yeszombie Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I broke it off with him two days ago after listening to your advice on here. I feel like ****. I work with him so I've seen him since and every time he touches me, I want him to kiss me. I can't explain why. I just want him to want me because him not wanting me makes me feel like I'm not good enough? Why else wouldn't he want me? And why did my ex leave? I'm just so confused. I miss my ex so much. This guy with the girlfriend was the only thing I had to take me away from that. I'm not ugly or a bad person but I'm 25 now with a child from a previous relationship and I am so worried that I will be alone forever. That nobody will ever want me. I just don't know what to do. Am I doing the right thing in fighting my feelings for the man with the gf? Link to post Share on other sites
26pointblue Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Yes, you are doing the right thing. You will never meet a good guy while you were dating this loser who is committed to someone else. The only way out is to move on. Don't feel bad about yourself, you will find love. And it will be with someone who is available to be with you all the time. I know that it's hard right now but it does get better. Believe me, I've been there. Hugs girl, you're going to be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Gentlegirl Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I broke it off with him two days ago after listening to your advice on here. I feel like ****. I work with him so I've seen him since and every time he touches me, I want him to kiss me. I can't explain why. I just want him to want me because him not wanting me makes me feel like I'm not good enough? Why else wouldn't he want me? And why did my ex leave? I'm just so confused. I miss my ex so much. This guy with the girlfriend was the only thing I had to take me away from that. I'm not ugly or a bad person but I'm 25 now with a child from a previous relationship and I am so worried that I will be alone forever. That nobody will ever want me. I just don't know what to do. Am I doing the right thing in fighting my feelings for the man with the gf? Course your'e doing the right thing.. for you , his gf and the baby. Mainly for you though. YOu are certainly not a bad person and you won't be alone forever. YOu are just missing your x and feel lost . Do you have family to turn to? It takes a LONG time to get over a relationship. It's not going to get better in 2 months. Concentrate on your child and your work. Tell Mr Handy to keep his hands to himself and to stop touching you. Keep Going , GG Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Concentrate on your child and your work. Tell Mr Handy to keep his hands to himself and to stop touching you. This! Make it loud and clear he has to stop this behaviour. Unwanted physical contact = sexual harassment Look after yourself and your child and you will get through this Link to post Share on other sites
Author yeszombie Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 Thank you all for your replies. I decided to turn the pc off and go to sleep but all I can think about is my ex and the last time I saw him. Which was him at the bottom of our street with his suitcase saying 'I'm sorry'. I don't know if I did the right thing. I didn't chase my ex I just let him leave and I haven't attempted to see him. Perhaps I should have? He was cheating on me and taking a lot of drugs so I figured let him go but I'm so unhappy on my own. This new guy just makes me feel miles better about myself everyday but when he's come over, he's left straight after he's had sex with me because he has to get back to his pregnant girlfriend and even though I want him to stay I never argue because I know the score - so what right dpbi have to demand his time? That's her right, isn't it? I just want to be hugged and loved again and I want the family back that I thought I had two months ago :-( Where do I go from here? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Well start putting your rights first. You and your child deserve a better life than your ex or this man at work ever offered you. You deserve love, respect, honesty. You deserve someone whose arms you can fall asleep in at night and then wake up with in the morning. You deserve someone who will love your child and act like a father should. You deserve someone who truly loves you and who you can love openly and not just behind closed doors. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yeszombie Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 I honestly thought I had that. Even when my ex stayed out and turned his phone off for three days, I made excuses saying 'he would never cheat!' to anyone who would listen. He left three days later and was with this new girl within a week of leaving. Isn't with her now but I believed him. He was amazing with my child. I was engaged and with him for years. I don't understand why he left and I don't understand where I will ever meet someone new as I feel old and all I do is work. :-( I feel unwanted. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby_shoes Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Well start putting your rights first. You and your child deserve a better life than your ex or this man at work ever offered you. You deserve love, respect, honesty. You deserve someone whose arms you can fall asleep in at night and then wake up with in the morning. You deserve someone who will love your child and act like a father should. You deserve someone who truly loves you and who you can love openly and not just behind closed doors. Yes this ^^^ Absolutely! Would it help to see a counsellor to discuss fear of being alone? You are doing the right thing, and doing it for you The mind is stronger than the body. Go girl! Be strong for you. (hug). You will find a fish you can call your own with no drama and no BS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yeszombie Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 I don't fear being alone for the time being. I fear being alone in the long run. Like - never getting married, never moving in with anyone again, never having another child. Do you think that's quite a common fear or do you think counseling might help? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I think feeling that way is perfectly understandable after the emotional beating you have taken over the past few months. But in time you will get stronger, happier and more confident. That is when opportunities will start opening up for you again - when you are ready for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby_shoes Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I don't fear being alone for the time being. I fear being alone in the long run. Like - never getting married, never moving in with anyone again, never having another child. Do you think that's quite a common fear or do you think counseling might help? I see. It depends on you! You need to be kind to yourself after all you've been through and your self esteem might be fragile right now. If you think you can get over your fear in time and it's a temporary reaction then I'd say maybe not, but if it's a longer term fear you've had before it can't hurt to have a go. I found counselling great but you have to find the right person for you. One thing though you must do is grieve, be kind to yourself and patient. These R's are unhealthy for us but they still hurt because they can't come to their natural conclusion and end healthily always. x Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby_shoes Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I think feeling that way is perfectly understandable after the emotional beating you have taken over the past few months. But in time you will get stronger, happier and more confident. That is when opportunities will start opening up for you again - when you are ready for them. Again yes Link to post Share on other sites
RandysOneTrueLove Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I know it hurts to be alone but stay strong and let the hurt heal. If you go back to either of these undeserving guys you will just prolong your pain and loneliness. You will find a man who will put you and your child first, You are still young young young ;-) I didnt find my true love til I was 28, and even when we found each other it has been a struggle because we are all human and screw up. Value yourself. There is nothing wrong with you that makes them leave or cheat. You simply havent met the one who will love you above all else yet. He will find you. Focus on that beautiful child and make NOW memories with him/her. Embrace the two of you as you are and when the time is right, the romantic part of your life will fall into place. Link to post Share on other sites
missy268 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I can identify with you I'm a single mum - I'm 26 and i have a child from a previous relationship, we broke up last November - unlike you though i have no feeling for my ex - i dont want him back and i can live without him - he comes and sees our child but as for anything else - nothing...years of fighting sorted that out. I've been the other woman officially now since July - and i don't like it...apparently he is leaving,i was doing no contact but managed to break it and now we're back in contact and hes hardly texting me at all which signals to me maybe it's time to let go again? But it is so hard - like you I am scared of being on my own in the long run - not getting married, another baby etc but the thing with me and the guy is, we used to work together, we are really close, we have a really good connection - and i know most people say this, but nobody really knows what its like when your together - and i'm worried if i give that up and let him go, he will leave her, and get with somebody else and ill never have that with anybody again - it's hard to explain but it feels like he's the other half of me - and its been that way since early 2010 Im waffling about myself way to much here, but your not alone even though it feels like it Im miserable with him and miserable without him so whats a girl to do ! I know it hurts but i think a little bit of being strong and we could possibly both get there! Link to post Share on other sites
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