Does a relationship that once goes into cheating ever fully turn back to "normal"? I still love her, and I wanted our relationship to last, but maybe it's already doomed.

 

I have been thinking a lot about if what happened can be blamed on me. I used to date a girl in my teenage years for 2,5 years, and she cheated on me 2-3 times (yes, we were both young and stupid, but it doesn't change what she did). And since this is the first time my present "girlfriend" cheats, it has got my asking questions about whether I somehow affect this behavior, perhaps by making the girl take me for granted and therefore killing her interest. Any thoughts on this?

 

I'm sorry I didn't put the country names in here, but if this is too confusing like this I can put them in too.

 

I appreciate any advice, and please feel free to ask for any additional information you think is missing.

 

Thanks,

mrmamboo